So I used to be a very social person but after 3 years of PhD I realised that I can't manage finishing my PhD if I don't reduce on my social life. So I started not attending parties, not to hang out with friends and being very comfortable with saying No. But now sometime I feel isolated. But still insist to be away from the social life coz I think at the end that's what would be better for me. How to do you guys think of managing PhD and social life?

I'm coming to the end of my PhD and my social life is restricted at the moment, but I think it would be unwise for me to cut myself off completely.

Working all the time is not necessarily productive - you might only get the same amount done per week, but just spend longer doing it. Having sociable things to break up the work can be a good motivator and is certainly likely to be better for your mental health.

If you really are struggling to find time in your diary to see friends then double up things to make it efficient. Instead of eating alone, share dinner with a friend/go to a restaurant together. Invite a friend to do some kind of exercise with you e.g. game of tennis (keeping good physical health is also important). Go and do some work at a coffee shop and invite a friend to drop by towards the end of your session.

Realistically, the social invites that come your way might not be suitable for you right now, but it's possible to create opportunities that fit more around your schedule.

Yes... I can relate. I think I really should start saying no to social invites but I'm finding this very difficult as I want to see my friends. I spend one day a week with family and then probably 2 evenings a week with friends. The rest of the time I am spending 10-12 hour days on the PhD, but this leaves very little free time for alone time and chores etc. At some point I think I will have to start declining invites.

I agree it is not good for my mental health to completely cut down on social life but I can't manage PhD otherwise. My PhD needs a lot of constant focus and I can easily be distracted. Maybe it is weird but I become unmotivated when I socialise or party. Luckily I share my office with some other PhD students. This is the only thing that keep me sane. We get along very well and it is motivating to talk to them. But our interests are very different. They work 7 days a week 8 to 8! They barely do anything fun, drinking, eating out or travel. This way they motivate me to work more and then my social life is missing. So I occasionally hang with some non-students coz I share more interests with them but I see their fun and stress-free life full of travels and live activities, and feel miserable about PhD life. I feel like this PhD is not letting me live and I lived a life-less life. Being so far from family also makes things much worse. I'm just happy this will be over soon. But then my circle of friends as an academic will remain people who I don't share many interests with. I don't know sometimes I become too negative.

Remember it's only for a short duration. Keep your outside friends as much as you can, even if you socialise with them less as you will want to still be friends with them when you finish.

Correct. The idea of finishing in few months thrills me.

I've been rubbish throughout at balancing PhD and social life, and now that I'm working full time as well I'm even worse. When I'm really focusing on the thesis at weekends I find even an afternoon coffee can totally disrupt my flow and throw me off track. Some friends are better at compartmentalising their lives and don't understand, which sometimes makes me feel guilty, sometimes annoyed, always stressed: it's not easy, juggling work and phd, and piling on guilt isn't helpful, which makes me wonder about their friendship.

You sound as though you're out socialising virtually all the time. :-)

Seriously, for the sake of your own sanity, you need to set aside one or two nights a week where the PhD takes a back seat and you see your friends. Otherwise you go stir crazy, especially during write-up.

Ian

Focusing on your chosen career is important.
:)

On the other hand, this is your real life for 4 years, so try to enjoy it as much as you can. Work hard, party hard.

There is no guarantee that tmr life will be better.