So I am in my last year (6th), before I had 0 (zero) publications. Now I am gonna publish like 4 big papers.

Cause of my bad record, and those wasted years, I had very little motivation and I exposed myself very little to the world. I haven't gone to any conference in 2,5 years!!!.

However, the scientific contributions of my papers are quite important on my field (physics) and are a step forward in many other similar fields.

My institution is quite important and well-known. My supervisor is fairly known however I am his first grad student, he his quite young.

What I would like to ask you, is about realism of my career future.

Since I have been exposed so little (my research never included collaborators, just me and my supervisor) to the community, I didn't feel like applying last year, and I was considering to leave Academia. However, I was very scared that I wouldn't even manage to write my thesis as I had very little progress. That all changed when after trying many things I found a scientific breakthrough in what I am working and gotten quite important results. My supervisor is encouraging me to stay in Academia, he says that I should at least try a postdoc.

But applying off-season is tough, and he doesn't seems to be helpful in finding jobs. He said he would give me an awesome recommendation letter, but due my lack of contacts my other 2 letters would be very superficial, by 2 members of my PhD comitee.

So my question is, yeah, I may get a postdoc somewhere in the world (I don't think it would be in a top institution thou), but it is worth of trying?. I feel that I am in a stage I should have been 3+ years ago. Now I have to start from zero again, going somewhere else, building my career from scratch, etc. It seems that at this rate I would be able to apply for permanent positions in a long, long time, and the anxiety that I have accumulated all these years of being poor and isolated is making me consider that I would better be off of Academia, as the idea I have of successful academics is of people that know how to do networking, and people who were publishing papers an giving presentations at quite young age. I am pushing 30 and I am very burnt out. I would say I am a reasearch late bloomer.

I do think I have the skills to do all the networking and presentations I need, and I do have some good analytical skills, but I have been trough such a bad long time (3+ years feeling down, unsuccessful, stressed) that I tend to see my future very pessimistic, like never finding a TT and so. I am gonna get my PhD for sure, but I am quite tired to feel always worried about getting a permanent job. My personality has been quite linked to my research, now I am quite happy, but I have been depressed longer than I have been happy.

Is it realistic to build a career being absent from the field from so long?, should I leave?.
I do love what I do, but I hate being poor, careerless, and not being able to do other stuff in my life.

hi there. First of all congratulations on your scientific breakthrough. I can understand what you mean by being in your 6th year and not having any publications (before now). About the realism of your career future: either way you do it, you'd still have to start from scratch, you'd still have to network and do presentations (even in careers off of academia), you'd still have to start again somewhere. Its good to acknowledge that you have good analytical skills and yes the past three years have been very hard on you. But skills for networking and presentations, these can be acquired and mastered. You've just had a rough time. Things will look up. You say you're pushing 30 and feel burnt out. Its never too late, no age is ever too late for research.

You say you love what you do but you hate being poor, careerless and not being able to do other stuff in your life. Well, here's the thing: actually, you CAN have your cake and eat it. Perhaps you can take some time to think about what you want and take some time to reinvent yourself. With positive thinking and affirmations, you will be able to attract money, resources, harmonious personal relationships and you will be able to have time to do all the things you've always wanted to do. It is not impossible. Only now you are going through a rough time, things will get better.

Personally I've been through poor self-esteem, periods of uncertainty, frustration (because my results couldnt be published etc.), depression, I think most people go through this. Sharing with you, I started my first degree at the age of 31. Some fellow students who happened to be policemen doing their bachelor degree in the same school asked me, "what is your profession". I said, "I'm a housewife". They laughed at me, "what do you need a degree for? You better go back to your kitchen". I felt so bad when I saw them laughing. Today, I am doing my PhD in UK on a full scholarship..and where are these men? ... still policemen at home. I believe I have risen higher.

See, it's not how hard we fall, but rather how we pick ourselves up.

Learn to let go, learn not to worry. just tell yourself you can do it, and surround yourself with positive people.

The answer will come to you. Remember to listen with your heart.

Cheers, satchi

Wow satchi - I loved your post! Thank you as your response also applied to me and has helped cheer me up!