I'm on a full-time funded MPhil/PhD program (studentship) so I get my meagre stipend every month, which is enough for me to live on.

I've been thinking a lot about why I feel so stressed about doing my PhD (even when all my supervisors are on holiday and I've no-one on my back to submit work or upcoming deadlines), and one of the conclusions I have come to is that I can't afford to go into nominal year (not getting paid), and I'm covertly stressed (already a year early) that I won't finish in time and that I'll have to either drop the PhD because I have no money, or get into a lot of debt paying rent, bills, food, etc.

I'm also terrified of failing the PhD 'milestones' (transfer to PhD, yearly reports) not necessarily because of the prospect of failing (though that comes into it too) but because if they fail me or cut my funding, I'll have to look elsewhere for work and will feel as though the (so far) two years will have been worthless - There's a fear that employers see that you were doing a PhD but dropped out, and it'll put them off.

Does anyone else have similar worries, or experience with these kind of things?



(in other news, I'm also stressed that my 'contribution' to my field is not going to be significant enough based on results/work so far, but that's a whole other story!)

Sounds like what you're worried about is the fact that you're the maker of your own destiny? Studentships are only given to outstanding students so your project must have been deemed valuable in that your department approved investing in it. Having said that, I too lack self-esteem and worry that my project won't 'come up' with anything significant...but usually a meeting with my supervisors re-instills my confidence in a jiffy :) I think that for any funding to be removed the situation would have to entail non-submission of work or failing annual reports etc but then if you've already done 2 years then you know what is expected of you and you know what to do. Maybe just take a step back, have a nice relaxing day then re-attack with a fresh perspective of 'I deserve every penny and I deserve this opportunity' might serve you well? :)

Hi Zinar,
Yes, I do have many of the same worries.
Slightly different situation, I have a wife with a part time job (not enough to support us) and some debt.
I also know I could not afford any extra time on the end.

Cashflow is also a problem for me as my stipend gets paid every three months.
This does not match the regular bills which are all monthly (rent, gas and electricity etc).

On occasions I've also been scared of my work not being interesting enough research.
For the first year and a half of my PhD I was attempting something impossible and not getting anywhere.
When I changed away from that, things started moving, but on the odd occasion I have read papers which are very similar and got scared that they exactly duplicate what I've been doing.
As it turns out, they haven't yet duplicated what I've done, and I'm in the process of writing my first paper (at the start of my 3rd year - 3 years funding).
I still get worried about if I'll fit everything in that I need to to finish on time.

There's also the issue that I want to stay in academia.
Getting a postdoc job isn't the easiest thing to do, and I'll need one within a couple of months of my funding running out.

I can't offer any advice apart from, the worrying doesn't actually help you, so try not to worry.
However, I haven't managed this so if you do find a way to stop worrying, please let me know.
Dom

Hello! I think the only reason I registered in the website is to be able to reply to you, Zinar :)

I am in my 10th month of Ph D. And I am living in the fear of losing scholarship since day 1! I am indeed blessed with a wonderful supervisor. You can not ask for any better, lets put it this way. My sup is patient and humble as a person and highly creative in educational achievements. If I need to speak/show problem/simply discuss how frustrated I am every day of the week, my sup will manage the time no matter how busy is the schedule.

I think I fear losing the university studentship as I have not progressed a lot with writing :( I read a lot, simply a lot in the last 10 month. I have completed the required training courses. But as far as the upgrade/qualifying report is concerned I am struggling to write, let alone organize coherently my chapters. That seems a dream now. And I am even more scared now as my upgrade is due in two months!

I really do not know how to begin to write. All the time when I had to write something, there was always a guideline. And now in the absence of it, I really feel like being in deep ocean! How did you start to write? I have even tried note taking and unstructured sentence writing, even that is not helping! :(

Hi Snasreen7, sorry I didn't reply sooner, so busy!

I spent most of my first 9 months reading, and since then have had bouts of 3 months (primarily) reading, 3 months (primarily) doing other stuff, 3 months reading, etc. etc. Even though I'm 23 months in, I'm still finding so much that I need to look at, I think one of the problems I find about the PhD is that it you can't know _everything_ that you need to know to get through the thesis and viva - It's not like school studies where there's a syllabus and you'll only get examined on the stuff in it.

Then again, that means that when you can't really be 'wrong' - I always start to write by tackling something that I either know about or about stuff that's well-covered in the literature and easy to find (close to hand) ~ It's a cliche, but writing the introduction first is good in order to focus what you actually want to saying and what you want your finished written document to tell the reader (be it new data, new theories, whatever). I always brainstorm with about 20 x A4 sheets and jot down everything that comes into my head about what I want to discuss, and then look at what I need to say to get there.

I've always been told that the thesis should be like a story - Telling not just what you found out but also what you did and why you did it. Even if things didn't work or you went down false alleys, then writing about what you learned is still just as valid: You can never be 'wrong', so as long as you justify what you did and have something to say (e.g. 'I found this out!' or 'I found out that doing this experiment is a waste of time!' or 'I didn't find much out, but I did find this out') is all valid.

I'm quite lucky in that I've always been okay with writing and happy with my output, but when I get writer's block I like to draw diagrams and scribble on pages and looking at it the next day I might find inspiration in the scrawl and think of a bunch of things to write about! My office wall is covered in bits of paper that I randomly look up at every so often and come across something I can write about. Writing can be a pain, but it definitely gets easier in time. I've improved so much since the start of my PhD, and I'm sure you will, too. Good luck!

Dear Zinar7, thanks a lot for the advices! I surely will take some of them with me on board and try to write a couple of pages. Good luck to you too and hope you are getting rid of your fear :)