Hi Everyone,

I'm new and have joined this forum as I don't know any other Post Graduate students. I sometimes feel a little lonely, as I am self financing, part time undertaking my PhD in the area of English Literature.
My friends think that my choice to do this is really weird, my parents do not even know what a PhD is, and my husband thinks that in this recession with the lack of post doc jobs that i am nuts.
I am 42, and my university is 70 miles away, i work part time 3 days a week to pay for this course, and my two supervisors, hate each other and barley communicate, with one who seems to think that i am beneath his consideration, and who doesn't return my emails, the other spends his time moaning about his home life to me, when i get one hour's supervision time every 8 weeks or so with him.

Any way forgive me for totally rambling, how do you all manage to keep your confidence, and self belief, whilst negotiating the obstacles i'm sure that you also all face??

You are nuts. Seen from the materialistic outside world anyone doing a PhD at present without clear benefits is nuts but like most people on here, it's probably something that really matters to you. There are others out there - you are not alone. (This is presupposing it is still what you really want - if deep down it's not, there's absolutely no disgrace in finding out how to quit with an MPhil or just walking away.) But I think for your sanity you need to meet likeminded people / sufferers to enjoy a whinge and also just as a source of useful information about how things work careerwise. How about attending some departmental research seminars or anything put on for research students - even if they are not at convenient times, if you at least went a couple of times, you could put some names to faces and get emails / phone numbers to try and arrange coffee with others when you do go there for supervision meetings. Or is there a uni nearer to where you live as an alternative networking location? Most advertise their events and don't mind visitors.

Just a couple of other practical thoughts...Could you not ask for a change of supervisor from the one who doesn't respond to any thing? Could you 'invent' a shift in direction away from their expertise and towards someone you've heard better things about, to disengage with the minimum of grief? As you're part-time in humanities, I think the once every 8 weeks supervision with the other supervisor is probably about right, but how about emailing an agenda for meetings just beforehand and then if he rambles you have something to get him back on track with? Hope this helps a little.

Does your uni have a research student advisor? Most do and he/she is worth consulting in a situation like yours. Supervisors have a responsibility to support you through your programme and any failure to do so is the responsibility of the university. It's vitally important that you build a strong relationship with your supervisor/s early on as they are fundamental to your success. If 'Prof High-and-Mighty' can't be bothered to fulfill his/her responsibility to his/her job/you then you should address this quickly. You are the one who will suffer if you don't. talk over your options with the advisor.

Providing your supervisor with a suggested agenda in advance of meetings is an excellent idea as it frames the session. It may also help if you mention what you wish to achieve from the meeting at the beginning.

You're not alone in feeling isolated and 'odd'. I'm a mature Humanities student and there are few people outside my programme who understand why I'm attempting a PhD either. I live 200 miles from my uni so am unable to participate much in uni life, and getting hold of academic texts is difficult (my closest academic library is 40 miles away). I'm divorced and work to pay the bills and it's the financial aspect which I'm finding toughest. My uni has little funding for PhD students and, although I try to undertake temporary contract work in order to have time for research, work is constantly conflicting with my compulsory research development modules and seminars. I received an interview for an internship which would've been really valuable but it would've paid too little for the constraint it would've imposed on my availability to work so I withdrew.

I've estimated that the PhD will cost me at least £60,000 in lost income plus fees and other costs, but despite this, and all the other difficulties, I'm determined to succeed. As a career move, undertaking a PhD can seriously damage your wealth. It's a labour of love which many of us undertake because we're driven to do so. It's a completely alien concept to many people as academia is considered a means to an end (higher paid job) rather than an end in itself, in our consumer-driven, contemporary world.

Your circumstances (and mine) aren't unusual in the postgrad world. It's daunting and difficult, but anything worthwhile is. The bottom line is that we may be considered 'quirky' but who cares what others' think? This is your life and your dream. Whenever I lose heart I ask myself how I will feel when I'm 70 if I give up now. Failing is one thing..... withdrawing is something else.

Do contact your uni and ask to be put in touch with other research students. There will be others who are equally in need of support and contact.

Good luck.

Hi Fennell,

Sorry this is off topic, but do you like fennel seeds? I love them, and they have become bit of an addiction to me!:-)

I think this is quite common. I have spent the last year waiting for supervisors to do their bit, which is very difficult when you can't just go and see them at any old time they might have available and it was only by getting to some student meetings attended by some of the supervisors that I at last managed to get what I hope will be a 'proper' supervisor and some tangible progress on the 'official paperwork' side of things. I don't think many outside the PhD enclave know much of the reality of doing a PhD, and even less about doing it part time. I work full time, but in a school - not a teacher I might add - so in theory I have the holidays, but it doesn't really work out like that as school impinges on that time too, plus the usual family life gets in the way and when there I find myself doing stuff despite having loads of research work to do (this does however provide thinking time which is useful).

I suppose part of the 'part time' problem is that isolation comes as part of that status, here you don't get even a bit of a desk in the postgrad building, you don't get any parking in that area either and have to make do with the undergrad area which is full to bursting, and even if you manage to get a space, there is no guarantee you will be able to get out as they park anywhere they like and forget cars need to turn out and can't be picked up like toys and moved. Also you tend not to meet other students as you are not there when they are (we also can't get into the building out of hours although full timers have a swipe card).

You need to train your supervisors, don't be fobbed off with no replies - this is so easy to do, you wait a week, and then think they will reply in the next week for sure, and the next and so on until you find months have gone by, this is what I found last year when one supervisor moved and the other...well we won't say anthing about that one! nip this in the bud by asking specific questions - too long, too short, do I need to read about the opinion of anybody special? etc. If none is forthcoming within what you consider a suitable time, take it further, they are paid to help you after all, so should do it. for the other one, take a list of things you want to get out of the session, you could e-mail this in advance, suggest it is so that you don't waste their time - even if the reverse is true!

If you have just started there will be loads of reading to do I expect, but also make sure you get something written, get a plan sorted, and have a go at the abstract. It might seem early for this, but it does help, and you can track changes as you progress. Have a look at Clough and Nutbrown's 'methodology' not only for the methodology itself, but for the exercises, it helps focus things. Also look at Dunleavy ' Authoring a PhD' it is well worth a read.

good luck!

From my experience, and others', PhDs mean pretty lonely times! I get awfully lonely, especially seeing as being a new mother I cant go out and socialise after a day's study. I know other students who travel hundreds of miles to get to out PhD training sessions once or twice a week and i admire them for that. basically, what I'm saying is: you're not alone.

I am concerned to hear you feel you're not supported by your supervisor though- it is their job to communicate with you and if this is damaging your work you're certainly within your rights to either subtly mention that you're aware they are busy but that you'd appreciate some feedback. Also, ask them to keep you posted about dates they will be away for conferences/field trips/holidays so you know when they'll be away from the computer. If there's another specialist in your subject area at your Uni consider switching?