hi guys, today i got a response from one of the jobs that i've been applying to outside my field inviting me to the next step in the interview process. i was so excited, so i told my parents. they are so against changing fields. i have looked for a job in my field now for about 5 years with regrets all the way. i thought a postgrad degree would make things easier, but being an international student, firms in my field have been reluctant to offer me a job. my phd is interdisciplinary and as a result am able to understand other fields. now my parents think after spending 7 years on my subject i should get a job in that field - no matter what. am so discouraged. i was so happy and excited about this new job. returning home to work in my field would mean i was only paid around £100 a month for the first two years. this job offers £20000.

i haven't got it yet, but am not happy that people who matter are not happy for me and would rather i did what would be ideal despite the fact that no one is giving me the ideal job and those who are are paying me meagre wages. what would you do if you were me?

Hi jojo. Don't be discouraged. My parents would suggest the same thing to me! It is difficult to understand the effort and anxiety that accompany the completion of a PhD for people who have a different background. Ultimately you know what you want to achieve and if this job is right for you. Moreover, if you decide to go ahead it doesn't mean that you must do that for the rest of your life. This is going to be only a first step. So, I would suggest to value all the pros and cons and then do what you think is best for you.
Don't be discouraged. Ideally, our loved ones should support our decisions. Sometimes, this does not happens. Standing up for our choices can be difficult, but necessary. Best of Luck for everything!

My Mum is always saying negative comments! I'd just get on with it, you are the one with the PhD and experience of the job market in that area. My Mum has no clue, but is still determined to tell me I'm selling myself short and my temp job is not good enough for me. Clearly I want a permament job related to my PhD, but that isn't easy-especially without experience.

Hi Jojo,

it is interesting to read regarding the impact your parents have on your decisions. I consider myself to be a rational person and tend to make decisions based on a long thought process, but even then find it difficult if my parents disagree, even though they often have not got a clue what I am talking about.
I think an approach may be to explain again the situation to them and especially that the financial side is important for you. As long as you get your phD a change of direction problably will not be a bad thing.

Good luck

hi jojo,
congrats on the interview! i'd say, you know best what you want to do. just don't start thinking "i have to take this job because it is the only choice" - only take it if you think it might work out well.

when i had run out of money earlier this year i mentioned to my parents that (although i really want to do a PhD) if i didn't get any funding from anywhere, i would have to give up and do something else, simply to avoid starving, if you know what i mean. their reaction was simply denial. "we don't want this to be true so it can't be true. you will get funding, we can't believe you won't". it's great that they believe in me and in this case it turned out they were right... but it didn't help at the time! it just built the pressure to find a solution to a situation that seemed unsolvable.

sometimes we have to choose between two bad (or, imperfect) choices. when we make the choice that is best for ourselves, others might not understand why we choose at all. it can be very tough to have to admit to oneself that the perfect dream isn't coming true. then to have to explain this to someone else is even worse. especially to people who believe in you. good luck with it all and let us know how it developes!

thanks guys for your encouragement. i will keep you posted on how things develop. eventually i will have to make the decision for myself and do what works for me. but it's really gonna be hard coz i wish they would just trust me and be happy for me. anyway, i think what i should do now is not give up and try to explain to them why am doing what am doing and hope that they'll come round.