Hi guys, I'm a newbie here so not sure if this kind of thing has been posted before. I'm due to submit my thesis in September (because of the university's "4 year rule"). That is ok (I think), as I've nearly written 2 of 3 results chapters, plus my Materials and Methods chapter. I wrote a literature review in first year so that just needs updated and expanded slightly. My problem is that 5 years ago I was diagnosed with a serious mental illness. It hasn't really bothered me or affected my progress up until now. However, last week I felt so down and depressed about my PhD that I seriously considered taking my life. It totally freaked me out and made me reconsider whether the PhD is really for me. I'm still collecting results for my final results chapter, and I think the stress of writing and experimenting at the same time just totally got to me. I think if this is how I react now, what would I be like at the viva? So I'm thinking of submitting what I have now and getting a Masters. Is there anyone out there who's been in a similar situation? I realise the final decision on what I do is mine, but any advice from fellow PhD'ers would be much appreciated.

I should add that I'm on a 4-year PhD programme and this is my 2nd attempt at a PhD. I left the last one when I was diagnosed with the illness.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation and the stress it is putting you under.

I would suggest that you don't make any hasty decisions regarding not completing your PhD. When was the last time you had some time off? It might be a good idea to take a week or two off, do something relaxing, and then give some thought to the issues.

Have you spoken to your supervisor about any of this? Or a graduate tutor/welfare officer at the university? Getting advice from at least one of these people would probably be wise. They may even be able to arrange an extension for you, given your circumstances, which would take the pressure off. It also would be entirely reasonable to get some counselling support as well. You are not the first person for whom a PhD has caused mental strain and if you talk to other grad students you might find a lot of empathy.

Whatever you do, try to break it all down into small manageable chunks. There's no point in worrying about the viva yet - when you get to that point you will have had a break from the actual construction of your thesis and will have a lot more knowledge and understanding under your belt.

Thanks for your reply Hazyjane. My supervisor knows of my mental health issues, and I've told him I'll be taking at least this week off (I haven't been in since the incident last week). I'll look into student counselling at my university and hopefully they'll be able to help.

I haven't really taken any holidays since last year. It's been constant lab work since August last year so that's probably contributed to my situation now that I think of it. Maybe a trip to the relatives in Canada will do me the world of good.

Thanks again for your help.

There is no knowing your situation in any detail through this forum but I have been in a similar position. This was also my second bite at the cherry with a 15 year gap. I had a breakdown the first time. I had a very bad spell during my first year this time (my mother died, I nursed her at home). Stress is definitley a factor and of course PhDs are stressful. I just had my viva though and got through. It was stressfull - more than my examiners realised. But the viva is a very different stress to the long haul stress of finishing the PhD. I wouldn't assume the viva will be especially stressful - even though mine was very tough it's only a few short hours and then the stress is gone.

Do get some counselling either through your student services or your gp. I don't know what your situation is with regard to medication but you might want to consider that if things get any worse.

I was diagnosed with anxiety last year, possibly a result of drugs I have to take to control/slow down a progressive neurological disease. Or maybe it's a consequence of the brain disease itself. In any event I find the PhD hard to cope with at times. However I've managed by giving myself breathing time, using all the time I'm allowed (I'm a part-timer so am working on a 6 year schedule), and taking a medical break in the middle. I do wonder if it would be worth you negotiating an extension, just in case? It would give you extra breathing space, but you needn't use it of course.

I'd definitely recommend speaking to a counsellor. I even ended up talking to the university chaplain even though I'm agnostic because she was better able to help me cope with the life-threatening situation I was in. There are people at the university who can help you through problems. And perhaps your GP can offer help on the medical side.

I have huge concerns about my viva, not least the memory problems that I have from the brain disease and how much they could impact on my ability to represent myself properly. But I'm trying to be pragmatic about it, take things one small step at a time. Got to finish my thesis first.

Good luck!

I have also suffered from anxiety, been prescribed drugs and seen a counsellor due to my PhD. I did intercalate for a while and that helped. I don't know if there is an answer for this - doing a PhD is stressful.

It might be useful though to try and separate yourself from it, try not to care about it so much. See it as a job, rather than being about 'who you are' This is far easier to say than to do though.

At the end of the day, the sensible advice I suppose would be to look after your health – is doing a PhD really worth this? Take some time off, feel better and pick it up again. Perhaps getting counselling would be the best place to start.

L