I know this sounds really silly....but I've been crying already after a week of starting my EngD!!This week has been really overwhelming..after being told by my supervisor that I need to write a 20 page lit review due in a few weeks time I had a panic attack and cried my eyes out at home... and I got even more upset thinking about how I'm going to survive the next 4 years when its only been a week!

I'm already doubting myself aswell because the other first years who are doing a similar EngD to me are all much older than me and have had substantial work experience in the field already whereas I've just graduated from my UG masters degree... I keep worrying about having to talk to these amazing professors and feeling out of my depth.....


:-(

Stop - you are well capable! So what if they have experience - you don't so you have a non-biasd view!
Stop crying and get into gear - sit down in a quiet environment and write down what you think are the main issues ... trust your instinct. Then by using the search engines for papers, find research accordingly. Science Direct and google scholar
I'm sorry but locked at the mo, but trust me, you are underselling yourself. Stop the worrying and even draw up a plan. Even if you did a quick gooogle search on the main topics and thetrain of thought, it would be a start

Bonzo's right - you are capable! You wouldn't have gotten in if you weren't! Have a look at other threads posted this week - there's a lot of people starting their PhD or Masters, and feeling overwhelmed. You're not alone. It's a bit of a shock starting a PhD, but you'll get used to it!! Don't worry about the others and don't compare yourself to them - that's not helpful and it will make you feel worse. You're on a steep learning curve, but you can do it! Little by little and you'll get there!

And a 20p lit review in a few weeks is a lot of work, but just start. Your supervisor probably wants to make sure that you have a goal to work towards and are starting out focused - better than just reading endlessly. So, go for a walk, breathe, have a nice cup of tea, log in to an academic database and start a lit search. Then read 1 article. Then note the main points of the article. Then do another one, and keep going. You might find that you enjoy it!

And come back here for support or to let us know how you're getting on. It will be alright!

Woke up this morning and thought to myself "What did you do last night?" so I had to just check did I say antything ultra-moronic :p

Sue is right - it is a steep learning curve and it seems daunting but no-body said it would be easy. Everybody has to start their profession from a blank and the phd is no way different. It is more about proving your ability to survive the process as much as what you have proven. Just a few things.
1. Get one or two good papers and look for the number of citations (google scholar has that stat). Find the main generic papers and us these to find other papers
2. Get using a good reference application. Endnote seems to be the main one. Don't worry about learning off the functionality for now, but use it to store a list of your references
3. Take notes and from these make out an outline document, which you build on (save each version with the date modified as a means of keeping track)

There are plenty of other bits of advice and this is just one of the places you can get them. The most obvious place you can find this advice is with your colleagues. If they are any way bit decent, they will sit down over a cuppa and give you some advice as to the best authors or the key topics in your area. If they don't, well then you know what you are dealing with. I am sure there will be times when you will impart some of your expertise to them. Also, there is nothing stopping you doing an interim report to the supervisor and just ask for a few pointers.

Don't worry - you are well capable but you must actively remind yourself of that and knock out the naysaying voices. It is hard, but to paraphrase Superchicken's apt phrase ... "You knew the job was dangerous when you took it Fred!"

Thanks Bono and Sue, you've given me some great advice there.... I've printed out a load of papers and I'm in the process of reading them now. Is it just me or does it take forever just to get through one paper? I find myself mainly struggling with the scientific vocabulary.... I make sure I look up every word that I dont understand which is a bit draining but I guess its useful in the long run?

What was it like for you guys in your first year? How did you get yourself out of the undergraduate frame of mind? (being told what to do)

I'll try and think more positively from now on!
Thanks again, its so good to know that I can find support here :-)

Hi there Snoopgirl, nice to meet you :-)

So glad that you're sounding a bit happier today - as the others have said, you are so capable, you've been picked to do this, you can do it, you will do it, and these won't be the last tears either - its a hard road, but as my old Nanna used to say, anything that is worth having is hard to get!

I'm not in the sciences but we're all in the same boat, and yes, a bit longer now just checking out your vocab and terminology is going to save you a lot of heartache in the long run so take the time you need to make sure you know completely what is being said - I actually ended up making a kind of mini terminology dictionary for my own purposes as I'm sure some of it is just long words/complex for the sake of it and I didn't want to use a phrase in the wrong context.

I think we all find the transition from taught to research difficult. Some find it easier than others, but for everyone there's a time when you feel a little lost and so totally out of your depth. The first year I found quite difficult at times, no real research as such, lots of reading, lots of seemingly aimless activity and I had to work hard to convince myself that it was putting in place a good foundation. I ended up sitting down with my supervisor and asking him to basically nudge me in the right direction so that the transition was that bit easier - you have to remember that they are there to help you and to effectively train you for a life in academia and research. The lack of teaching and concrete direction is hard to handle, but you do get used it. Its one of the big things about doing a PhD, for the first time you have someone saying prepare this for me by this date and that is that - no classes to attend every week, no set essay deadlines in the same way that there is for UG and masters, so you have to learn to set your own deadlines. A lot of the more experienced people on here have suggested the use of big calenders which you use to mark your deadlines, and keep track of your progress. Its all about learning how to motivate yourself, keep motivated and keep going even when all you want to do is sit and cry and you've made that first step so you're well on your way :-)

That is one reason why I personally find this forum so useful - its so good to be able to talk to other people at differing stages in their journey through the PhD (and out the other end) and to learn techniques from them.

Snoops - I would have to largely agree with Stressed on the first year. If I had to go back in time, I would have been far more disciplined and tackling the PhD in a deliverable manner i.e. specific targets rather than "Ah sure read away there for a year!". True, you need to read to find your niche, but unless this is recorded it does seem aimless at times. So, see this Lit Review as your first target. Like a painting, build it up in layers. It is in no ways meant to be journal quality so don't worry about writing style for now.
Practical tip: If your college runs courses on PhD topics, such as presenting, referencing etc., sign up for them. If you have to go back and do it again in a year or two, so what! They usually only last a day anyways. As well as being useful directly, they are also a good way to meet likeminds.
As for papers, read the intro and conclusion fast and make a decision then ... there is some utter drivel printed! But I cannot stress this ... Get a system of referencing in place now! No matter how valuable you think the paper is and that how could you forget it, you will! I use Endnote but was using it for the Masters so it wasn't new. Find out what other people use (and forget making up your own system - it won't work).
And as for the panic when ya heard that you had to have this done - that is a normal reaction and drives home the fact that you are now responsible for doing a bit more than learning off theorems etc.
The PhD is a job but look about you next time in the office ... do the people have two heads or Noble prizes - NO! They are the same as you.

BTW its Bonzo ... I am no way affiliated to that bunch of jackeens U2 ...:p

I can totally sympathise! I just started an intelligent systems PhD. a couple of weeks ago (straight from an undergrad) and went through something fairly similar. But then when I did finally make a start and took a step back from the situation it was no where near as scary as I had made it out to be. Everyone has to start from the beginning at some time and I bet you couldn't have imagined yourself where you are now when you started your undergrad. But here you are and you deserve it! I would definitely sign up for loads of classes with the other PhDs as they can all sympathise as I can tell you from experience, are all as freaked out as you are! It's OK. If it was easy, sure, everyone would be doing it!(up)