Ok folks, what you think about getting married while you are "sunk" in your PhD research? I am not sure what I should do. Sometimes I feel I may not give her enough time to be a "good husband". Sometimes I think I am so lifeless without having my GF by my side and I really want to marry her.

yep - married is good - I did it just before the end of 1st year PhD - no probs, everybody needs a good support network

saying that tho we'd been together 9 years by that point

good luck

S

Aahhh that is sweet... you should go for it!!! I know plenty of people who got married during their PhDs or even had babies - which probably take up a bit more of your time

Good luck

i would caution you against it. the pressures of writing up are not the type you want to start your marriage or any relationship on. wait til you are less stressed and then get married. you can still arrange to see your girlfriend more during your PhD.

I'm getting married this year, have got 1 yr left of PhD. Sometimes it does take over PhD work but only because I want it to, but generally it hasn't impacted on my work at all.

I second what Jojo has said.

It's not the question whether the marriage will have an impact on the research, quite the opposite. In the final months of writing up, the pressure will be unbearable and it will be hard to communicate to the wife or husband that you would prefer to spend more time with the thesis than with him or her.

What I wanted to say, the marriage will not take over the research, but the PhD research will take over the life, making it even hard to think about mundane things like shopping for groceries or washing clothes.

If you just want her to be there for you, then dont get married soon as you will have to put PhD first. Having said that, got married before the end of first year and were together for more than 5 years. when I did the degree and all that we managed just fine as keeping days for each other and finishing assignments early so we could be together.
MARRIED life needs compromises and a lot-at the same time PhD is all about that, so double the time juggling and although I have no regrets of marrying during the PhD or even having babies, it has to talked over with the partner so carefully to avoid any major heartaches that could ruin it all, relationship and the PhD. Think carefully, talk openly about things that could happen in write-up stage etc. and be wise when making decisions!

I don't think there is anything wrong with getting married whilst doing a PhD. I am getting married next year, at which point I will hopefully either be doing a MSc or in the first year of a PhD. By next year we will have been together for 10 years, and for the last 3 have been living together and both doing undergraduate degrees at the same time. We are used to working together at home, and yes, it has been hard at times. But if your relationship is strong enough, it should take more than doing a PhD to shake it apart. Good luck.

I say if you think that you are ready you should go for it. The PhD has never had a detrimental effect on me and my bf, though it does help that he's doing a PhD also. Is your gf in academia?

Quite frankly and with all due respect, I think people who are not in the final writing up phase of their PhDs or have completed it should refrain from giving advice on this issue.

What is clear is that Undergrad studies or MSc studies or even the first or second year of the PHD are entirely different and incomparable with regard to their impact on life and hence marriage or relatonsships in general.

i agree with jouri. if you decide to get married, there will come a point where you have to chose one - your PhD or your spouse. whichever of them can't handle this is the one you'll lose. its best to tread carefully and keep them both.

Jouri and jojo... just curious - are you both single?

This has been said many times on this forum before - but if you put your life on hold because you are so busy with your PhD, then you will probably put your life on hold again when you are so busy with your new job... and so on... until one day, aged 65, you finally have some free time but realise that (most of!) life has passed you by.

P.S. I also am in my final year - and I think everybody should be entitled to post their opinions here, whatever stage they are at.

in a way I agree with Jouri and jojo - I did get married - but only at the end of first year when the stresses are few

Getting married brings with it horrendous stress that a you would best avoid combining with final write up - which is also very stressfull

maybe they should update that list,

'the most stressful things to do in life':
1- Write up a PhD
2- Get married
3- Move house
4- Move country
5- Lager or Beer

There are probably more for the list like babies and what colour to get your new car in, but I think I highlighted the main ones

Jojo and jouri - of course I respect your opinion and I don't know how hard writing up will be - but to say that you have to choose your PhD OR your relationship is madness. My relationship is very important to me and there is no way I would sacrifice a decade of love and happiness for a few months of stress and hard work.

I have a friend who got married just before her writing up phase, and she did say writing up was stressful, but being married helped her; her husband was there to support her, and I'm guessing if it is as stressful as you say than emotional support can only be a good thing. My fiance is very supportive of me wanting to do a PhD and fully understands it will take up a lot of my time for the next few years. Note I say 'a lot of time' and not 'all my time', however - life must be balanced