Hello,

This is the first time I’ve posted for advice on here but I have been lurking for quite a while! I started my PhD in October (neuroscience) and I’m really struggling. The subject area is quite removed from my undergraduate course and I’ve had 2 years out working in another unrelated area. I’ve also never done any lab work before. I started about 5 weeks ago and quite honestly I have no clue. I’m in the lab most days to learn techniques, I’m very nervous of the lab work and am paranoid about cocking it all up! I did some reading but am finding the subject really hard to get my head round especially at a molecular and neurocircuitry level. My supervisor is a lovely guy and got me some papers to read to start me off when I first mentioned I was lost, unfortunately they are proving very hard to get my head round. I’m terrified of my supervisor talking to me about anything as I don’t feel I have sufficient knowledge to actually have a conversation about the topic in detail.

I also am finding the lack of structure difficult, I think possible coming from a work environment where I had tight deadlines, I feel quite aimless and quite like I’m drowning but no one apart from me knows. I have no idea what to do and am seriously considering leaving before I’m too far in. Does anyone have any words of wisdom or similar experiences that have improved and if so how did you make them improve.

Many Thanks.

Walrus

Hi Walrus, Firstly - you are 5 weeks in - it is very early days and these feelings are (as I say in most of my posts) familiar to those studying for a PhD. Try not to worry. In the first instance, you were accepted to do this PhD - so unless it was by some 'fluke' - they want you to do this PhD and are confident you have (or will have) the ability to do it. I wouldn't keep this to yourself, I would talk to your supervisor. Attempt to read the articles and then write him/her an email detailing your concerns. If they are a good supervisor they will understand and take some time out to help you. Good luck.

PS It took me most of my first year to really get 'into' my PhD. I have now submitted and awaiting my viva.

I think your feelings are completely normal. It has always taken me several months to really get into a rhythm in a new job, and the PhD is more like a job than a course. I think it is a good sign that you recognise that you have things still to learn.

And, take it from the master - don't worry about cocking up experiments. No-one's cocked up more than me and it's the best way to learn.

Ditto everyone else. I think reading is a great way to boost your confidence and generate some ideas/momentum. If the papers you mention are hard going, try some of their references to see if they are a better read. Anyway, don't worry too much at this stage, i felt like a fraud for months before I settled into the research!

Thank you everyone. It's good to hear from others who have felt a similar way! I do appreciate how early it is and maybe I just have to chill out a bit. Unfortunatly I find the whole thing so terrifying that's easier said than done. I really need to get my backside in gear and focus on the reading, I seem to have groundto a halt already and am finding it easier to do nothing than get on with things. I also have just moved to London for this and the city life is not really agreeing with me either, hopefully that will improve. As for the experiments in my team it is the responsibility of hte first year PhD student to run the radioimmunoassays and apparently last year the student left out a crucial step by mistake and lost some important results another team member was waiting for! I don't mind messing my own stuff up but when it's other people's it's a bit scary. Thank you for all of your comments, will try an dplough on with some reading!

at the early stage, fear and worries are unavoidable. just believe that you can make it with the time goes. no worries.

I messed up results that a lot of people were waiting for. I still worry about doing it again; it is human to want to do well. But it is not the end of the world if people have to wait for you to re-do something: they need to allow you to make mistakes. Don't allow people to put unreasonable expectations on you: if necessary, talk to your supervsior. It does not seem reasonable to me to expect the first yeat student to perform critical analyses (although I had to do that, it nearly drove me insane...and I don't think it was really fair).

Hey Walrus, check out 'the phd game' on www.findaphd.com and Richard Butterworth's 'I did a PhD and did not go mad!'. They'll have you in stitches and make you realise that you're not alone. Hang in there.

？？ the website you gave is right the website this forum is in.