Hello,

I've been getting a bit stuck in my head recently. I started my PhD in October. To begin with I was quite depressed with it and it felt like every day dragged, now I've got to the point where I don't hate it but I still can't stop wondering if I'm doing the right thing. I think I rushed into it a bit too much. I always wanted to do a PhD but I wasn't sure which area of chemistry I wanted to be in. Graduation was approaching and I got offered something in my department, it looked fairly interesting so I accepted it. I think that might have been a mistake. Maybe I'd have done better to stop and work out what I really wanted first.

Right now I just feel like a don't actually want to get a PhD. If I get qualified as a PhD student in this area, then if I want to stay in research I'll probably have to stay around this area. That terrifies me and makes keeping up with the work harder. It feels like I'm being swept further and further away from all the other options that were right there last year. I was doing ok for a bit and then we had a departmental talk on something I almost applied to and everything I was trying to ignore got stirred up again.

Anyway, I wanted to ask other PhD students whether it's normal to feel like this? Is this something that everyone goes through or am I actually screwed up? Thank you if you read this and double thank you if you reply.

You're definitely not screwed up, but I would be concerned that you've doubted the phd from day one. Having nerves at the start and feeling exhausted by the end are normal, but feeling depressed and demotivated right through is not good.

Is your topic genuinely uninteresting, or is it the phd process that you're struggling with?

I know that I applied for a wide range of studentships myself, and while I was interested in them all, nothing was a dead cert. That said, taking a year out to work before applying did give me a break from studying and a chance to build up some enthusiasm again.

If you really don't see a future in your field, haven't liked your project from day one, and don't feel like the phd means much to you, then I would consider quitting, because it's hard going even for those who love what they do. But just be sure that it's really the project that's at fault and not due to fixable issues such as peer support, supervisor relationships or project details.

I don't mind my topic and I can do the work. Sometimes it's interesting and sometimes it's not. I quite like my supervisor too. It's more that I can't stop questioning whether this is really the area of chemistry I want to be going into. It just feels like it's such a big decision and it was made without really considering it properly. What really worries me is that I often feel like I'm in completely the wrong section (chemistry is generally divided into organic, inorganic and physical). I don't know many other phd students so I don't really know if it's normal to feel trapped like this.

Hiya, Im confused too.. so i dont really know if I can help at all.
I just started my PhD. (APRIL) and I sometimes doubt whether its all worth it, 3 years of slogging, away from family friends, and everythin I know.
Why dont u talk to a career guidance counselor, he/she could give u options , that could help?
Atleast you wouldnt worry so much and then focus on your PhD research. right?

I dont think you're screwed up, maybe you just need to sit down and think things through, better yet , talk to someone and the solution could be a lot clearer.

hi Acetone
I felt like this myself at the start, I went straight from undergrad to PhD with a summer work scholarship in between so I think I had 2 weeks off all together that year!  Not enough! Anyway, if I was you, you should have a think about what you really do want to work in.  Then chat to people in your department and your supervisor if you think you can, and see how much it is possible to change fields after you submit your PhD. I thought when I started that I'd be stuck doing something I didn't want to forever, but it's really not like that, now I actually want to do something quite different to what I thought I wanted at the start and I'm well placed for it having done my project.  I know in many fields it's possible to do a postdoc in something very different to what you've done before but of course it all depends on what your work entails. I'd have a think about it all, talk to people especially the academics in your department and the other areas you might like to work in and then chat to your supervisor.  If you really think this isn't for you, you might be able to work together to direct it in a direction that will suit you better, that's what I ended up doing.