I think I may have overstepped the line with my supervisor, but the problem is I don't know where the line is! I was attempting to have a casual conversation with him (i.e. unrelated to my research), and he didn't respond well. Where are the boundaries in the relationship between sup and student? Is the student expected to be purely formal in their interraction with their sups? Other PhDers I've talked to have a very open relationship with their sups, so I'm not sure what I've done wrong. :(

Looks like he just wants to keep the distance. Might be a good thing not to be too 'pally' with your sup.

Yes, I see your dilemma. I've had this issue before. It's a tricky one with a whole spectrum of answers dependent upon the personality of your sup. Work from his unfavourable response, and maybe endeavour to be a bit more reserved with him for the moment, I think. That way you won't feel embarrassed and sit around worrying about it.

Sounds like he's a bit stuffy to me. We're all grown ups at PhD level; he should treat you like one.

Sounds like a 'how long is a peice of string'? question - everyone is different and whilst some supervisors are really happy to be 'friends' with their students, others want to maintain a professional distance. You haven't done anything wrong as your personality sounds like man - talk to everyone, regardless of status or where they are in relation to you.. after all, what's wrong in a good natter?

Sadly, not all share our viewpoint, therefore learn the type of person your supervisor is and try to remain 'on topic'.

Yes it varies a lot but some keep a professional distance - could be that he has had difficulties in the past with students when he has been more friendly.

You just can't win really. My sup is the reverse. We haven't talked a lot in all but it's easier to talk about non-work stuff by far - I wish he would get more into my actual project - I fell I have no-one to talk to about it.

My sup doesn't really like the casual conversation either - anytime I tried in the past to start one (e.g. where did you go on holiday) he launches into a one-hour history lesson (e.g. complete history of Venice)... my research has nothing to do with History by the way He has to know everything about whatever topic he is talking about, can't just make small talk... needless to say I don't try making idle chit-chat anymore!!!

Hey you don't think supervisors read this forum do you? Think he's too busy for that kind of thing... but you never know!!! Scary thought... Maybe I should change my username to something a bit less identifiable

I just got annoyed with myself--reading my post again, it sounds as though I'm treating my sup like a deity or something. He's just a man! It's strange, I've never paid any attention to 'rank', and have always treated everyone the same.

ROSY ... making fun of me .. OK ... will see who will
laugh at the end ..

Lol you nearly had me for a minute lastsamurai

Anytime ..

I'm familiar with this issue. I tend to be overly friendly with mine and sign my emails with :) and "catch you later". At first I didn't get that good of a response and was getting cold "regards" back but now, every now and then I get a smiley face and even a joke in the supervisors email. I just persisted with my casual style (I can not stand stuffiness)and supervisor adapated

BE YOURSELF!! I spent far too long worrying about how to talk to my sups. I tell them whats going on with me and I don't care if they want to hear it or not. Occasionally I get little bits back but as a rule they are quite 'professional'. It no longer bothers me its their prob. if they don't take an opportunity to maybe share something about themselves. To thine own self be true

Like most people have said, depends on the supervisor and student!

Some academics have social problems (as do non-academics) so that doesn't help.

Mine are quite good, I invited all 3 to my wedding, 2 came (3rd couldnt make it).

I've probably spend more time with my industrial supervisor due to my placement and he's the opposite of formal and is always joking about.