I have often gone on work trips or parties with my boyfriend. On those trips, people I meet up with often get to meet my boyfriend. Inevitably, they ask both of us (or him) what he does and are often surprised that he is not in academia.

Do people in academia forget that there are other jobs out there which pay much better as well? Or do they just not mix with 'the others' (I have been seeing Lost).

the same is if you go to a party/trip with people not in Academia,
it feels weird and they wonder about how did you get in there...they arw two seperat worlds- academia and the rest:))

Well, I am doing a PhD and my boyfriend is an accountant - not much hope for me then?!?

This is a really interest question about who academics socialise with and how academia is perceived by those with "real" jobs. When I go to the hairdresser and they say "oh, have you got a day off"...I almost want to say "yes, I work in insurance" rather than "I am able to work flexi time as I am doing my PhD"..."PhD?" Exactly. This is no reflection on the hairdressing profession, but rather an example of the daily battles we as future academics face when asked "what do you do then?"

I always find their next question to him almost as much fun. "Do you enjoy what you do then?"

I come from an asian background as well. So there is then the question of "why isn't your boyfriend doing a PhD?"

I'm suprised by all these posts, I have socialised with lecturers whilst with my partner, and I never noticed any problems. Yes they are obviously older than me, and downing copious amounts of alcohol is not their idea of fun, but I felt that there is a nice mix of people around. The world would be very boring if everyone liked the same things and all shared the same interest.

These lecturers were very interested in my girlfriend and what she does for a living, and she was made to feel very welcome. And the lecturers partners were the same with me.

Yes Stu. But in your relationship, you are the guy and the PhD student. Men are allowed to go out with whomever they want!

In most cases, it is if the girl has a PhD then the guys in the research group tend to think: why is she not going out with an academic?!

My boyfriend has not gotten the complex of 'am I good enough for her' since we started going out ages before I started my PhD. So he knows that having a PhD, does not mean I am a genius in everything. However, it is getting tiring having to answer to every tom, dick and harry of the academic world.

Plus I just found out that one of my female colleagues broke up with her boyfriend because he got tired of all the questions and simply thought that her friends were talking behind his back about how she should go out with someone more educated. And he had an MBA!

In my lab no one's partner is in science or academia and this doesn't seem to cause any issues (the majority of us are female grads, PhD's or postdocs) - it also means on nights out we don't get stuck talking shop!

I think that works with all jobs too, my boyfriend is a banker and I find listening to conversations about "swap options" and equity and other words I dont understand very boring too!

I was seeing for a long time a well-known fetish model. She was seen as 'good fun' by the [MSc] academic staff that ever met her. I presume it depends greatly on the narrow-mindedness of the individual staff concerned.

Talking shop on nights out? I try to change the subject when my colleagues talk about work at lunchtimes, even when we work on the same thing. Some people really need to get a proper separation between work time and non-work time.