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My current experiment should be finish by end of May but until now (2 months later) it still fails. I have tried several methods and made many modifications but still couldn't get it right. I really hate it when the mechanism breaks down all the time and have to repair it everytime, which makes it very difficult for me to move on further with validating my theory. I feel terrible (including can't get up from bed in the morning, feeling reluctant to go the lab downstairs, compelled to procrastinate) everytime I want to start the experiment, feeling that I will fail again. I don't know what my supervisor thinks about me as I have been avoiding him for months. I feel really bad about this. I feel like such a loser.
In addition to that, I just realized that I've made a big mistake in the revision of the journal paper that I sent. I'm not sure whether to send a new revised version or just wait for their reply (it has been almost one month now) or what else to do. Is it possible that the journal editor/reviewers ask for a new revised version if they think that it needs further improvement, or do they usually reject the paper if the first revision is not adequate? I am also inferior of my friend whose paper was already accepted and was questioning about the number of reviewers for my paper. As far as I know, usually there are at least 2 reviewers but I got comments only from one reviewer. I'm wondering if this means my paper is not good enough even though is accepted for publication, but I should be thankful enough if it is accepted.
Besides that, I also have 1 major and 1 minor part of my research which need to be done by the end of this year - which only 5 months left. I need to finish this experiment quickly, but I can't see how is this possible. Sometimes I feel like throwing the whole hardware set up into the river. I need to have at least two accepted journal papers by next February in order to graduate (it is one of the graduation requirements), but I really don't know how can I achieve this- experiment still fails- don't know how much longer will it take or will it ever be successful, big mistake in the revised paper, haven't even started the 3rd n 4th part of my research where I only have less than 5 months to complete them.

I can't sleep at night and have tried to talk with some friends and even invited some of them to come over to my house in order to release the stress, but each time I feel even more depressed and wanting to isolate myself further looking at their happy faces and listening to their progress and all of the wonderful things happening in their life. Am I the only one who feels like this? I feel like dying...

Sorry for venting and if my problem is actually very small compared to others', but I really need to talk this out freely (without covering up my real emotion) with someone who does not know me. Thanks.

Is your sup team approachable? I would discuss your experimental isses with your supervisors as it is hard to see what may be going wrong if you are so involved. An 'outside' set of eyes over the project could cast some new ideas of how to rectify the issues. Has anyone published something similar that could shed some light on what to do next? Additionally, you sup will need to know of your progress so that a plan can be made to try to get acheivements on time. Telling them in a few months means they and you won't have time to remedy the problems.

I think it is easy to compare yourself to everyone else in your department and hearing their 'successes' can make you feel more depressed. You need to step back from the comparisons, perhaps they speak well of their projects but beneath the surface they too are struggling. You must be acheiveing to have papers in progress, there are a lot of students who have not got that far...

Keep smiling and go and get some help!

Hey Huhu! Sorry you are feeling so rubbish. My PhD hasn't been lab-based so I can't really advise you on that side of things except to repeat what Dunni said and ask for some support with respect to the problems with hardware. If there are problems with the equipment that you're using then you need to register the problem with someone and make it clear that it is affecting your progress.

I wouldn't worry about the paper too much. I assume it's been accepted with revisions rather than a revise and resubmit verdict?
If it has been accepted (with revisions) then you'll be okay- worst case scenario they'll just ask you to make further amendments, but it's really unlikely they'll change their minds on their decision to accept it. I've never heard of that happening. I also wouldn't worry about the number of reviewers- reviewers for my papers have ranged in number from 1-4, and that wasn't an indication of the status of the journal or the final verdict of the reviewers/editors. Congrats on getting a paper accepted :) Don't worry about your friend either, everyone has their own insecurities and lots of people try to reassure themselves by comparing their perceived progress to others. Just think about your own progress- that's the important thing.

And look after yourself. If you're struggling to sleep etc and feel down then take some steps to try and feel better. Whether that's getting fresh air or exercising, seeing friends or watching some trashy film, whatever it takes then do it. Not for everyone but it can help to talk to a uni counsellor about things- I was seeing my uni counsellor for over 7 years and it pretty much saved my life!

Best, KB

Hi Huhu,

It sounds like you have been through some really rough times recently with your thesis and data collection (experiments). And it sounds like your understandable feelings of frustration, panic and despair over your present stage in your thesis have caused you some depression and to be caught up in a negative cycle of thinking/ KB's advice about some counselling is really good.

I saw an outside counsellor several times last year (and early this) to get me through a really difficult patch in life that started or was triggered by work, personal life and Masters thesis stress combined. The counselling was incredibly helpful and I may still see her again this year for a couple of visits as I move into a more level and different life stage (least I'm hoping I am going this way). If you find a good person, it is incredibly helpful and it really helps you challenge the negative thinking that excessive stress and depression seem to bring on. Writing theses seem to trigger these sometimes as well but maybe it is to do with what happens when we meet some failure in our work-(which happens to many of us and doesn't mean we fail our thesis-just a patch to get through).

Without trying to undermine or negate your feelings-which are real and genuine and painful enough-can I provide some counterthoughts to challenge the warpy thinking (depression or stress based) that might be making your feelings worse and helping them to last longer-so that feeling of being gutted or low hangs around.

Your supervisor is probably worried about you rather than thinking horrible things about you. But ultimately it is more important what you think about things than your supervisor-at least about yourself at any rate. You need to talk to them, it won't be neally as bad as you think-really.

Who knows why you only received one report from a reviewer than two-perhaps lots of reviewers read your work but were too busy to provide comments. It doesn't reflect on your report or make your friends more worthy. As KB says "CONGRATULATIONS" on getting a report published-that is really really good.

You have to get two papers published but these don't require your experiments to have been a success-in the course of researching case methodologies for methods chapter and data, I read masses of journal articles that were essentially the writer's reflections on why things had gone so badly or had not worked in the way they had envisioned. These were often really useful and interesting articles to read-not because they were records of 'failure' but because they tracked a difficult journey, providing food for thought for other researchers and marking the personal and academic growth of the writer concerned.

Your friends may come over and be happy because you are all socialising...it may not be because all is right with their world and their work is great while yours isn't. They may go home to feeling low about things as well but not want to share this with you-because none of us want to be low or down around others-so many of us pretend-pretend really really well.

Please get some help and try to go a bit easier on yourself. You are doing a terrific job and doing a PhD is not a breeze it is a really difficult challenge. Plan some small doable action steps to get you moving back into the work but also look after yourself and accept support. You would have lots of people who would be really concerned about you if they knew how badly you felt at the moment.
Hope this helps rather than hinders-be strong.

:-)

======= Date Modified 04 Oct 2011 15:58:05 =======
Thanks Dunni73, KB & Pjlu... :-)