I'm useless at networking... mainly because I feel like a phony. Does anyone else feel a bit like this? Do you have a way to tackle these situations?

There is a really good book called "never eat alone". I don't have it but a friend raves about it. It's gives you a bunch of tips and tricks to start networking without changing your life. You might want to give it a look.

But yeah, I'm in a similar boat. I can't do it. Mainly because I'm so busy, I can't fathom talking to people. Speaking of which, I'm procrastinating from a project proposal by posting here, so I should get back to it. Good luck.

Alot of people love talking about themselves: so ask lots of questions, and they'll feel like they've had a really good conversation. Networking is about building bridges, not necessarily telling everyone about what you're doing, in the initial stages.

I've had a read of the summary ' Never Eat Alone' - http://treypennington.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/never-eat-alone-by-keith-ferrazzi.pdf

What scares me is that I felt irritable half-way through reading that. I really feel networking is completely pretentious and that the author is just describing ways with which to re-define and re-conceptualize what essentially feels like targeting and using people. Sometimes I think this will be my downfall in academia.

I talk to people the way I usually do, I'm quite chatty; however, I'm not programmed to 'exploit' encounters, and I don't suck up - I am quite honest and worry sometimes that I may come across as critical, or as an up-start, but some people also respond well to things I say that I think maybe a bit controversial.

For example, I went to a department to ask for some teaching work and they really messed me about, asking me to wait outside the door for ten minutes (which is fine) and then not seeing me after 40 minutes when I had things to do and people to see etc. They were quite abrupt about it, explaining I had to wait because i didn't have an appointment; so I let them know I originally agreed to wait for 10 minutes, and had to go - which I did.

I tend to follow up if there is a natural flow to the conversation that I would like to continue, or if someone asks me to. I doubt very much I will ever do some purposefully designed networking plan, I don't think I would be able to be convincing. I am one of those people who shows everything on their face...