I had a quick search and couldn't find much on this so thought I'd ask others' opinions about this... It might sound strange but I'm having really strange mood swings lately. One minute I think I'm coping or doing fine and then the slightest little thing will make me really angry or tearful, or just put me in a terrible mood for the rest of the day. This is without me even talking about my PhD to anyone - when I talk about it I just get myself all wound up and get really annoyed and upset - my poor boyfriend calls it the 'downward spiral.' I know it must be stress related, I'm about to go into my fourth and final (unfunded) year of my PhD and I'm nowhere close to even having my experiments finished let alone have a draft of the thesis.

I'm doing my best in terms of eating healthy, exercising, making time to relax, having at least one day off a week to recharge etc. but I still feel like crap! I've stopped talking to people about how I'm feeling because it gets them down, my own mother told me I should 'cut this out' incase I drive my boyfriend away! He's also told me it does get him down, so I've stopped talking to him about it too, but it gets pretty lonely at times not being able to have the odd vent. I'm just wondering if anyone is in the same boat or has experienced this previously and I guess any tips for how to manage this would be great. I don't want to wind everyone around me up but equally a bit of support from them would be nice - maybe I need to become a proper exercise freak just to get through the day!

Thanks for reading,
Tulip

I'm at the same stage as you, about to go into fourth year, although luckily I managed to get a 6 month funding extension. I'm not one to talk about work at all, so as soon as I leave the building it also leaves my mind and I just say 'yeah my day was fine' to the boyfriend when he asks! Although coming into the final year I know I have to start working from home and that is stressing me out, but again I don't say much about it to anyone, not saying that's a good thing it's just how I cope. I'm stressing far, far more about the career afterwards though. Although my other half is more like yourself in that he needs to have a massive rant as soon as he walks in the door about his day, so I understand where you are coming from!

If you really need to get things off of your chest, you could always rant on a forum such as this, or call a counselling hotline (I think all Uni's have these). Have you ever tried yoga? I find it helps me to calm down when I'm having a stressful time!

Hi Tulip

I can empathise with the mood swings and the slightest thing being able to alter ones moods dramatically. This is likely a result of you entering a later stage of your PhD, and you feeling down about progress, as you say you are not close to having a draft of your thesis. I think the first thing to remember is, although you are being mindful of how this is impacting on those around you which is very considerate, you do have the right to feel angry or upset at times and everyone needs someone to have a little rant to from time to time. From what you have written, it sounds as though this has been triggered by you getting closer to the end of your phd.

Even though you are taking good care of yourself from the sounds e.g. eating healthily, and ensuring some 'you time' which is great and does remedy some issues related to stress with may people, this must be frustrating as it has not resolved the way you feel. I get the sense that even though you are having some relaxation time, that your thought about your phd are still 'running in the background' of your mind-some become so accostomed to this that they do not notice but it can still impact on your emotions.

Have you tried meditation? There are guided mediations on YouTube and the like which instruct you how to breath etc. This can be a good way of ensuring everything is 'off' in your mind completely which may help-maybe doing ten mins of this just before your allocated relaxation time? Also, as Caro has said, some universities have support lines you can phone which are just there to listen and not advise which may be a good outlet. Just saying your feelings outloud to another person can help you organise them and process them.


Take care x

You sound exactly like I have been the past few months coming up to my PhD submission (no viva here in Australia). One day I'd be fine, happy, and the next prone to depression, lifelessness, frustration. Some days even the thought of unpacking the groceries was too much to handle.

The final year of the PhD is daunting for a variety of reasons. For some, it's the question of whether they'll make it in time/actually finish. For others like myself, it was the fear of the 'what now,' the uncertainty of the next step. For everyone, it's always the question of "will I pass or have to make massive revisions?" prolonging the time-frame.

I don't have any tips to get through it, other then, get through it. It's a step at a time sorta deal, you take it as it comes. Meditation might work, but I think you might want to reflect on what it is exactly about this final year that's sending you in distress.

Is it because once you finish, you'll no longer be a student? There is a comfort in being one, the transition is tough.

Have your supervisors started pulling back/weaning you off? I found that the closer to submission, the less interaction I had with my supervisors. The last meeting I had with the both of them was in March, and I submitted just the start of September. They didn't feel the need to have meetings because they felt I was doing well, but for me it was a bit of a 'wow, I'm moving forward now, they'll no longer be those constants in my life as they were before" which was actually quite sad.

Is it because you're not sure of what your next move is after submission? (My current situation)

Is it because you're not sure whether you'll get thesis finished, or are you unsure about whether you've wasted 4 years on it? (A thought that was always going through my head).

Thanks for your replies guys, they made me feel a lot better at the time of posting this. I've had several more ups and downs since posting this thread, including illness and having to go into hospital, so things are a bit all over the place still.

Caro - I think I will definitely give your suggestion of yoga a try. It's something I've been meaning to try for a while and I've been told it's amazing for clearing the mind. I hope your fourth year is going well and you're feeling a bit calmer about the career plans after the PhD (this is something that worries me a lot too!).

Zutterfly - your post pretty much hit the nail on the head, about the frustration of not really feeling myself despite trying all these things to stay healthy and relaxed. Along with trying yoga I'll also be trying meditation as you suggested, and I'm hoping the two together will help me relax and switch off from work during my down time.

Awsoci - Thanks for your reply. I've been trying to work out lately what it is exactly that has been making me feel stressed, and I think it's a combination of having to figure out a career path and finding a job, and it's also the worry of not really fitting in in a new workplace with new people. I never really clicked with or socialised much with my PhD colleagues and always felt a little sidelined because my circumstances were different (I lived with my boyfriend instead of with other students, and I have some health issues that they never really understood and so treated me a bit differently, etc.). There's also the obvious worry of what if I don't finish on time/end up with a resubmission verdict, etc. Like you said, I guess it's a case of getting through it and hoping that things after the PhD will be better.

Thanks again for the support, it's much appreciated!

Tulip