======= Date Modified 20 01 2010 21:01:12 =======
Hi everyone,

I was wondering whether I could hear some opinions on my situation.
I am 18 months into my PhD, and in October I had my transfer viva. Despite passing all the formal requirements really well (a report and a transfer viva), my supervisors recommended to the director of studies that I should not transfer because I am not ready in their opinion (they say I lack an enquiring mind and background knowledge)

So that was 3 months ago. I have been working like a crazy person to address their concerns, I've written the introduction to my thesis to show I do know my stuff now, and have been trying to ask smart questions in our meetings. They've set me a target of three papers that I need to have written by the end of March (I have collected the data for these already), and one of them I've handed in this week. Then there'll be ANOTHER viva. I've said to myself "I can do it!", even though I think I'm being tested harder than anyone else in my department who failed their transfer (mind you, I technically didn't fail mine). But I guess as a PhD student you can't compare yourself to your "classmates" anymore, so that's ok.

Now, today there was progress meeting with the director of studies, my transfer assessors and my supervisors. Despite all my hard work they had little nice things to say. The actual pieces of work were ok, but they criticised all sorts of woolly things, like the fact that I don't go and grab my supervisors for help often enough and don't often enough say that I don't understand something.

The truth is that I don't really get on very well with my supervisors, and even more so since they stopped me from transferring. Every time I open my mouth I feel I'm being judged. I can't have an informal, relaxed chat about things with them and sometimes my mind just goes blank. When they're in the room I become totally unnatural, stiff and wary of what I say and do so they don't think I'm thick. I wish I could have a normal relation with them, being friendly and positive and encouraging. But it's not like that at all.

This is no way to be!! And definitely no way to do a PhD. I feel I've go no one in my corner and my confidence is getting smaller with each of those dreadful you're-doing-it-all-wrong meetings. I'm wondering, should I go for a master's and try my luck elsewhere? My topic is interesting, but not my heart and soul. All my zing to show them what I can do is out of the window after today's meeting. I just feel useless and not quite sure I'm cut out for this.

Thanks for reading it all until here - I'm really looking forward to your thoughts on my situation. Has anyone got experience with repairing a weird supervisor relationship? Or do you reckon I should cut my losses since I can't seem to get it right?

Thank you!!!

Gosh, it really sounds like you have been through the mill, I really feel for you. And I agree that it sounds as though you are being pushed harder than most - I mean, you have enough data for 3 papers??! and they are not happy? you hint at there being an uncomfortable atmosphere between yourself and supervisors, I am wondering if this is the source of their problem ie it is not that you are not working hard enough etc, but more a personal problem - if this is the case, then they are being very unprofessional - this is no way to deal with that. I am really not sure what to suggest, other than trying to get a second opinion on your prgress/quality of your work. Don't lose heart, it sounds to me like you are trying really hard, and that is all you can do!

Hi PhiPhi! This sounds like a really tricky situation. There are a number of students where I am with the same supervisor (my primary supervisor) and most of us get on really well with her but there are a couple of people in the team who just can't stand her and hate working with her- it's strange. She is very high up in her field and can therefore appear quite intimidating when you don't know her very well, and I wonder if this is something that people can't get over when they have 'high-profile' supervisors. Do you feel intimidated when you are around them? Perhaps you are trying a bit too hard with trying to ask smart questions and so on- we've all tried to do it, I sure have and I gave it up a while ago now because I fell on my face too many times! But in a way that can make you so nervous about what you are going to say next that it makes it harder to take in what everyone else is saying. I guess the main thing is that it sounds like your work is up to scratch with respect to the important things, so it would be a shame to pack it in. Maybe your supervisors would actually rather you badger them more than you do if you aren't sure about something- in a way, that's a positive thing if they actually would like to offer you a bit more support. When is your next viva due? Perhaps it is worth at least persevering until then if you feel like you can. I guess we all have our confidence knocked at times through the PhD process, but it doesn't help if your supervisors are making you feel even worse! KB