So I went to a 3 day conference recently. Together with my 2 supervisors and other people from various parts of the world. I wasn't presenting just listening in.

Anyway, there were no students there and there were "social" activities like lunches and dinners. All the people there are hard core academics. All they talk about are papers, grants and various issues concerning those. I felt awakward and uncomofrtable 90% of the time. I barely had anything to add to the conversation and proceeded to stay silent most of the time. I'm sure they all think that I'm a complete idiot.

By the way, I'm just starting my second year as PhD student. This has happened to me before on another conference I have been on, and I can't help but hear this voice screaming in my head "You don't belong here!!"

I have my doubts about my abilities, but seeing those people "in action" makes my doubts about million times worse. I mean they are all nice enough but pretty much pretend like I'm invisible.

Is feeling like this even close to normal?

Hi LostinOz,
I don't know if this is normal, but you have a mate!
I feel like that 80% of the time. I wouldn't blame myself too much though. These people know very well that it's not easy for person at this early stage to join in a consolidated group of established scholars. Of course there is an issue with me - and probably you - being shy and self-conscious, however I think that our supervisors especially, should make an effort to help us in these situations. Some of them just don't think about it, but others are just rude or selfish.
I am learning slowly how to cope, but everything ends up in the bin if in the group there is a mate with a 'primadonna' attitude. I am very confident with my topic, but this does not always help.
Anyway, try to be positive. It's not easy, but as I said, you are not alone!

Hi LOstinOz,

like Corinne is saying you are not on your own.

I have been to a conference a few months ago, was there on my own and found it really difficult to start a conversation at the tea breaks. Quite hard to go to someone and say "How are you?, please allow me to introduce myself" etc. Even harder to do so in a group of people.
Anyway in the evening there was a party, and I thought I cannot stand down here on my own the whole evening, so I actually started talking to some people and surprise, suprise they were very friendly and down to earth, yet turned out to be editors from some medical journals and really encouraged me regarding my research. So after all it was a very good experience!

I feel like that all the time. I think it happens when you get a group of PhD students together. They just get all odd & competitive (though not always in an obvious way), and this leads to a feeling of intense discomfort. Most likely, you do belong & they don't

has happened to me before. in an international conference. i sat next to these oxbridge and harvard professors during dinner. they kept going on about stuff i couldn't contribute on. they tried to include me by trying to talk about sports and wine and that but by that time i had decided that making an effort was no good. during the boat trip, no one spoke to me either. and yes, i went alone. other phd students all knew each other and hang out with their sups. so i can emphathise.

This happened to me in Amsterdam last month; the conference was heavily geared towards industry and everyone else seemed to be part of a company group. They really were not interested in talking to anyone outside their group, and the few times I tried I was met with polite disinterest. In the end I wondered why they went, if they didn't want to meet anyone else.

Still, I had a good time in Amsterdam so stuff them

Hi there,
I think it is normal in the sense that you perhaps are intimidated by all those academics. I know I feel I don't belong in academia sometimes, and I just think that I am not (and perhaps never will be) as intellectual as the academic staff here. Having said that though, I am sure all those academics weren't just born like that so they too had to go through some "training" lets say. It's like being the new kid on the block, so I think eventually we'll get there

i wouldn't call it intimidation CompSci. its more being unfriendly. Juno - mine was in Amsterdam as well. everyone, stay well away from Amsterdam conferences!!!!

I didn't even go on the boat trip. Like you say, couldn't be bothered by that stage.

Was it at the Movenpick conference centre?

it was somewhere in Zandvort. beautiful beach, but again i was alone and i don't speak Dutch so the beach wasn't much fun either. we only went to Amsterdam for a day and i think it was at a lawfirm and then the tour of the town followed. it was in Sept and i almost froze in my suit during the boat trip. never again!

you are not alone. If not CV and an opportunity to travel on the expenses of the department, I would not go to conferences, as they make me feel as the most boring, uninteresting person with a lack of communication skills. Especially bad are large congresses and conferences. But very good are very small specialised conferences, there everyone is usually very interested in each others work and very open to new contacts. So one suggestion is to look for specialised conferences on your topic.

I've felt exactly like that. Even when I went with a supervisor and PhD related to my group they pretty much talked to each other, wanted to be alone during the half day off, and didn't want to meet at meals. I was pretty miserable, and not even comfortable about my research which was on a narrow topic of the conference and had a small board at the back of the room. My supervisor never suggested appropriate conferences to go on, I found out by chance or by grilling my supervisor/advisor for suggestions. My supervisor just went off with his friends when he was at the same conference. He didn't think it was even worth updating my poster for the conference as people would ask if they were interested.