Hey guys...I've recently ended a 3 year relationship (5 months ago)with a guy whos now doing medicine.

I want to try and find someone else. There is a postdoc guy who seemed interested in me when I met him a couple of weeks ago. He works in a different building to me. How do I ask him out?? Should I email him or go and find him in the place he works? I feel like I have to learn all the rules of how to be single all over again!

I know this is such a random post! ARG.

You should ask him out definitely! Although don't ask me how, I have very dubious pick-up techniques, they work but I'm not sure why.

Did you end it because you didn't want to go out with a medic?

I'm well nosey!

No I SO want to be with a medic.

Its a looong story. The thing was that he was english (half caste) and not indian like I. And I thought my parents would not accept him. The whole 3 years was a secret from my parents. Then I came to London, broke up from him, but still spoke to him everyday. Then two weeks ago I realised my mum was suspicious...so I told her the truth that I had a boyfriend but was now single. And she was SO understanding. And said she would have liked to have met him. So I was kicking myself. And was realsiing I still love him and wanted him back, and then last week he told me he's now just starting to date someone else. And wouldn't give us a second chance even though now my mum says she would have been happy with him. So there you go. I need to find someone else. Lol I'm only 21...my first heartbreak! get the violins out!

Ok so I'll ask this guy out. Gotta start somewhere.

Well at least you know that your mum would be supportive even if the guy wasn't the same. My mum had a fit when I was dating a guy that was a slightly different Indian caste to me, you are quite lucky!

Definitely go for the other guy. Why not suggest a coffee or a drink to start with.

I don't see why you couldn't email him for coffee/drink?

What happened with this guy then?

start a email chat and see where it goes.!

Oh it was ages ago, wasn't that keen on him anyway. I found myself a bloke I'm actually allowed, so marrying him

Wow that sounds great, congratulations! I hope so much I find someone. I emailed this guy I was just telling you guys about....turns out he's married.

How hilarious! I'm actually so proud of myself though for asking anyway. But I hate so much being single...I have very few single friends.

Maybe it's not easy to understand the whole caste thing as a non-Indian.

But from an outside view the whole idea of approved marriages sounds completely ridiculous. Is it not your life rather than that of your parents?

I can understand why the whole thing doesn't make sense to you but I personally wanted to marry someone from my community that my family approved of. I'm very much a family-orientated person and realise that my parents have sacrificed their whole lives for me and my brother. Therefore if my parents ask something small of me, I can't and don't want to say no.

I admit that I did get angry at one point about being only specifically allowed someone from my community but my parents did let me date someone that wasn't. I wanted someone who would fit into my family and can speak to my grandmas (they don't speak english). Someone from the same background understands where I am coming from and understands family commitments.

Having met my fiance, I love the way he can talk to the elders with the correct respect as well as my brother, my cousins etc and get along with everyone.

It also happens the two families actually knew each other back in the days. So everyone loved it that the two of us are getting married.

With Indian weddings, it's not just the couple that are getting married, it is the families getting married too. The more compatible they are, the easier this transaction is and the happier everyone is.

My parents are quite "old-skool". In fact Indians in India are more modern than my family. This is because I'm third generation born out of India and you normally see people trying to hold onto their customs and culture more, the further away they are from their origins.

oh and otto, you are saying about it being my life and not my parents, well I picked my fiance, my parents didn't pick him for me.