Hello,

I'm sorry, this may be a bit OT, but I think it does kind of directly relate to the Phd. A couple of weeks ago my supervisor advised me to go for a job in the dept as a research officer - great job, perfect for me (or so it seemed), ft which would be a bit of a problem and need some juggling, but generally my kind of dream job.

Well, I got through to the final 5 and had the interview yesterday - omg it was the most awful experience! I've been through a lot of interviews in my time, and some really rough ones, but NOTHING compared to this - it was like being thrown to the lions after having a forced lobotomy whilst being overshadowed by the spirit of the blonde bimbo chav - argghhhhhhhhh. There were so many points at which I just wanted to get up, say this is a bad idea and walk out - but with my sup as one of the interviewers, the grad director who arranges my funding as another it just wasn't possible. I felt so thick, so out of my depth, they were just throwing stuff at me that I had no idea how to answer - v depressing.

Its freaked me out to be honest - are all academic interviews like this? Are they so much more brutal than 'normal' business ones? I feel like any confidence I had has been sucked out of me and spat out, and that I made such an idiot of myself infront of my supervisor that he'll be v disappointed in me :-( The expression on his face at times was a picture - it was like my brain just went off on holiday without warning - and then the classic - you get out, your brain comes back, and everything you 'should' have said comes back and you want to run back in and tell them lol

Has anyone else experienced this type of thing - and how did you cope with the fallout? I've got to meet with my supervisor again on Wed for a class (that I can't do - stats - I don't understand it - blonde bimbo strikes again) and then my sup board on Thurs for another mauling and I'm just worried that as I'll have heard by then that I haven't got the job he'll be v disappointed with me :-(

Thanks xxx

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First, don't think about the outcome since it's over, and also since u don't know yet. I know it's easier said than done.

Second, from what I get you know your field really well, so if you didnt know the answers to stuff they asked maybe they were being tough on purpose, and maybe everyone had the same experience. It's probably just a case of their using a very very fine sieve through which to pass people so that they end up giving everyone only 2, 5, 7 and 11 out of 100 marks, and so the one who gets 11 gets in.

Third, I know when you have a supervisor you admire/respect etc, and who is supportive, it's so easy to feel like you'll be letting them down. trust me, I have similar worries! But, in the end, it is a first year student competing for a post where she was probably one of the least experienced, in terms of scholarship as well as work. So, sensible people wont be sitting in judgment, and if your sup is a warm and helpful person, and a good scholar, then from what I see of my sup, they wont judge you in any way at all.

Feel truly positive and think of the things ahead of you :)

Good advice from PHD BUG. I felt exactly the same after my mock viva. Its hard to develop a thick skin. They've probably forgotten about it but I haven't.

Speak to your colleagues in the week and ask them how it was for them and why you thought they were particularly brutal. Brutality doesn't usually bring out the best in people.

I'm sorry, it sounds a completely vile experience and I'm not surprised it's dented your confidence. You might not have been as bad as you think though - I heard about someone's viva recently where the team were really brutal in their examining 'technique', but at the end actually congratulated the candidate on a good thesis and passed it. I find it all a bit weird, but it shows that however you think you came across, it may not have seemed like that to others.

Also, try not to put yourself down with the shadow of the blonde bimbo chav thing, you're doing a PhD and as Bug says, you've already shown that you're really good at what you do. You're definitely not thick because you don't understand statistics, why should we all be instantly good at everything? I'd guess that you're great at writing and analysis that a statistician might find extremely difficult, as we all have different strengths and weaknesses, but there's nothing wrong with that. I'd agree with the others that it would be good to talk to your sup about it at some point, and also mention that you're having trouble with the stats, it's not a weakness to admit that some bits of what you're doing are more difficult than others - they just need more effort to get to grips with. Hopefully this is just a horrible blip and soon you'll get back to the research that you really like doing and are good at!

Thankyou everyone :-) You've made me feel a lot better, I'm just so cross with myself for certainly appearing to blow it! I am so frustrated! But yes, I have to keep in my mind that I can do what I do, and that its not the end of the world and they may shock me (it wouldn't be the first time) but I guess my interviewing technique is a bit rusty (to say the least)

As far as the stats go - lol - my sup knows all too well, he takes the course!!!! Because a lot of my Phd analysis will be number crunching by nature he felt that although I can easily press buttons on excel (did that quite successfully for the BA and MA dissertations) its important to understand exactly what is going on and he wanted me to take this MA course this year. I just find it all sooooo hard - I have a form of number dyslexia - like the normal type, but it happens with me with numbers, I have 'issues' lol. He is being very good with me, but he is as aware as I am that he's banging his head on a brick wall with this (and the desk last wednesday) lol. Fortunately its a small class with just 3 of us, one is very good at it and me and the other guy sit there looking bemused for the 2 hours. Its when it comes to equations that I just cannot 'get it'. Never could - although I have maths and physics O levels I never really got it then - I've never understood it at all - it just confuses me - I'm far happier writing and analysing data and excel is my friend!

Oh well, I'll have to wait and see, I was just quite shocked quite how tough it was - I expected it to be, its not like going for a job at the local corner shop (and they can be tough enough), but it was the biggest panel I've faced and because I think I was nervous they'd ask 'thinking about this, tell us about this, and this and how you'd approach that if you came across this and this and the problems you could forsee with that and that' - by the time I started with my mind blank I'd forgotten everything else that they'd asked!!!

There was also the issue with the Phd - the project director is concerned that working ft and doing the pt phd would be too much for me....

That would be an issue with working FT and doing the PhD, they have a point. However interesting it is, it really does divert you from your own research and if you're being paid it has to take priority.

I'm like that with numbers too, I just glaze over when I have to do stuff with figures - I really hate it! I only passed my O level because my younger brother coached me, lol! Good luck with it - I sympathise!

======= Date Modified 04 Feb 2009 11:27:44 =======
Stressed, I know exactly what you mean! I had the most terrible interview last year - it was nothing less than brutal, and I still cringe now when I think about it. The main problem laid in the fact the panel questioned me in detail about their own research areas, and literally paid lip-service to my research and subject area. Now while I can understand they were trying to test my knowledge, the subject area is so huge that it would be impossible to know the details of every niche area.

I think you have to philosophical about these types of experiences...you win some, you lose some, but it's always a learning experience.