Depressed
======= Date Modified 16 Nov 2011 08:36:34 =======
Quote From Bevcha:
Hi Guys,
Last time I posted here I was over the moon as I had just passed my PhD viva which went really well and I really couldn't have been happier.....one year later.....
I took a postdoc offer outside of my home country (UK) and it has resulted in the worse depression I have ever found myself in.
It started off not too bad I felt good about the project and the new challenge and was enjoying it that was before supervisors true colours revealed! Bullying, pushy, narcissistic, arrogant, deluded, abusive .... I could go on! The stupid thing being the harder I worked the worse the bullying became. When I took holiday I was entitled to I was sent abusive mails and also when attending a family members funeral the same abuse incurred :-(
Resultantly I now have zero motivation and less than zero confidence and feel like crap, to drag myself in at all is agony now and I was never like this in my life before - I have asked a trusted staff member if there is a counselling service available. I have four months left before I begin a three year funded fellowship (which I won) with someone I know very well and I cannot wait. 4 months feels like forever though!
Phew! that was a bit of steam let off!
Hope everyone is enjoying their post doc time!
Hi Guys,
Last time I posted here I was over the moon as I had just passed my PhD viva which went really well and I really couldn't have been happier.....one year later.....
I took a postdoc offer outside of my home country (UK) and it has resulted in the worse depression I have ever found myself in.
It started off not too bad I felt good about the project and the new challenge and was enjoying it that was before supervisors true colours revealed! Bullying, pushy, narcissistic, arrogant, deluded, abusive .... I could go on! The stupid thing being the harder I worked the worse the bullying became. When I took holiday I was entitled to I was sent abusive mails and also when attending a family members funeral the same abuse incurred :-(
Resultantly I now have zero motivation and less than zero confidence and feel like crap, to drag myself in at all is agony now and I was never like this in my life before - I have asked a trusted staff member if there is a counselling service available. I have four months left before I begin a three year funded fellowship (which I won) with someone I know very well and I cannot wait. 4 months feels like forever though!
Phew! that was a bit of steam let off!
Hope everyone is enjoying their post doc time!
This reads exactly like my second post-doc, the only difference being I had nothing afterwards to go to.
You have a Fellowship to go to. I know the time out has been suggested, however, if you've a new position to go to, are not relying on these peoples' references and can afford to live in the meanwhile, the temptation must be there to tell them to "stick your job"!!!
I'll point out if they "dismiss" you (I can't believe I'm suggesting this as I wouldn't normally condone doing or engineering this), you can come back to the UK and claim Job Seekers (or if lucky find something temporary) or go on sick due to depression until the Fellowship starts. Either that or do a little travel for four months. I would not tolerate such bullying if you don't have to.
Ian (Mackem_Beefy)
