My supervisor has proposed to me for a relationship (intimate). I said I will think about that. Please advise me.

What did he say/how did he do it? How do you know he means "intimate"? Was he quite graphic? Do you fancy him?

He said he admires me and had never felt like...and wants me as a lover. He is quite young and nice. But but what will happen if such relation is started?

Well if such a relationship is started and ends badly, he will still be your supervisor at the end of the day. You don't want to ruin the "professional" relationship you have with him, right? It's a matter of your career. Another point, how do YOU know that he has never felt like that about any of his students before. The fact that he has approached you like this makes it all VERY suspicious.

How long before he is not your supervisor? Maybe you could ask him to wait until then.

Be careful Mina! Don't get involved if you're not sure that you really like and trust him. To think he's "nice" isn't enough. Don't let him use his power over you to do something you might not want.

That said, I know of a supervisor-student couple who eventually married and had children. However, I think it's only wise to get involved if he's "the one". Otherwise it could lead to so much trouble.

I agree with Jenny. Also I'm not sure if you would still be allowed to have him as your supervisor if you decided to have a relationship (professional boundaries and all that)

Hi Mina, I feel for you, what an awkward situation. If you don't feel the same, then firmly turn him down. If you feel the same then it's even more difficult! If so, perhaps as H said you can hold off until you are no longer his student. Not a good idea to pursue a relationship while he is supervising you, as Jenny said, the balance of power in the relationship is not equal. Take care and good luck.

I guess if you did want to start a romantic relationship you could think about transferring your supervision to somebody else? Think long and hard about this, I don't envy you, it's a very complicated situation. Just make sure you are not bullied into anything that is not 100% what you want. [I take it he's not married or anything? If he is, tell him where to go in no uncertain terms!] All the best.

It sounds very complicated I would say no. Don't feel you have to just because he is your supervisor!

All I can say is.......ooh err!!

I would say definately not, unless you think there's a marriage somewhere down the line (which obviously you don't or you wouldn't be so unsure). I married my undergrad personal tutor and it was very stressful and complicated because of the situation. I can imagine that would be even worse if it's your PhD supervisor. To be honest, I would say no and tell another member of staff (in confidence) that he proposed a relationship just to cover your back. What if he got nasty - this is the guy in charge of your PhD success!

i know of a happy marriage that started that way... but the student switched phd advisors and didn't even have her future-husband on her committee. that aside, relations with a professor are VERY different than relations with your phd supervisor!! so be careful!!

I am so intrigue and in fact grateful and thankful to colleagues for your concern and views about my situation. I think it is shaping my thoughts and perhaps my decision. Let the views flow please.

You should be sure that he's someone you really are interested in. Take it very slowly. Only you know if the relationship could be a genuine, lasting one. Anything less than that and it could quickly turn ugly and awkward for everybody.

Mina, can I ask, are you in the UK or elsewhere in the world?