Hello everyone,

I'm writing to ask for advice. I've got a PhD scholarship and I'm really keen on a lab in particular. And its PI seems to be interested in taking me. So, what's the problem? This PI is very smart and famous, and he is highly demanding. He has got very smart PhDs and post doc, which are very independent.I alredy had an experience as master in another lab and I'm aware that I am not very smart as the others, but I'm really interested in science, in particular the research that is carried out by this lab!
It could seem crazy: I want this position, and this PI seems to accept me. But I'm not sure I can go there. I already had a little project for one month in his lab and I failed. And he looked disappointed even if he tried to hide it (note: this is my interpretation, he didn't say anything explicitly). Anyway it seems he wants to take me (why?!).
What should I do? If I won't go there I'm sure I will have regrets for all my life, but if I join his lab it's very very likely that I won't be able to face successfully this PhD, and I don't want to get stressed for 4 years thinking that I'm not good enough and I'm just a "burden". Is it maybe better to choose someone less smart/famous? On the other hand I really like this environment, even if it's scary, because I can learn a lot among these amazing people, PI included!

Please I need your advice! I don't know what to do!

Thanks

E.

Hi enzyme,

it is quite common for PhD students to feel they are "being not good enough". Just type "impostor syndrome" :)

I hope you feel better soon and overcome these feelings of inadequacy that hold you back. Recognising a problem is the first step to solve it.

Good luck :)

Why are you too negative, come on i've worked for a company and i didn't know anything about the position that i will take! just by confidence i could be the manager of a part of it! without telling myself if i can do it or not i just tried!
if he didn't tell you anything it means he didn't see problem during your work
trust your self!

Thanks

Dear Enzyme-
If you know how to read and write, you ARE good enough. If you love what they are doing in the lab, you will read, learn, keep up with new methods, learn any aspect of the work related to their research. Eventually, you will be an expert too. Smart people are those who read, read, and read everything about a specific topic , gaining in depth understanding about a certain topic. Good luck, dare to dream big and start reading. You can do anything, if you set your mind!

Can only echo what has already been said. Imposter syndrome is common. The nature of a PhD means that you work exclusively with very bright, motivated people.

I suffered with it before starting my PhD and a year and a bit in I still suffer from it every time I see a peer give a great seminar or they have a really cool poster.

What I need to remember is that my peers probably think exactly the same thing about me when I speak or present a poster.

Even if I've got still HUGE doubts concerning my skills, thank you very much for your advices.
Anyhow, I know myself and, if the PI will still want to accept me, I'll chose to go there and try my best. Sometimes I'm so anxious that I forget that this work is the best in the world because basically I'm paid to have fun!

Hi guys!

I would like to ask you for a second and, really hope, last advice! As I said, I am going to start my PhD and unluckily (!!) the lab which is working on the exciting stuff that I like seems that doesn't want to take me not because I am stupid as I thought but essentialy because I get so anxious when I must speak to the PI that I can't connect the words I'm listening to and I don't understand a fuck of what he's saying! For this same reason at the university all my written exams went fine whereas my oral exams were pure panic attacks! Even during my master project even if all my experiments were working well and my PI was very nice I couldn't speak to him! And even now this PI is quite sensitive, sharp, enthusiastic so I really like him I'm apparently finding the same problem! So it's clear that the problem is in my mind!!! I was thinking that maybe more preparation and experience in the field could help me to overcome this problem, any quicker solutions from experienced people??? I am a bit tired of this story, I just would like to be free to work on the stuff that I like and have fun with my friends in the lab, bloody hell!

Thank you in advance

Good universities usually have researcher training attached to them. Somewhere you should be able to get hold of the timetable for their classes, they often run things like presenting workshops, overcoming anxiety, making the most of supervision etc etc. Also there is nothing wrong with getting together with your friends in the lab and just practising presenting your ideas. You are right it is all in your mind about being nervous speaking with them. It doesn't matter if some people might know more than you. I'd totally expext PI to know way way way more than me otherwise why want them to be your PI? You just need to get over the fact that for the time being you are a student again, no longer at the top of your class but see it like starting school all over again from scratch and make it seem like a new exciting learning experiencce rather than feeling like you're not good enough to be there :D

Thanks, you’re right, I should think that it’s a learning experience! The point is that I know it, and I like it for this reason, I could never do a job which is static! But this awareness doesn’t seem to help!!
I don’t think I need to practise with my friends, because I never have problems to talk about science with them, and if they do it I’ve no problems following the discussion, and I am not blocked to ask questions or explanations.
Just had a flash back this afternoon of my PI who told me the last day that I’ve got the substance but I don’t have the form/performance and I will need to practise a lot…A LOT, A LOOOOOT The main problem in all this story is that I should be able to solve the problem in a couple of months! At the moment I can’t see any solution better than studying more and more.

…My friends advised me to drink a couple of pints before entering his office, maybe it works :-P

I should just image that I'm speaking to a friend about something that I like rather than a Professor who is judging me! I must do it, I will do it and then finally I will be allowed to study what I want!!!!! Yes!

Hello enzyme

Yes, yes! Definitely yes. Please do post what happened after you joined.

Hi! I don't know yet if I can join, my PI will decide, I'm preparing at the moment.Thanks for your support!! I'll let you know how it goes.

I GOT THE PROJECT AND THE MENTOR THAT I WANTED! I FEEL THE LUCKIEST PHD IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congrats, I guess you were good enough ;)