I'm coming to the end of my first year of my PhD this month. At the beginning of my PhD, I seriously thought I would have a data chapter completed at this stage and be full steam ahead with my ideas for the others. With my first year pretty much over, I'm reviewing my progress and I feel as though I have nothing at all to show for it. The plan for my PhD is still hazy, which absolutely fills me with panic. I feel as though the last year has been wasted.

My motivation and confidence is now at an all-time low. I seriously have no idea how to progress from here and am terrified of admitting it to my supervisors. Would they get angry or disappointed that I have let them down? Surely they must've seen some potential when they chose me as their candidate - I'm sure they'd kick themselves for ending up with someone as weak as me.

I'm getting to the point where the lack of confidence I feel regarding my PhD is impacting my private life and health.

Advice will be greatly appreciated.

I think it's very common to feel that way, I certainly did! We all go into a PhD thinking we'll get so much done super quickly, and then everything takes much longer than anticipated! It's all part of the learning process. Don't let it get to you, now you know your work patterns a bit better make a plan of action for the next year. Break it up into tiny do-able steps and put them on post-its on a big wall chart and rip them up as you do each one. It is very satisfying! And don't worry again if you fall behind, as again some things you do will take longer than you want to but that's part of life! Good luck!

Hi,
I exactly feel the same as you do Coralflower but the difference is that I have precisely finished my second year of the PhD. For you it is rather normal since the first year of PhD is mostly for reviewing others work but for me I feel more pressure since it is my second year.
I also greatly appreciate any help and advice.

Hi coralflower, sorry to hear you're feeling down. I definitely agree with Caro's advice. I'm nearly halfway through my second year and I felt the same not too long ago.

Firstly, recognise that what you're feeling is totally normal and very common with PhD students, a lot of whom are high-achieving and very conscientious people. I certainly went into it with lots of enthusiasm thinking "I'm gonna smash this!" then you're faced with constant negative feedback, extremely slow supervisors, isolation (is everyone doing better than me? probably?), and a lack of perspective. Getting that perspective back is really important.

Once you speak to a few more advanced PhD students, you'll realise most people didn't get much done in their first year. In fact, the majority of my first year was a 'waste' of my time, as I switched topics at the end of the first year so it made my reading and research useless...however, I look at it as part of a bigger journey that led me to pick a topic that's much better academically-speaking and more interesting. Even when I thought everything was going great in my second year, I had loads of negative feedback which really floored me and I'm recovering from it now. I felt totally useless and stupid but I now recognise that I was putting myself into a downward spiral of negativity and pessimism. All of these setbacks build up your resilience and help you deal with more in the future.

Like Caro said, take it one step at a time...and relax! Your brain needs to chill out and that'll help put you back on the right track. Like when you get a brilliant idea while having a shower. You're not weak and you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Best of luck.

I recommend reading some of Thesis Whisperer's posts. She talks about the Valley of Shit, something that all PhDs tend to walk through at some point throughout their PhD.

http://thesiswhisperer.com/2012/05/08/the-valley-of-shit/