Hi all,
If anyone can get me this: http://rsi.aip.org/resource/1/rsinak/v63/i2/p1788_s1?isAuthorized=no
thanks.

Now, I am rather low and depressed and find myself quite a daft woman with no talent or normal intelligence. My life sucks, at somepoint there will be that point when I'll have had this enough-is-enough moment and finally pull the trigger. till then my life's sodded off with my thesis and my unreachable dream of being academic-wise.
I suppose i am not making sense. anyhow, article pls if someone can fetch it. thanks.
Cheers
Have a lovely day to all who can feel love&life

Rhea2011

Hey Rhea, sorry I cannot help with your article request, but wanted to offer you some support with respect to the rest of your post. I'm sorry you feel so rubbish right now- is it to do with your studies or is it other stuff? Life throws all sorts at us and it can be seriously tough sometimes to stick with it and see things through. Are you getting any help? If not, you need to go seek medical help asap. Your GP should be able to offer you some help, or your university should have a counselling service. I used my uni counselling service for 7 years (for support with bipolar & PTSD) and they literally saved my life. It's not easy to start talking to a counsellor/psychologist but they will not judge you or be shocked by what you say. It might be a relief to just tell someone what's going on with you. I've been there with the depression and nearly didn't come out of the other side, but things do get better, sometimes as quickly as they got bad, especially when you don't expect it. You deserve to feel better- nobody deserves to feel so awful- so please look after yourself. Believe me, you can get through this. Best, KB

Keenbean's advice is very good. I would also adds that if you get very very low suddenly and need help urgently please feel free to contact the Samaritans whose contact details you can find in the phone book or online. They are there to help, available at all hours, and will listen to you if that's all you need, or also offer more practical help. Don't be afraid to seek help. There are lots of people who can help you. Don't carry on suffering in silence.

Thanks for all the advice. I really appreciate it. talking it here while sitting and pondering what to write for your thesis as your time slowly reaches the end ..Any help with the article at all?
I have sought help before, but oh well, nothing much has come from counselling, the samaritans and all that. I am relatively ok these days, just a tad bit suicidal every now and again when the vanity of a such a low IQ-ed life gets to me.
Have a good day everyone.

Cheers
Rhea2011

P.S. pls someone help me find the article...thank u

Hi Rhea
I found your article but, as a newbie here, I dont know how to send you.

If you feel depressed due to your PhD, it is good to know that we all in the same boat. A PhD doesn't make you more wise or whatever. There are a lot clever people out there with no PhD. Keep going and it will pass.
And remember, the best thing in life is the life itself. Nothing, else.
Cheer up:-x

Dear Rhea,
I'm glad someone else managed to access the article. I could get it, but have an annoying thing on my laptop (or is it my browser?) where I can't save some articles. If you don't have it by Monday I could get it to you by then from my Uni computer.

I really hope you manage to get past suicidal thoughts. Doing a PhD can be a lonely and at times frustrating/upsetting/depressing process but it really shouldn't drive you to having suicidal thoughts. Writing up is the worst bit (well it is for me) when are you aiming to finish? I have a week to go an A LOT to do. I know I don't know you but I'm sure you are intelligent, that article doesn't look like the easiest of topics. Anyway PM me with your email if you still need the article monday and I can send it to you.

======= Date Modified 25 Sep 2011 02:46:55 =======
Rhea, after many years I have finally chosen to celebrate that on Myer Briggs (personality tests, etc) I come out as a perceptive intuitive feeler. In fact I come out in a version of this type in every personality test I just about do-when I get bored I do tests and quizzes and become even more bored by facebook.

I have hidden this for years because I wanted to be a thinker. Intelligence is highly valued in my family of origin and while your personality type (if you believe in such things) has nothing to do with innate intelligence but is more your style or modus operandi in the world-being a 'feeler' (sounds bloody creepy put that way, doesn't it?) isn't what is popular in academic circles.

However, I went to Vietnam for a holiday recently and found that my life values were given a bit of a twist by the experience and all of a sudden somethings I had been fighting and suppressing for years, seemed to be quite okay- so instead of hiding and fighting the fact
that while I think I am relatively smart, I know my first preference is feeling and being ashamed of this-I began to just be happy about this and happy that despite this I was still doing my doctorate.

Doing a PhD is not about being the most brilliant person or thinker of the moment. It is about committing to a process and valuing that process of education and where it leads you-with hopefully a sound piece of research at the end. And education is of the mind and intelligence but it is about the heart as well...so embrace your (sodding!!!) PhD and the commitment, the thought, the determination and the effort you put into it-it will contribute to your very high level of education, a privilege many in the world would envy, and it will hone your thinking, even if you don't think that you are that smart-which is most likely not true any way.
Hope you find the article btw:-)

Hey Rhea

You're sooooo nearly there, you've been working hard for ages now - sending positive thoughts [and article which you may have by now but just in case not!] your way.

Hi Rhea2011

I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. Even though I relate to what you're saying, I really don't know what I could possibly say that could help you, other than that I encourage you to talk to someone that you can trust about this. I did (my boyfriend), and it actually helped even though I didn't really want to say anything about it and didn't think that I would get anything out of talking about it anyway, and hadn't really had much benefit in talking to uni counsellors previously (though previous discussions were about the broader issues). It hasn't been the absolute answer, but it made it more manageable somehow, or gave me some relief.

Please post back and let us know how you're doing, or pm me - I'd really like to know how you're going. Your topic sounds difficult (far more than mine! :p) and I'm sure there is no reason to doubt your capacity. I'm sure you have very high standards for yourself, which of course would prob be contributing to the problem, and I think that there's hope even though you don't feel it right now. But talking to someone might help you move to a place where you might be able to feel it.

Keep going, and please keep in touch xx :)

Hello Guys,
Thank you all for helping out with your advice and the article of course (I got it sent by three of you lovely people!). Thanks, it helps to read everyone's comment here sharing there experiences. I am sure once I get this thesis out of my way I will feel a lot better--I am doing a masters thesis write up btw. It's due this friday. Good luck to all who is currently writing theirs up. I will hopefully get in touch with some of you, but once this thesis is out of my way. :)
cheers

Rhea2011

Nothing is forever rhea2011. dont give up and dont think abt these thoughts.you will finish the phd as any other student and you will do whatever you like of your life. this one as well is not forever, so enjoy it as long as you have it!take care

Rhea,

We've all felt like that at some stage, that we're on the brink so to speak. That it from someone who completed the process quite a while ago now, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

If you're feeling that down, perhaps you need to take a time out. Perhaps a few days, perhaps go on holiday. If you're feeling really bad, it may be worth arranging some time on sick leave.

The thesis can't be the be all and end all. If you make it that, then yes, you do go stir crazy. Take a break for your own sake now.

Ian (Mackem_Beefy)

Hi Rhea,

I'm sorry you've been feeling down, as others have said, support can sometimes be so helpful! I know your thesis is due on Friday so if you can talk to a friend or a family member even if it's just to let some steam off?

The writing up can be the most stressful time (it certainly has been for me and I'm not quite done yet!) so making sure you take care of yourself is really important. You're are sooo almost there! Keep it up! And do let us know how things are, ok?

Take good care of yourself.

Hi Rhea,
I can't say anything other than just stay strong and don't let the PhD overwhelm you. You can and will overcome the difficulties you face. The PhD imposes so much stress and pressure on people that it is easy to blame yourself for any problems.

You are not at fault and never think that you are (my thoughts on the PhD process/structure, university institutions and supervisors and the negative effects they have upon students are not good ones)

Just take it one day at a time and one small step at a time and do what's best for you and your health. That is always the most important thing.