Hi guys, i hope someone out there may be able to give me some comforting advice!
I've just worked my way through a year of a 1+3 scholarship and started my MPhil this academic year, however, have just been told my writing is not up to scratch, and - to my horror - that my writing is actually regressing back to an undergraduate level instead of progressing to an acceptable academic style expected of a PhD. In fact (again to my complete and utter horror) my last piece of submitted work was so poor my supervisor has sent me away to think if i actually want to do a PhD, adding that i may not be capable of it.
I would like to know if anyone thinks giving up now is the right thing to do, or whether i should fight the good fight, because my ideas aren't the problem. Or, also, if anyone else has submitted 'substandard' work but has eventually made their way past it?
I have had a few writing classes, but as far as i'm concerned, i cannot wake up one day and be a professional writer ... or can i?? Please help!!!

Lillilly - first of all, you CAN and WILL do this! Was at a workshop held by the college here given by Hugh Kearns from Australia (see this link ... http://ithinkwell.com.au/). He made some obvious but great points.
1. Did you write before - you did!
2. Did your writing before let you down - it didn't!
3. Is every "draft" the finished article - no, by its nature it is a "work in progress"
4. Are you doing the PhD to learn - you are! You must learn how to write academically ... in short, review what is there in a critical manner and fit that in with your work
5. Are you a moron - No!
6. Are you receiving specific and constructive feedback and moreso are you asking for that? Are you getting back vague instructions and basically being told to read the journal works of others, who had to start somewhere. The journal article that gets published on first draft is a <.0000000000001% rarity (I'm talking not even internal reviews here)
You don't become a bad writer, but the unfortunate thing is we all should be writing more in order to get more practise. You are right - you can't wake up and become a prof.
Because we are somewhat intelligent, we are experts at finding ways to avoid the dreaded prospect of writing (distractions like forums get in the way :p )
Get your ideas down in an outline document, go back to your supervisor and explain these in terms of your project. If this is agreed, well then take one section at a time and ask for constructive feedback, not a quick appraisal. If ye are agreed on the theme and flow of the document, the writing style can then be worked on.

At worst case your supervisor will not want to see you go - at best, he/she has thrown down the gauntlet.

like any kind of writing, I think reading must come first -and I don't mean for content. I mean for style. E.g. if you read the daily mail :-s then you will end up writing like it. If you read enough academic journals, you will end up writing like them. Why not have a flick through any of your sups publications and see how they structure their writing and what kind of phrases they use to make points. I know in my field its all

"in terms of...."

e.g. "in terms of interventions, they can be successful, in terms of..."

There are some really good books out there too which help - one that I can't remember whcih is often references on here. It has simple things like using commas rather than brackets. e.g. rather than "I like chocolate (although it makes me fat) because its yummy" you would put "I like chocolate, although it makes me fat, because it's yummy"

Also - get a nice fat thesaurus. All those 'however' can turn into 'consequently' 'conversly' 'despite' etc.

Hi Bonzo,
Thanks for that, there's some really good advise there which i will definitely think about.
I think that i don't ask for constructive feedback enough, and moreover, do not have one of these great relationships with my supervisor that some other people have.
Its just such a knock down to be compared to an undergraduate after completing two pretty good Masters, i think my confidence has hit an all time low which prompted such self-doubt!
Today's meeting in which these concerns were raised with my sup just felt like i was expected to just p*** off and forget about what i was here to do purely on the basis of writing, which, as you pointed out, CAN be improved with time and effort. I'm just worried they do just want me out. :-s
I know a PhD is a hard slog, but i couldn't imagine doing anything else right now.

Maybe that is his management style. Have you ever seen kitchen nightmares - Gorden Ramsey ALWAYS knocks them down, makes them feel like crap and then they end up trusting him and having happy ever after lives lol
Maybe he thinks its the best way to motivate you!

ah ha!

http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=IAy6NCD0Iq0C&printsec=frontcover&dq=elements+of+style#v=onepage&q=&f=false

Thanks Sneaks,
I think you are right, reading comes before writing, and although i don't read the daily mail (!), it is a possibility that i don't think about the style of my sup's work or of journal articles whilst i am reading them.
I am so very willing to improve on my writing skills, i just can't help but feel i should have this awesome writing style already pinned down by now! I naively thought if i got immersed in my field work now i could sort out the writing as i developed. I guess its a little bit more immediate than that now.

:p
Sneaks, you have made my day, i knew i was doing something right!

I think you will do this fine. I think you need more detailed feedback however. What is wrong with your writing? Is it how you structure your argument? How you support your argument with evidence? is is how you phrase things or the type of vocab you use? Could it be you need to break your writing up with titles? Do you provide enough signposting?

Just saying its 'undergrad standard' is not enough and you clearly can't progress until there is some more detailed information about your style.

Honestly, i was a bit shocked to ask what exactly was wrong, but as far as i know the following are the major points:

1) General phrase and vocab are an issue. I tend to use too many words/ and overcomplicated phrases to describe what i'm talking about. But in social science, this is how i feel i have been trained. Overly complex terms and jargon have become too natural to me, but i haven't found a balance of explaining them without assuming my reader is a complete idiot.
2) Structure is a big issue. I lose the narrative and logical flow of my arguments, but i think i knew this already. Much of my work thus far has been under pressure and i think i lose sight of this when trying to achieve deadlines. Especially at the moment, when i'm attempting to do field work AND write, AND read.
3) Also, I think i have started to over-use subtitles to help me understand where i am going, but which may break up my 'story' too much.

I have been told there is a big discrepancy between some of my current work and some of my previous MA pieces, demonstrating that my writing has gone downhill, but have been told to go away and see this for myself, so i guess this is my next goal.

In terms of structure ALWAYS start with a plan e.g. intro, theory 1, theory 2, comparison, conlucsion. And lots of signposting!

In terms of making your writing simpler - I personally don't have that problem and am always trying to find 'big words' in my thesaurus lol. But my supervisor says she prefers is when I write normally. I think I just imagine explaining it to my husband, who is not a complete moron, he has his own PhD, but not in my area, so although he gets the basics, he needs the otherstuff explained in a less jargony way.

haha just re-read my post and saw that i have put 'in terms of' oh dear!

You make a lot of sense to me, in fact, i think there is a lot of common sense to writing in general.
However i think i have always known what my problems are and have yet attempted to really put them into practice.
I'm so embarrassed to be working at this level and asking what seems to be so many silly questions!
I feel thoroughly stupid having got this far and only just beginning to address these problems.

everyone feels silly most of the way through their PhD and if they don't they're lying! Other people will have other developmental stuff to be doing e.g. presenting, writing for journals, teaching etc.

Just do what you need to in order to develop yourself and stuff what other people think!