Last night I was invited to a drinks party at the house of an academic from my uni. I was only invited because a 'celebrity' critic who I cited heavily in my MA dissertation was going to be there. The only people I knew to speak to were my two supervisors, but somehow I managed to chat to everyone in the room. A LOT. I was drunk. I got DRUNK and God KNOWS what I said to people. I have a flashback of telling everyone that I hate the opera and trying to explain why, but not being able to articulate myself well enough. So, I looked drunk AND uncultured. This critic asked me if I had any thing he could read and I told him 'not really, nothing very good'. (!?) My supervisor overheard that one and tried to gloss over it but no, I had to go on digging and say 'my dissertation wasn't very good either'. I've woken up, so mortified that I want to die. I shouldn't be allowed out of the house. This morning I noticed two massive holes in my tights. Probably, they were there all night and i never even noticed. :$

Shhhhhh, it's OK ((((hug))))

I can promise you it's never as bad as it seems. you'll be so surprised at how quickly people forget about these things. Believe it or not, your supervisors, this critic, everybody else there probably have better things to do than think about and judge you. The only person who's really going to remember what you did/said is you.

I know you're it a shi**y place today (mentally!), but you'll see the funny side of this one day soon.

Don't worry about it.

Woopsy. A girl in our department ended up in an ambulance after a department Christmas party.

Personally I don't drink, that way my ability to reason stays intact and everybody can see my 5-figure education. :p Why would anyone invest tens of thousands of pounds in an education, then spend a few pounds on flushing it away at a social event?

Hi Maria, I say don't worry. Everyone has embarassing moments; you didn't sit on anyome's knee, get caught trying too nick the loo roll or throw up oer the buffet. It just happens that yours happended when you were a bit drunk (as opposed to those of some other people ho don't need alcohol to be embarassing!). You were almost certainly not as bad as you think, and you actually did very well to have talked to so many people! Also it's perfectly ok to hate opera, or any other kind of culture and you weren't therer to give a lecture, so I wouldn't worry about justifying that.

I'd be tempted to email the critic and let them know how nervous and underconfident you were feeling, and that you would very much appreciate them looking over your work if the offer still stands.It's ok to be modest and underconfident, I, personally, think it's much preferable to the opposite.

You must have something going for you if your lecturers invited you to the party.

:-)

(((hugs)))

Hi Maria

Just wanted to say, things aren't that bad. Many people have gotten drunk at parties and regretted it the next day. What happened is almost uncertainly a bigger deal in your mind than in anyone else's.

I really know the "so mortified I want to die" feeling, as no doubt do many others. I hope that in a few days you will feel a less terrible! Also the "so mortified I want to die" feeling is so much worse when you are still hungover (I'm making an assumption here!) - when you feel a bit better you mind be less harsh on yourself.

Hang in there!

ejc x

bit harsh me thinks?!!

really, don't beat yourself up about it - I agree with comments below that you probably have the hang-over horrors still and therefore these things seem far worse. I totally understand why you are feeling like this, but it seems you are feeling bad because of the academic setting? Well, you were probably the most fun, honest person in the room - so you don't like opera, neither do I and I think it's best to be honest about these things!!! The alcohol probably hit you more because of the situation and anxiety - but remember, it did help you to speak to lots of strangers too!!
Hope you're feeling better soon

======= Date Modified 05 Dec 2009 22:24:26 =======
@EmmaB : don't worry about cleverclogs. They display a fast-shifting alteration in their posts on here, from very helpful/friendly to spiteful/hurtful or sometimes just a bit uncomfortable for the poster they are responding too. The first is visible on many threads where they gave good advice on a number of things, and the last on ones like these.

:-)

Indeed Bug, well observed.

======= Date Modified 05 Dec 2009 22:50:30 =======
[quote]



Personally I don't drink, that way my ability to reason stays intact and everybody can see my 5-figure education. [quote]



What on Earth is a '5-figure education'?

I'm a he, sweetheart. My posts are just honest (up)

======= Date Modified 05 Dec 2009 22:54:29 =======

Undergraduate education cost around 15k, phd scholarship around 60k = £75,000. Same probably applies for many others here. The point being that a 2-figure sum spent on alcohol can easily obscure the 5-figures spent on education.

....or terribly misguided. My personal favourite was your assumption that working for a missile producer was doing one's bit for the British troops.

======= Date Modified 06 Dec 2009 06:07:16 =======

There is of course another point as well - that when a person has got into a spot of trouble, something that may happen to the best of us, it is of little use to make comments such as these, when clearly they appreciate these points and really just need solidarity of some sort.



A point similar to the one you (accurately) reminded me of on Jojo's thread by pointing out I shouldn't rub it in someone's face that I am very happy, when they are feeling low. i.e. you shouldn't point fingers at a person who is feeling low, or from earlier, a person who is admitting having an unproductive day...



I agree with you that some of your posts are honest, but you know what, many of us on here can have that said for them. *Kind/sympathetic* posts are not necessarily dishonest posts, and *honest* posts need not necessarily make the person you are responding to feel about *that* big. Perhaps there's something called kind as well as honest posts?



Cheers.

Maria, don't stress about your drunken incident - you won't be the first or the last. Bear in mind, it was an informal event and I'm sure everyone else had a few too many. I managed to pour wine down myself at one formal dinner event, but that pales into insignificance compared to a fellow student who end up falling asleep, face down in her pudding. At another dinner, a conference participant ended up serenading fellow attendees (his day job is very formal). People are allowed to let their hair down.

If you were a drunk faculty member, leching over students or behaving badly, then you might have been remembered for your actions, but as a student whose drunk a little too much during the festive period it will be forgotten and only the most priggish of individuals will hold it against you.

======= Date Modified 06 Dec 2009 11:03:05 =======
Cloggsy for the Apprentice: it's got to happen! Suggestions for Cloggsy catch-phrases: 'It's a dog eat dog eat dog world out there, and Cloggsy's on top'; 'I am always honest, even if it means hospitalization'; 'I'm an achiever; I'm someone who can embarass my self while only having consumed Orangina'; 'watch out for my 5 figure education'.



Sorry all - especially Maria - for feeding.

And how could I have forgotten! 'Make way for my IQ...'