I am going to be seeing one of my supervisors for the final time before I submit my revised thesis. My experience with this supervisor has been wrought with emotions. She is wellkonwn and very professional and recently became HoD at a
UK top department in my area. So it does mean a lot to me that she will come down to see me and discuss her views on my current draft. However, I also don't trust her as had she refused to supervise me anymore last year when I had submitted for the first time. I was rushed into submission and being an oversees student, I have to work twice harder to work on my language and also meet the deadlines. It's a lot of pressure. As a result, I have little trust in her at the Moment but at the same time, still need her to write me job refernces. But the problem is I am not sure if she likes me enough to get me a job. I think PhD is already a big ask for her in her mindset and that probably, accodring to her, i should give up after PhD. But I am not sure how accurate I feel about her at all. As a result, I really want to take this opportunity coming in our next meeting, to ask her if she will write me a supportive reference letter since she knows me for so long ! How do I ask without offending her and jeopardizing my chances of getting my thesis, one final time, read by her. What are good academic practices to follow in order to get an honest response from her.

She won't 'get you a job'- that's not how the market works (anymore at least). If you get a job, it will be because you posess qualities that an employer is looking for; if you do not get the job... it's because you don't.

Of course she can't get me a job but she can definitely further ruin whatever little chance I got by writing a poor reference letter. I want to be safe than sorry and ask her honestly if she likes my research and can write positively about positions I am interested in applying. It's political, as you know, with jobs so scarce, she has her favorites and wants them to do better before I get there. But at least the are some jobs the tony will fit my profile and it is for those jobs the fi need her support considering her reputation.

In the past, I got my academic references up front (rather than having the person send the reference directly to the employer) so I knew exactly what was in them before I sent them to anyone. Is it possible you could just ask her for a reference and ask if you can have it so that you can send it to prospective employers? That way, you don't need to have a difficult conversation about what she thinks of you - you are just asking for a reference and keeping the conversation positive.

Of course, references are increasingly requested automatically.

And if you have had a problem relationship with her over the last 3 ~ 6 years, it's probably a bit to resolve late now...

@Chickpea-that sounds like a good idea. Is it okay to send you a PM so you can sort my official and professional language to request this letter? At the end of the day, with the growing tightening immigration for non-UK applying for UK jobs, I really am concerned that I am loosing out on jobs that really suit my profile but I can't get those withiut strong reference letters. It is a cultural proglem. I might get a UK PhD, but, I might not be able to cut through the job market purely because I might seem to be unprofessional because of a different cultural background.
The employers might invite me for interview but the refernces might fail me! I apply for jobs every week and anytime, I might get lucky and really don't want reference letters to let me down. Your assistance would be highly appreciated.

Yes, that's fine - PM me your request letter and I'll have a look at it.

I don't know whether this might reassure you a bit, but increasingly the reference letters I write for former students are requested after the person has been offered the job, and seem to function more as a confirmation of qualifications etc. That's for non-academic jobs, but even for academic jobs, references are rarely requested before someone is short-listed, simply because it's easier to contact the referees for 5 people, than it is for everyone. In other words the reference letter might not be as big a deal as you think.

Bewildered- I can totally see your point. That is how it should be in reality. Only names of recommenders should be allowed during initial screening and used only when the employers feel they need it as an extra validation process. But, sometimes, it goes beyond this. Like in the U.S., letters of reference for jobs should be submitted along with the job application! That totally ruins everything for me because right now, there is just no way I am in a position to feel confident about my supervisors but the dilemma is you have to apply a year in advance for positions starting next year.