Hi everyone, can anyone advise, or does anyone have any experience of this?
My supervisor constantly belittles my research, gives me unrealistic deadlines to work to, despite the fact I tell him why these are unrealistic. He reports back to others on my supervisory team letting them know of these deadlines and its stressful to then have to engage in these conversations explaining my case for why this is unrealistic when I've already told him. I've worked as a lecturer in HE and I also work in the field which my research is in and so I have good time management and organisational skills and I'm more than capable of completing work when needed, but Im being pressured into rushing work to meet his demands. He appears to have quite an aggressive nature, and ideas I have for my research are often dismissed. I have tried to talk to him about how we are working together and have told him I'm not happy with the way he speaks to me and have asked if we can look at a better way of communicating, but this didn't go well. Since, he has been more difficult to work with and after asking to see his correspondence with others regarding my research (which was possible through a specific university procedure) I have realised that he has been providing inaccurate and dishonest reports about my work and my communication with him. He used Facebook to share his anger about a specific issue, and although I wasn't named, it was clearly about me (that's not me jumping to conclusions...) I was told by colleagues about the Facebook thread that followed his comments. I feel like Im going mad, trying to manage a PhD is hard enough. Im doubting my abilities which is unusual for me, and I feel like my confidence is at an all time low. I have tried to find a new supervisor but no luck yet and this may not be possible. Can anyone advise/support/help me see a clear way through?!

Hi Bluesky, to be honest, this situation sounds like a really valid reason for seeking a new supervisor. I don't think the Facebook post and thread situation is acceptable in any workplace (from either supervisor, colleague, or any direct reports), even if it doesn't specify you personally.

Who can you raise this with at the university, because I think you would have grounds for a complaint or filing a grievance. Are you sure you can't request another supervisor or do you have a second supervisor or panel who would be of some assistance here. if this doesn't seem possible, there must be a HR, administrative support service or counselling service that might help with providing an official pathway forward that would be appropriate for your university. I'm sorry I can't be of more help. Your post, I would think, indicates that your supervisor really has a problem. Best of luck. I am sure that others might have more specific and pertinent advice they can give.

Hey Bluesky. So sorry to hear about what you are going through - but remember...there has to be rain in order for the sunshine to be appreciated after. I guess we all have different struggles throughout our PhD journeys and yours seems to be a bit too much now. My suggestion would be to talk it out. Sit down with him and tell him bluntly everything you wrote here and more. If I were you that's what I would do. I would tell him how his behaviour makes me feel and ask for explanations why. Maybe there is a reason why he is doing this, you never know. I am not saying a valid reason - but a reason nonetheless. I seem to believe that many problems can be avoided if only people are blunt to each other. Maybe it won't work, but even so at least you would have exhausted all your remedies before taking the next step of changing supervisors. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

This is unacceptable. Do you have an academic advisor or other support person you can talk to confidentially about switching supervisors?

Thank you to you all for your replies - all of your replies are really appreciated. It's so very helpful to have outside views on this situation.
The graduate centre can't seem to find me an alternative supervisor, so it looks like they re saying I'd have to leave my course....
I'm being encouraged by peers and college staff to submit a complaint, but this wouldn't solve the issue of finding a replacement; no replacement = no PhD, Apparently. This just can't be right?! I'm told that by complaining formally that this may influence the graduate centre to find some creative solutions so I can complete my course at my current uni. Potential backlash, politics, and possibly an uncomfortable ride (on top of a PhD..) doesn't seem appealing. I've lost all confidence in my work and I am doubting my judgement of the situation - which is crazy because I know this situation is so wrong! My other supervisor was appointed to oversee his supervision as he's only had 2 other PhD students to date, so a member of the graduate centre contacted her to say there are issues - she then Skyped me and was very defensive, I tried to tell her what has been happening and her response over Skype along with other things was 'you ve clearly done no research anyway and If you have prove it.. maybe PhD isn't for you' (with a raised voice). I then passed a key assessment a week later so she wasn't correct there...but feeling like it's time to cut and run!! They all stick together on things like this!

I was having an issue with my supervisor that really came to a head at the end of the first year. I went and saw my academic advisor, who seemed to understand and support me, and said that it would not be swept under the carpet etc. Then after the meeting, she emailed me a summary of our meeting that was completely different to what we had verbally discussed! Basically - putting the blame and onus on me! And of course if my issue had escalated, that email would have been used as evidence against me! So I see where you are coming from being wary about the politics.

By some miracle, I was able to somehow mentally/emotionally distance myself from my supervisor and let go of any expectations I had about them. From then on, I saw myself as by myself. Me and my research. Of course this might not be possible in your case - I don't know how much you need to rely on your supervisor for access to data, contacts, etc. Also - the issues with my supervisor were not half as serious as yours. So it may not be an appropriate course of action for you to take. Just wanted to suggest it.

A final thought - make sure that you keep an accurate of your research progress and your dealings with your supervisor. Send meeting summaries that accurately record the meeting from your perspective etc etc. I say this because I was recently on an appeal panel for a PhD student who was appealing against the decision that had been made by the school for them to have to stop their PhD. The student had failed key milestones but was appealing on the grounds of several things such as the supervisor not providing adequate support. This isn't at all like your case, but what I learnt from being on the panel was that if you don't have evidence you don't have a leg to stand on. If the supervisor/school doesn't have evidence - what they say is accepted anyway.

I wish you a lot of patience during these tough times with your supervisor and PhD. I'm also suffering from a horrible supervisor-PhD student relationship for 4 years almost. I've lost many things in life because of this PhD. One thing I regret the most is the fact that I didn't come up for my own rights and showed my stance on time. Now I'm almost finished and it doesn't have any meaning anymore. I highly suggest you to speak up for yourself and make your point. If you can voice this in a professional manner (never snap at your supervisor) and say how disturbing the situation for you is, your supervisor might take a step back. I think you shouldn't feel trapped there. Keep other options open. Options of going to somewhere else is also totally OK. I have many friends who left PhD and nevery looked back. You are valuable as your own and if your supervisor is not getting this, then it is a horrible place to work for you. Or maybe it is a sign that this is not your line of work. We are not meant to be able to work at every work place with every boss. You have personal traits and your relationship with your boss/supervisor must be healthy as well. It is just like staying in a very abusive and destructive relationship. Sometimes life brings us into unexpectedly harsh conditions, but we need to remain in contact with ourselves, and eventually change or reshape that environment.
Good luck