i feel like i am sitting in some black hole and i cant get out, so i thought id post here and see if anyone can help.
ive been studying molecular life science. 3 years bachelor (got my BSc 2:1), 3 years master of science (ill be done with the study next week), finishing it first class honors. the obvious next choice is: phd. everybody of the other students in my class go for one. however: i actually dont want to do a phd. i know it might be better for me in the future, but i just dont want to..sitting ridiculous hours in lab, article deadlines...thats 3-4 years stress i dont want.
so lez say i stick to my MSc and go from there... what can i do with that? in science, id be a technician...or customer support. this may sound vain, but i 'feel' that thats no work for me..id get bored soon, id need more than that. but not as much as a phd.

so lez say, screw science ... what can i do with my msc outside of science?! i have no idea.

things are getting worse for me, since i have absolutely no idea what i want to do with my life. i feel like i have no passion about anything, no hobbies, nothing that id think "ha! thaaaaats what i wanna do full time, that would be fun and id like doing such work". i hve no dream and no goal in life. the only thing i know is that i wanna be independent, i wanna earn my own money, i wanna have some lil appartment and in my free time i will do whatever i want to keep me happy. there are enough things that will keep me busy, they just dont pay. so what about my work life? most of life is spent at work, so it should be something you like doing, that satisfes you. and thats where i am stuck.

i keep turning in circles, from phd to msc to outside-science and back again, never finding an answer that satisfes me. im starting to think that cause i have spent 6 years in science i got a background i can fall back to, i should stay in science. but i dont feel anymore like i made the right choice, and i dont know what i could do outside of science. so if i stay in science i feel i MUST do a phd, cause technician will be too boring for me, and phd is better for my future....and then i get back to that i dont actually want a phd.

as you can see, i am stuck in the same damn loop and i cant find a way out..and its driving me insane. ive been thinking about this problem for 2 years now, and still got no answer. a few months ago i ended up in a depression, back then i was scared, literally SCARED to finish my study cause i didnt know what to do next. somehow (dont ask me how) i managed to get out of the depression, pulled myself together to finish the study. but now i feel like im startin to slide back down that hole again. and i dont know what to do.

i dont know why im posting here. ive seen some posts from phd students here who think about quitting their phd and to give up, maybe thats why. maybe there are people here that might understand me.

thank you for your time.

Does your university have a careers service for students/graduates? Most do. If so maybe you should ask their advice? They often have computer assessment tools which can work out what jobs might really suit you, and should be able to advise what your qualifications could be used for.

I don't know which country you a rein but if you are in the UK the university careers service can help - they can arrange for apptitude tests to see what occupations might suit you. They can also advise on cv, interview techniques etc.

thanks guys, thats a good idea indeed... i just downloaded some document i had to fill in, gonna walk by my university in an hour (when they open up) and gonna make an appointment...
geeeez, why didnt i think of this before? never crossed my mind :/ hope its not too late, i terminated my study room already and gonna be moving back to my parents in few weeks. hope the uni can be quick...
thank you guys

Hello Tydra!

All the feelings you have are very normal! I think pretty much everyone goes through these thoughts when graduating! Your life was pretty much fixed until now, andfor the first time now, toy can choose for yourself!
After 6 years studying you probably feel you had enough of studying and it is time to earn your own money. On the other hand, you see your friends going for a PhD and you start wondering if this is what you should do...
I took a 5 year work break from studying before I started my PhD. I felt that I wanted to face the real world, make my own money, get work experience. At the bottom of my heart I always wanted to go back to my natural habitat, the university.
The advantages from the time-off were numerous. First of all, I have some work experience before the whole economical crisis thing broke in (well, it was a matter of luck too). Then, I have some money in the bank and I still get jobs from time to time to top up my income. Finally, I feel that the break helped me make a better choise too, as I had plenty of time to look for possible research areas and make up my mind.

It is never too late to go back to academia ( if you want to), after you take a break. Nothing to be ashamed of.
Good luck, everything will eventually fall in place
(gift)

geez mate, you speak right from my soul :/ thats exactly whats going on in me now ... fed up with studying, wanna earn my money finally, but worried that it might be the wrong decision in the long run, worried that once i choose to get out of the science path i wont be able to get back in and do the phd at a later point, due to the 'mainstream students' you are getting pushed into directions you dont want, phd phd phd phd phd ffs i cant hear it anymore!! part of this whole shite is also the fault of my university, they dont prepare us well enough for alternatives. bleugh

Most careers services will help you for at least a year after graduating and if you are moving back to a different town you can go and ask the careers service at a local uni for help.

Hi Tydra,

I'm just finishing my Masters-like you I am going to submit next week and while I have full time professional work I usually enjoy, have found the last few weeks and months, working in a new role while trying to complete my thesis really difficult. As a person who rarely if ever gets ill physically, I have had three illnesses in the last two months-pretty much one to two weeks in between.

Anyway, I almost broke down at work yesterday when someone else got a promotion, I was happy they got, that I didn't apply for and didn't want...go figure. I was so upset I went to see a friend in Human resources before I had to face my classes as a fragile mess. He listened to my babble and then said-finish your Masters-give it the flick and give yourself some time- you need some breathing space to work out what you want. And while you've got that thing hanging over you, you can't move on and you feel (wrongly) that you are in a rut.

So, I looked at what you wrote, and I shouldn't really advise-it is your call, but it really sounds to me as if you are saying, right at this moment, you don't want a Phd. Maybe you will later on or in a year or whatever, but right now,you need to find out what it is you want and you are too overloaded and stressed to work it out. So maybe some time out just to breath the air, enjoy the weather and look at some of the nicer things in life, the answer, the next step will come to you.

Tydra - without being patronising, it is very understandable that you are scared for want of a better word for it. The practical advice given by the others is spot on.
Have you ever taught of taking a break for a year, focussing on recovering and looking at post-grad courses? You are highly qualified and would reckon you would walk into any of them (finances could be another issue, but one that can be dealt with). These one-year courses are highly intensive but are really worth it - some of them really do open up new options in other industries. In the year, get onto the respective heads of departments and ask the questions that matter (employment rates of graduates etc).

I think the more important matter is dealing with the personal lack of drive on having an interest in anything. It sounds simple, but it really is a personal thing and something that you have to force yourself at times, but there has to be something that you would really like to try. It is so easy after a days work to sit down in front of the TV and let the brain go numb, but forcing yourself out to do stuff will help (did Tai Chi after a similar experience and although it was a struggle at times, came back after it much more relaxed). Who knows ... maybe it might spark off interest in a potential new career.

I am making an assumption here, but you are young, talented and organised (numpties don't get considered for Masters, never mind finish them). You are accomplished in an area that requires intelligence and that alone would show you are adaptable. You are not hemmed in!