I am going back "home" next Saturday via a lift from a family memember, and leaving the following Friday via train, so I can see a friend then on back to where I live (for friend read boyfriend, my family don't know, and would cause even more hooha). My family are guilt tripping already that the 29th is too early. I don't want to go back at all now, and I feel rotten.

Sorry please ignore my moans and rants, I had pressed add message, when all I wanted to do was let of steam.

Don't feel bad. Part of the reason this time of year depresses me is the way you have to play diplomat to avoid upsetting anyone. My parents are divorced so I'm expected to spend Christmas with one and New Year with the other. This means that I can't just visit "home" for a few days like everyone else, I'm stuck hundreds of miles away from my home for two full weeks (23rd Dec - 3rd Jan) making forced converstaion with my parents friends about bloody railway stations of the 1950's or something, slowly going out of my mind from having to keep up an act

Don't get me wrong, I like seeing my family but I'd rather do it when things are less pressured ("It's Christmas" Everyone start having a good time NOW") and I don't have to stay so bloody long with nothing to do but sit watching TV and going stir-crazy. Or I'd like them to visit me for once, the roads go both directions!

My mum's been coming to me for the last few years - believe me, it's not all a bowl of cherries. On the upside, my side do our Xmas on the 24th (Polish style) and then we do 'English Xmas' the next day; I get to have food cooked for me and drinks poured all day - nice!