Hello,

Ever since I began this program, I have felt that I do not deserve my place and funding here. I have the feeling that only my supervisor is keen on having me here, for only he believes that my work is great. I even feel that my ideas aren't that great, that I owe my good grades to overtly generous markers, and that I am 'stealing' another person's place. I am so upset. I hate my work/my ideas, and I always think others in my department are way smarter and more deserving. I know I won't last if I am like this, but when only one person in the whole department supports you, and the others do not believe in you, you do end up feeling like a fraud.

I am so upset, I cried so much today. :(

I really need to start believing in myself, but I cannot. How can I?

Does your uni do any support for 'imposter syndrome'? Mine does. What you are feeling is more common than you think. Speak to your uni counselling services.x

Which year of ph.d are you doing right now?
I have been there. Sometimes the complex ego problems between your supervisor and others in the department may affect you.
As long as your supervisor supports you and appreciates your work, try to finish your ph.d and leave that place!
Wherever you go, some people may accept you.... others may not! You do not have to feel so down or lost, unless you do something wrong!

Ahh yes, this feeling is incredibly common! I am in my second year now, and still feel like that! In fact, I have a friend that just completed her final viva, and she still doesn't feel like she deserves it!

Your confidence will gradually improve, with every new challenge that you complete. It really helps to talk to other PhD students...having a pint and a "therapy session" together really refreshes you!

Good luck, and chin up.

J x

I remember when i was studying at my university i thought every day - this place is not for me, i shouldn't be here, so my last 2 years - i was almost absent.