Hi there

Recently I have been thinking about having a baby quite a lot but since I have no idea how it works in academia I thought I might ask for some advice. Basically - I'm happily married, I'm (some may say - only) 25 years old but I've been with my hubby for a long time and we feel we're ready. Of course I can wait until I finish my PhD (I am on my second year now) but the thing is that I'm looking for the best and 'most convenient' time to get pregnant. Since I'm working in social sciences I spend majority of time at home, I don't need to work in the labs or anything like that. I have already started my data collection so I should be done with it within the next 6 months or so as well. I definitely want to have a baby before I'm 29 so I was wondering if it's a better idea to have a baby on the last year of my PhD (I am funded and can apply for up to 6 months of paid maternity leave - however, I am considering taking less time out - since I can work at home and have flexibility to balance my working hours). Another option is to secure a full-time position at the university after having my PhD and then to get pregnant. To be honest I feel like I won't feel I'm doing the right thing when applying for a job and knowing that I want to take time off anytime soon - I want to be fair to uni. I also have an impression that it may actually be easier for me to have a kid while having a PhD which is more flexible and where I have more control over my own time. It also seems to me that taking care of a newborn will get more difficult/complicated while working full-time at uni. Will anyone share their opinions? :)

Hi Annabelle,

I had my daughter during my phd, partly for all of the reasons that you state (flexibility; less disruptive to take time off during phd than at start of academic career; decent maternity paid from research council), and also because I was a lot older than you and needed to get on with it. It worked very well for me, and as you say, it was easier being a phd student parent than balancing parenting with a full-time job. I took six months off, and I don't think that it has damaged my long term career prospects at all. My advice would be to do some research on the cost of childcare (c.£1000 per month here in London for full time care) - don't assume that you will be able to work productively with a baby / toddler at home!

There is never a 'right' time to have a kid as a woman. If you feel ready to have children, start having children.

Will this impact a career in Academia? Absolutely. Academia, like any other type of industry, is largely a man's game. You will still come up against the same obstacles that other women face once getting pregnant but many women in academia do have children and are successful in maintaining their careers.

There's no real right way to start to ensure security because unfortunately, the nature of having children today is still considered a liability for many businesses working withing a sexist model of employment practice.

It's nice to see that I'm not the only one in this boat! This is something I've been thinking a lot about! I'm 25, been with my husband for years and we were planning on starting a family next year. The organisation I work for full time at the moment would be very supportive but a PhD opportunity came up that was too good to pass up on. I've applied but feel like I have to put a family on hold until I'm finished at 29. If I get onto the PhD it's funded and it's in social sciences too so I'm in the same position, Annebelle!

I don't have any words of wisdom but just thought I'd let you know you're not alone! There's never going to a perfect time for us ladies to have kids though!

Well don't ever let a little thing like that get in your way! :p ;)

Afraid I can't provide any advice either but I do echo annabelle9090 and jennypenny's thoughts! I came onto the forum to ask a similar(ish) sort of question so I'm glad to see I'm not the only one worrying about these things.

I'm a 2nd-year PhD in humanities and just turned 29. Not in a massive hurry to start a family but aware that we can't wait forever. I had no idea that some funding packages allowed for maternity leave! I'm fairly sure mine doesn't :( I also know that my (male) co-supervisor is very against babies and PhD mixing...

For people who had babies during the PhD - was there a specific stage of your PhD that made it easier? I was thinking of starting to try for a baby during the final stages of write-up but am worried about the impact of morning sickness or 'pregnancy brain' on doing a viva or trying to revise/resubmit. I also worry about getting a job with the intention of then taking time off - it feels dishonest but practical for financial reasons.

Sorry, I'm really not trying to hijack the thread - I hope my questions (and answers) will be useful to the OP.

Dear, I had my twins in the last year of my PhD. My supervisor and the dean are great ladies. They gave me an extention for one year. I am preparing for my defence now with my twins running around me. I think it is the greatest feelings you may have.

I have a 6 month old who was born at the end of my second year. I have taken 9 months off and will return part-time as I am not prepared to put him in childcare full time. I am 30 and been with my husband a long time, and I have health issues so we decided not to wait any longer. I had a difficult pregnancy however I got through it, and did a lot of work in the lead up to taking time off. All I have left is analysing and writing up as my lab work is all complete. For me, writing was the hardest as I just felt like I could not concentrate (baby brain if you will!) but this is not the case for everybody and you won't know how you handle pregnancy until you do it. Honestly there really is no right time, if its what you want then go for it, the rest will fall into place.

