Hey there! Just wondering if bullying is a common occurence among students and how those of you who experienced it dealt with it? I'm a first year PhD student at a small lab. I get along great with most people except the few students in my field of study which is a real bummer as it foils most attempts for creative discussions, asking for advice (which I really need at this time), sharing papers, etc. This small clique of people has excluded from the start from any project meetings or brainstorming sessions they've had between them, field trips, etc. They also ignore most of my emails and act like I'm just thin air... Is it competition, do I need to prove myself to them before they acknowledge/respect me or are they just pure $%&$*? I'm not sure who else to turn to for help with regards to some of the technical stuff I need to do... Any advice? How should I handle them and the situation? Your input would really be appreciated!!! :)

Perhaps I should add these people are into their 2nd to 4th year and one is a young and fairly new researcher at the institute.

This is really tricky to deal with. If the "bullies" were more overt (i.e. physically beating you or trashing your experiments) it would be easier to draw attention to. However, the subtle ostracising is still bullying but it is harder to do anything about it. Sometimes this is actively fostered by the institution, especially those that are quite snobbish/ use divide and rule tactics to maintain the status quo.

First ask "If they behave this way, do I really want to hang around this group?". Perhaps it may be even worse if they invite you into their little circle only to use you as their "whipping post".

Secondly, look around for other students or academics in your dept that arent in the clique. You say you get on great with everyone else, so use those people. Talk about it to your supervisor (if you can). I found making friends in other departments really helpful as you get a lot of cross pollination of ideas between disciplines.

Whatever you do, dont take it personally. As can be seen from this board, and the constant struggling there are a lot of insecure or anxious or bitter PhD students/ post docs (me being one of them), and its too easy to get swept up in "It must be something odd about me" rather than maintain that "This situation is screwed up".

It may be that only one of them is the real bully and the others are just weak and easily influenced. It may be that over time, you can figure out if that is the case. I had a similar experience when I started work - the other two people in the lab barely spoke to me and never included me, but were not actually unpleasant. But I kept on trying to talk to them (little other choice, we were stuck in the same room) and eventually they opened up. I think now it was lack of people skills rather than anything else, and I got on with them quite well in the end - still friends with one of them.

hey badhaircut and juno! Thanks for the advice! Yeah, I definitely think cultivating friendships with the rest of people inside and outside our department is important. I don't know about "taming"them into being more approachable as I've been trying for months and lately, they made it pretty clear they don't like me. The topic ( their bad attitude) did surface with my director and once I made clear how I felt, his idea of solving the situation was to go and "scold" them - and mentioning to them what I had told him. Needless to say, this made things worse.

I'll manage, but not being able to benefit from direct help is slowing my progress.

Not great advice from your director; most bullies refuse to acknowledge that they have a problem.

Are there likely to be new people soon that you could make friends with?

we'll might get some newcomers next year. And there's lots of people from other departments I don't know very well...

Has anyone ever had anything stolen from their shared desk area before?

As an undergrad, then yes. Sad to say but in this day and age, if you leave it, you lose it.

so far, no, fortunately!

I've had a textbook stolen from my desk I cant beleive that someone in my own office would do this. I spoke to a postdoc and was told that laptops had also been stolen from the office. Now all the time im thinking about who could be stealing from me and am wary about leaving my stuff there eben though I have to. Any suggestions?

reseach on your own, ignore them.

I'm not sure what you are like normally, but you may have to assert yourself/stand up to them if you need them for help. If like me you struggle, you could try a confidence/assertiveness course.
At least they haven't done anything overtly bad..more indirect. It might be that you can't do anything and need to find other sources of help/just get help from unpleasant people....?