Depressed at the final hurdle
I am a 3rd year student currently writing up my thesis. I am also my supervisors 1st PhD student. When I first arrived, things were pretty good between us, too good perhaps. A year into my PhD however, I became the sole member of my group and this is when things started turning nasty. It kicked off with bitching behind my back with undergrads, but then progressed to shouting, constantly snapping, swearing, publicly humiliating me, threatening to kick me off my PhD for telling him I thought of self-harm after one of his episodes, avoiding me, ignoring me in public, telling me I deserve his treatment of me, threatening to blackmail me for accidently saying I didn't like the head of school (he's insulted many of his colleagues to me - he says he's allowed to because he sits on a panel), telling me to stay away from everyone as I was clearly a bad influence and also, he has resorted to fabricating what my other supervisors say about me, etc, etc. All this time I had done nothing but work hard, esp. as I am now aiming to submit by Oct/Nov, so near the 3 year mark. I was told in my 1st year review that I was in the top 10% (at this time he also asked me to be his post doc - I said no), and my work led to him getting a grant for a post doc to take over my work. Admittedly, much of this agro has been over a paper from my thesis which I have not been allowed to write. I accepted this but got upset when I found out that he intended to botch the contributions at my expense and hand 2nd authorship to an undergrad who had done pilot studies. I approached him and got a public shouting at and was told that it was his paper and not mine, and that I needed be priveledged that he was allowing me to be first author (he later denied this, claiming I was a liar).
I was also told (at a later date), that I'd better hurry up and finish the paper as his career was at stake. This was during at time I needed a major op. I fell into deep depression but plucked up the courage to talk to a few people incl one of my supervisors. My only route was to make an official complaint, have it fought out in front of a panel, and change supervisors to someone who didn't have any knowledge of my project (my other supervisors didn't). I sat tight but steadily grew more and more depressed to the point of wanting to quit. I approached my supervisor about this and he told me to go (by then the paper had been done). Hearing this, I decided to stay. My supervisor has since got his grant and a few other people have now joined us incl. this postdoc. I thought things would get better but things worsened. More shouting, snapping, publicly humiliating. To top it off, he has also resorted to favouritism. I struggled to ask for the cheapest of things but everyone of the new members has been given/offered iMacs, all the things they need for their projects and are also being sent off to international conferences despite struggling to have enough content for an abstract - if I ask, he doesn't have the money. If I kicked up a fuss, he would accuse me of pulling tantrums.
Things hit rock bottom for me once again. I couldn't bear the thought of going into uni, being anywhere near him or any of my new team mates who think he's fab. After much struggle, I finished my work and yes, am now away writing though I do have to go in now and again. Every time I do, I have to listen to people telling me how much my supervisor is spending on them, and the trips he wants to take them on (I struggled to go anywhere). My supervisor himself, pretty much ignores me (unless it's paper related in which case I'm hunted down).
I know that there's only a thesis in it and my living hell will over, but I can't concentrate. I am so depressed all I can do is mull over how unfair it all is and cry. I don't know what to do. Please advise.
Sorry peeps, you can tell that I'm not a very concise writer!
He's the one with the problems by the sounds of it. Finish up as quickly as possible, do what you've got to do to get out of there and as Barramack say, move on.
Ian
I am a 3rd year student currently writing up my thesis. I am also my supervisors 1st PhD student. When I first arrived, things were pretty good between us, too good perhaps. A year into my PhD however, I became the sole member of my group and this is when things started turning nasty. It kicked off with bitching behind my back with undergrads, but then progressed to shouting, constantly snapping, swearing, publicly humiliating me, threatening to kick me off my PhD for telling him I thought of self-harm after one of his episodes, avoiding me, ignoring me in public, telling me I deserve his treatment of me, threatening to blackmail me for accidently saying I didn't like the head of school (he's insulted many of his colleagues to me - he says he's allowed to because he sits on a panel), telling me to stay away from everyone as I was clearly a bad influence and also, he has resorted to fabricating what my other supervisors say about me, etc, etc. All this time I had done nothing but work hard, esp. as I am now aiming to submit by Oct/Nov, so near the 3 year mark. I was told in my 1st year review that I was in the top 10% (at this time he also asked me to be his post doc - I said no), and my work led to him getting a grant for a post doc to take over my work. Admittedly, much of this agro has been over a paper from my thesis which I have not been allowed to write. I accepted this but got upset when I found out that he intended to botch the contributions at my expense and hand 2nd authorship to an undergrad who had done pilot studies. I approached him and got a public shouting at and was told that it was his paper and not mine, and that I needed be priveledged that he was allowing me to be first author (he later denied this, claiming I was a liar).
This is mobbing! I'd publicly kick his ass
