My pet hamsters are keeping me up all night - I can't sleep with them in the room.

I have got some gerbils for my new flat I hope they aren't gonna be too loud.

Get a pot plant. They are much quieter.

Or get a "pot" plant. And then you won't care.

Send them to me, i'll eat 'em, unless you are hungry?

Alex, move them to another room at night. My parrots fall off their perches in the middle of the night and all u can hear is a load of flapping...poor things.

You could be really mean and remove the wheel from the cage at night...have you considered ear plugs? [Are they Russian dwarf beasties or the Syrian type?]

Maybe you could fry them and make a meal.

oil their wheel, or keep them in the bathroom

doesn't it make your room smell....?

Eat them with your PhD

You should teach your hamsters to have a bit of respect. In my day they would have been run over by a steam roller and fed into a toaster, that'll learn 'em and no mistake.

They are Russian Dwarfs - you know, the ones that go as flat as pancakes when you take them outside. They are gorgeous and I love them to bits but they drive me mad. Yeh that wheel has got to go. They eat flies - my room had lots of flies in it and they catch them and eat them..especially the big juicy ones..very handy.

Should improve flavour of PhD - hmmm with extra hamster!