ok folks, not sure what is causing this, but I have recently started calling people 'love', and one night a few weeks ago, after a considerable amount of Peroni lager, I called a sweet barman who had been helping us by taking group photos of me and my posse, and had got very friendly with us, 'darling'. What is happeing to me??? I do this with people who are much younger than me, they bring out this maternal thing and I end up saying 'love' (and, yes, for that excruciatingly embarassing late night moment, 'darling'???).

One of my friends says she hates it when people she doesn't know do this, friends etc yes in that case it's a term of endearment, but strangers? She says she is not their 'love', and finds it intrusive. Am I causing offence by using 'love' tot he lovely young ladies who work in tescos etc? Or is it ok?

I'm with your friends there. I absolutely hate it when I'm in a shop/cafe/you name it, the shop assistant/waitress/etc calls me love or darling, or sweety (as I was called yesterday in a cafe). I usually don't say anything, but it does bother me.

This is an interesting topic...generally I don't mind when someone calls me 'love' or whatever, the only one that bothers me sometimes is 'babe'. I almost always perceive it as friendly rather than patronising or anything else.

I use 'darling', 'sweetie' and 'honey' the most I think, not that I use them all the time, mainly at work as it's how we tend to address each other, I guess as terms of endearment as I work with a large group of girly girls (p/t time in a hairdressers)! I use them most with the assistants when asking them to do something, so I guess that is patronising sometimes - I think in that environment it is a bit tongue in cheek really.

I use words like that quite a lot with my girlfriends as well, so I think I would call them "terms of endearment". I think 9 times out of 10 it's ok to use these terms, as they are so ingrained in our everyday language. If I was annoyed about someone addressing me in that manner, I would never say so either.

I hate the use of 'hon' - like we're all girly girls together hon and 'awwww hon' - urgh! hate it!!

I must admit that if I'm called love, sweetie etc it does get my back up, and I would see it as patronising, but then again I'm highly neurotic, so its probably just me!

and being from the west country I often forget to act 'normal' and say "y'alright my luverrrrr?"

mmm I don't mind love so much, it's used a lot in the city where I study, but in my home town, it's a lot of 'right boy' (pronounced bai), 'well lad', like', 'hi'... etc! As in: 'well bai, how ya doing bai?', 'I'm doing rightly hi, how 'bout you bai?' :-)

I do think hon and sweetie can be really annoying though but maybe that's cos I'm just not used to hearing it much! I wouldn't worry about it too much, the barman probably just thought you were flirting with him! ;-)

Depends what the custom is where you live I think - I grew up in the northwest where 'luv' was just a part of everyday speech. I know too in Newcastle they say pet a lot, and mean absolutely nothing patronising by it.

I do it a lot when I go back to where I grew up, I don't tend to use it away from there as the people I mix with here are a lot different and would probably look at me gone out if I did!

It doesn't bother me in the slightest if people call me anything like that to be honest. I find it a little endearing, if anything.

I'm a northwesterner, and where I live, and am from, mature women (and men, I guess) do it. I suppose I'm entering that bracket! My friends and I sometimes call each other 'queen', like 'all right queen' or 'eiiieeeah queen', it's, traditionally, what proper grown up women do in the city where I live, so we started that almost as a joke when approaching middle age.

I really like it when people call me love, in the right context. I'm not sure how I'd feel if my sup did it...

Lol, its not something that bothers me much, but I know it does bother some people - my ex hated people he didn't know calling him 'mate' - although he'd never say anything. I'm used to being called love, honey etc, it really doesn't phase me at all and I don't see it as patronising, I'd actually far prefer that to be called 'miss' or whatever lol. My friends and I use 'hon' a lot (sorry Sneaks) but its just a term, a word, a friendly one at that :-) I wouldn't say it to someone I didn't know lmao - and I had to laugh at calling the barman darling ;-) although its probably something I'd have done after a night out! My grandparents are from the north east and it always makes me laugh when they call me pet or lamb.... it used to confuse me terribly as a child lol lol lol, I'm from the south east and we don't use it, far more hons and sweeties down here :-)

I wouldn't mind the occasional hon/sweetie when low and down. However, in principle, I dont like these! I cant say it myself, it's like my lips are jammed shut. I have a friend who intersperses every sentence with sweetie or honey and I am getting a teensy cavity tbh... but I like her otherwise.

As for calling unknown people love... Hmm. I wouldn't like hearing it, but that's just me.

Lol Bug at the cavity ;-) I just remembered, there are times that I do hate this - most notably with cabbies and market tradesmen when they call you darlin' in that cockney way that half of them do - grrrrr - then I do feel the urge to say, I'm NOT your darling, just give me my apples (or similar).

Cabbie reminds me. Last week I had to catch an indecently early flight from LHR so I needed a black cab from my place to Paddington for the Heathrow Express. Cabbie went on about 'I'll drive first for a pretty girl like you' or 'darling, I can take you all the way to Heathrow for the same price as the the heathrow express ticket'

I was feeling amused first, then irritated and eventually a little weird...

======= Date Modified 02 Jun 2010 22:18:46 =======
Cabbie reminds me. Last week I had to catch an indecently early flight from LHR so I needed a black cab from my place to Paddington for the Heathrow Express. Cabbie went on about 'I'll drive fast for a pretty girl like you' or 'darling, I can take you all the way to Heathrow for the same price as the the heathrow express ticket'

I was feeling amused first, then irritated and eventually a little weird...

======= Date Modified 02 Jun 2010 22:18:13 =======
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