Fear of commitment

B

I'm finding it very VERY difficult to start the writing process 'proper'. I have quite a lot written in the form of notes and sections of chapters but when I sit down to turn it into actual prose suitable for chapters I start to panic and find other things to do.

I think I'm frightened of commiting anything to a word document because then once I start that's it! If I haven't written anything I can't get it wrong but once I do it could all go horribly wrong.

I need to get over this as I have to submit very soon, but my heart starts to pound and I get all sweaty.

Am I alone?

T

I think it's a pretty normal response to feeling pressure, neccessity can be the mother of invention, and the mother-of-all confidence crisis. It might help to consider the following:

*It's down on paper but it can always be revised if you're not happy.
*This seems like the biggest deal in the world...it isn't, you'll still be breathing tomorow if it's not perfect.
*Break it up. Don't sit with ten million notes and a vast expanse of blank sheets, that would scare the crap out of anyone. Start by dividing your tasks and only think about the one your doing at that time.

J

i find that writing up is like the gym - very hard to get started, but once you get going, you start to enjoy it. so just get on with it, you'll find that its not as bad as it seems and guess what, it'll all stop haunting you. when you've been doing your work and you see your thesis growing, you can go out and have fun without a guilty conscience. but on the other hand, the harsh reality is that, if you don't start, tomorrow, you will still be afraid and in cold sweats, and time doesn stop moving. you'll be nearer to the end of your phd. it's up to you to chose which feeling you prefer in the next couple of months/years of your life. i personally decided to get on with it. i know it's hard, but that's why it's a PhD thesis. Believe me, the first draft won't be fantastic, but soon with editting and all your notes, it'll be brilliant!

all the best,
Jojo.

J

another encouraging word for you.

last week i went to this second and third year phd students talk, for phd students who were frustrated with the whole process. The course moderator identified two problems that research students face in their second and third year: 1) lack of faith and 2) too much research. I think yours is more the second one rather than that first because you already have your notes, you haven't just stopped and given up. We were advised that when your problem is too much research, mindmapping (asking whys and hows) might help you to organise your thoughts and like teek said, divide your existing work into smaller portions that you can handle more easily? hope that helps.

B

That really helps! Thank you both.

See, I know that I just need to get on with it - and it really is more of a case of having a lot to say (too much research) rather than a lack of faith, at least in my work (faith in myself is another matter entirely!).
I think I will have to try and cut the chapter up into sections (and the sections into sections).
It's the thesis mountain that is very initimidating, rather than it being just to the first check-point.

Thanks again.

J

you're welcome.

keep up posted on how you're getting on.

4

you are not alone blueunderneath. I am in a similar situation (could be even worse); so are thousands of other PhD students. I find myself doing stupid things like tidying my references, reading even more stuff as if I don't have enough research, helping friends with their work and online shopping/selling in order to avoid my work. I only have 2 weeks to finish a chapter and there isn't even one good sentence written.

Good luck with your work..

B

Good luck to you too 404. I do the reading more stuff too, even though - like you - I have more than enough research already.

Today since lunch has been a bit better actually, not much written to be honest, but am being more productive towards the actual writing than just reading more stuff.

4

Have you looked at the "Authoring a PhD" by Patrick Dunleavy? It was suggested by someone on this forum, so I got that yesterday and I wish I read it before. To be honest, I assumed it would be just another PhD book and ignored it all this time. But it has very good time-saving advice.

B

I'll have a look 404 - thanks

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