I'm just wondering how compatible is courting someone the traditional Christian way while doing a PhD away from home. For those unfamiliar with Christian culture, courtship is the process of getting to know someone at an in-depth level (excluding all physical contact) and building commitment, during 1-2 years with marriage as the ultimate goal. I know someone who's 3 years into the process with her bf in the US and has just started her 3-year PhD in the UK, but I would really like to court her myself (I'm 2nd year PhD, non-American, non-British and non-Christian)!

Umm... I don't know how happy her bf would be about that..

Well if both parties are in agreement with the christian courting process then surely it shouldn't really be a problem?

Mmm I am christian.. I think I have done a few things wrong

Oh bugger i completely misread that and got the wrong end of the stick there I'll shut up lol.

If she is a christian and into this courting manner and you are not then there could be a bit of a clash.. unless she is a saucy minx underneath it all.

Wow, that sounds rather strict to me, obviously Christians in the UK play it a bit differently!
But if this girl browses this forum isn't she going to know that you're talking about her, I can't imagine there are too many people who fit that bill!?!

I don't have any belief, but when she told me about how Christians approach marriage it made complete sense to me from a "rational-scientific" point of view, I mean, to know that there's someone you trust and love waiting for you when you finish your PhD, that's pretty cool! In the meantime, the bf is gonna work and save some money. Cool. And, no, she's no minx, and she's not the kind of person to waste time online (she does a proper science PhD, while I do management). How do Christians go about in the UK? I'm very interested since I'm here.

Oh yeah, and she knows about my interest anyway, as I was stupid enough to let her know about it sometime ago. I mean, if in order to find a person with such a profile I need to become a Christian during the PhD, I'll do it. However I'm thinking that maybe her case is just an exception.

a) if she knows that you're interested, then I'd rule out courting her because she's obviously not that into you

b) you don't have to be Christian to believe in certain rules of courtship (such as NSBM) and different Christians will have different views of what they believe correct courtship to be.

If you want to bag yourself a Christian, join the local university group (but that will be a problem if you don't believe yourself - I certainly wouldn't advocate adopting any religious beliefs in pursuit of a lady).

To SixKitten:

You wrote:

>a) if she knows that you're interested, then I'd rule out courting >her because she's obviously not that into you

I'm afraid I didn't get your point, especially the "not that into you part". Can you please elaborate? And, like, what is the alternative to courting her? I can only think of remaining a friend and waiting to see if she ever breaks up with her bf and only then making my move.

You wrote:

>b) you don't have to be Christian to believe in certain rules of >courtship (such as NSBM) and different Christians will have >different views of what they believe correct courtship to be.

You're right. Muslims too believe in NSBM (to quote an example). So do I. But I would never consider converting to Islam in order to get a girl. I mean, that would be far too extreme and dangerous given ther current world situation.

To SixKitten (continuation):

Actually, I joined the University Christian Society when I started the PhD, although never intending to get a girl, but the lots of delicious free food they offered at their alcohol-free parties . However, I kept on going because I met such nice, well-behaved and intelligent people who believed in Christ and all that stuff. And then I met that young girl who stole my heart and brain. I mean, I completely accept the behaviour rules of Christians --because I've always practiced them myself--but I can't buy the part of Jesus Christ, the Bible and all these things (as a PhD student, I'm a natural sceptic of totalising theories). However, I would if that means marrying that girl--and I was the fiercest critic of marriage. I mean, Christianity it's not as "far-fetched" as Islam or Judaism, is it?

jradetzky,

There are more fish in the sea! Since you are obviously familiar with internet-induced conversation, I would suggest you check out www.match.com. Theyve got some nice ladies there.

No way BurgerKing! I'd rather remain single for ever than looking for people on the Internet.

What a bizzare thread.

jradetzky, it sounds like the christian girl of your dreams will be marrying another so forget her. If she knows you like and is still with her bf, you should say bye bye.

To H:

I guess you're right. I'll remain a Radha for her.

a cow-herder?