This is something I've been thinking about alot. I'm in my early thirties and in my first postdoc position in the humanities. We've been together for over a decade and have always wanted children but been putting it off for career reasons. But now we've got to the point where I think it doesn't make sense to put it off for a career that there is no guarantee I'll have. I'm a relatively strong candidate for a permanent job, but I might well never get one and if I wait until I do get one, if I do, and then wait a year or two to be settled into the job, another five years will probably have gone by. I could also spend another 5 years on short term contracts. Who knows. Certainly I think there is no 'good time' careerwise and so will not be putting it off much longer. I guess you have to figure out your personal priorities: I put children ahead of a job that I might never get! Good luck everyone making these difficult decisions.

I've been in the same position. I got pregnant in my second year and took 10 months of ML. I thought I would only take 6 months (which was paid with my studentship) but I found it took quite a while for things to settle down with my little one sleeping and eating, getting settled into childcare etc. I tried to write as much as I could before going on ML but I think there is a culture of writing up mainly in your third (& unpaid fourth year) in terms of getting feedback etc. Overall, there have been positives and negatives - I have found writing up very tough indeed. I am a hardworker, very disciplined etc but it's just very tiring with a newborn/toddler. I didn't think about my little one getting poorly all the time when starting childcare etc. My stipend ran out as I was working part time so I've been paying for childcare whilst not being paid which has put pressure on me writing up. The positives have been the flexibility - I don't have to rush out the door as I work from home. If my little one is ill I can stay at home without needing to explain to anyone etc. I can look a total mess and no-one knows :) I wouldn't change what I've done for the world as I love being a mum but I have seen the challenges I've faced compared to my other mum friends who have a more stable working situation.

Here are some things that have helped me - (1) I did some associate work and paid NICs for being self-employed before getting pregnant. This entitled me to maternity allowance as well as my stipend. Look up the finer details on the gov website. There are a certain number of weeks you have to be self-employed to do this to qualify. (2) I wish I had planned I would need more than 6 months off for ML and (3) that I had accepted that most people run into a fourth year for writing up, then I would have budgetted better. I also wish (4) I had applied for job seakers allowance as soon as my stipend ran out. I have never applied for benefits etc before and felt too uncompfortable to apply for JSA, but I have found that the financial pressure to finish and find work has put a huge pressure on us as a family and on my writing up.

These are, of course, only my experiences and everyone and every PhD is different. I found that I couldn't wait to have a baby, I think you just have to follow your heart.

I had twins a year into my PhD and it really has made things a lot harder. Five years on, I haven't finished! Maybe I am just really bad at juggling motherhood and studying but the first few years were really hard - couldn't afford much childcare, broken nights, no family nearby. It all depends on finance in the end - if you can afford decent childcare or have help nearby it is a lot easier.

Part of my problem was also that I had to go back to work too - and I had three hours of commute to get there. There was no way I could study at night as I was always shattered.

timefortea you don't sound bad at juggling to me, you sound pretty amazing!

Bella I absolutely agree with you - timefortea your time management sounds amazing;-)

Thanks for all the replies, it's nice to hear that there are people in a similar situation to mine and those who have already been through that! I guess it will never be an easy decision but I just feel that when I finish my PhD I will be looking for other jobs, once I have a job I will try to settle in, show them how good I am, etc etc and will end up not having children at all - there's never a good time haha;-) Just as fbbp has said!

Nesrine I'm also thinking about final stages... Seems easiest to organize for me. But... how can I know 9 months in advance that I will finish writing up in these 9 months and it will not take me more than 3 years to complete my PhD!? Decisions, decisions;-)

Hi, I think it may be OK if you were at the stage where you had collected all your data, completed all your studies but still had 1 year of funding left (so that you can benefit from a paid maternity leave).

However, in all honesty I think it is far too risky when doing a PhD. You have no idea what type of baby you will have and there is absolutely no way you could work on your PhD whilst you have a toddler or even a baby around. Yes, you might get 1 or 2 hours here and there, but trust me, you will need normal childcare then.

Personally, I wouldn't recommend it. I know someone who planned to take 6 months maternity leave but had to take another further year as the baby never slept! And there are increasingly plenty of babies out there like that.

If you do plan to do it though, look into childcare properly, find a nursery that you feel comfortable with and can envisage leaving a 6 month old in, and work out whether it will work financially too.

Best of luck :)