Hi there guys,

I know I am being ridiculously juvenile in this one, but upon reading 4 paras of feedback from my sup on a paper for submission, which she has asked me to re-write, pointing out flaws in minute, minute things from structure, to tone, to argument, to incorrect referecing, to you name it...

upon reading it, I have just decided to not write any more.

Just thesis chapters,. No more presentation, publication writing. (this is hurting me so much, this decision, for I love juggling mulotiple things, and writing is my first love)

But the point is, I completely know I am being silly. The feedback is absolutely bang on correct, honest and I agree with every point and I know her function was not to be a family member and say 'these are golden words' but that of a critical reviewer who will prepare me to preapre my writing to be reviewed and even praised by others.

But I have reacted by deciding to stop writing.

I am feeling so pathetic.

Arrgh... Ok, maybe I am the one who is going to sound naive, and I understand where you are coming from (especially as I struggle to take criticism in general) but maybe it'd help to see things from a different angle - like, she's not just trying to be objective and all, but trying to protect you and just help you improve your work?

I mean, I'm just starting my PhD (have not even had my first meeting with my supervisor yet!) but I've been working for various universities for a while, in direct contact with lecturers most of the time, and many of them just like the tough love sort of thing... To be honest those are, I believe, the most "caring" of all!

Not sure it'll help you find some motivation again right now, but in case... Anyhow, you shouldn't blame yourself, it IS hard to cope with criticism, especially if you feel it is justified. It's just a case of giving yourself a little time to get over it and react appropriately - I think ;-)

Look Bug, you can't give up!! :-s

Put the paper aside for a couple of days, and then get back into it. If I'm willing to go thru the torturous, torturous process of completely rewriting an article that had already been accepted with no further changes, so can you!! You love writing, whereas me, it's just a means to an end. It's taken me all weekend to rewrite the first 9 pages, I've got another 36 to go but will do it!!

If this was a 'real' job, you wouldn't have the option of not rewriting, you'd just have to do it until your boss was happy. Same here. And in academia, I'm adraid we're going to have to rewrite until we're sick to death of it!!

My supervisor is also very handy with a red pen, and I don't handle criticism all that well either, but after I've made the changes, the papers/chapters are always much, much better. That's their job, that's why they're so brilliant, becuse of these criticical faculties. We're learning as we go, and hopefully improving all the time.

So, pick it up again in a couple of days, and just get back into it!

mm, stop being childish and realise that she is trying to help you! you are her student, it is her job to guide you... if you give up now, she probably will too- and you would rather receive honest and helpful feedback rather than empty praise, I assure you.

I'm the same Bug, I've never been able to take criticism well.  I find i revert to a child-like state when it happens - toys out of the pram sort of thing.

Having said that, i am not as bad as i used to be. I think it's one of those things you can become hardened to.  I recon if you dust yourself off, start writing and GET IT DONE, you'll get your confidence back. And next time when criticised, you'll be able to handle it better and not take it so badly.  It's like building up a callus.

Also, if you don't know where to start, the beginning is always a good place to try. 
(up)

Thanks all,

I guess, having slept over it, what I want truly, is not empty praise of course, but also as detailed an account of 'what has worked' in a piece, in addition to 'what needs improvement/revision'.

I am recruitng all over first fortnight of Oct, and then in 3 countries in the second fortnight, and then it's the deadline. I am also working/teaching/attending a class etc. I am not saying I wont have time to get back to it, but I am finding myself unable to even look at her feedback let alone the paper.

I completely agree with what you all say below. And I am grateful that I have a sup who is so very demanding when it comes to quality. She herself, perfects her writing, chiseling little sentences here and there, and seeks feedback from her peers who are scholars as well known and even her youngest students.

The point is that, I am, despite being on the board with all of you, feeling unable to return to this paper anymore.

Let's drop it now for some time, let me see if I can come back to it.

But yes, i am indeed reacting in a weird way, I do not usually do this!

Bug - can we swap supervisors???? Your one sounds as if she does actually take time to read what you have prepared and is working towards getting it finished. I know there is a feeling that "Hey, this is my work, not yours!" so maybe bring up this concern with her in a diplomatic fashion i.e. is there corrections that COULD be made and corrections that HAVE to be made?
Take a break from the paper for a while and if necessary, give it to someone else just to see their feedback. Sounds as if you have a very considerate super so don't rock the boat too much.
On an eight draft of a paper now and feedback is f**king piecemeal.

Any chance of passing some of my work as your own to get some feedback ... sure, your supervisor will be a bit shocked at the change of topic, but just say you had a St. Paul "Road to Damascus" epiphany 8-)

On the long term, at least now you know somebit of how your super's style of writing is like and can save yourself time in the future by incorporating that with your own. See it as taking a bit from someone who has got thro' and seems to be way stronger from it.

Now, I don't know what the weather is like there, but I'm off out into the garden with the lit review, some orange and ice, ciggies and some Steve von Till on the cd player (now there is one guy I would love as being me supervisor ... he actually is a teacher and all!). If you haven't listened to his stuff, I'd recommend it!

Oh Bug, I hear you hon! It sounds (as ever you mad woman ;-) ) that you have so much on your plate right now that this is just one thing too many and the toys have well and truly flown out of the pram. I too indulge occasionally in a bout of 'la la, I can't hear you - head under the desk - go on strike' type behaviour and I think that sometimes its just necessary to put it to one side (preferably under a pile of 'stuff' so you can't see it) and ignore it for a few days until you feel able to take a peek. You'll get back to it, you always do, you're bloody brilliant Bug and put most of the rest of us to shame with the sheer volume of work and the quality of work you do, so you're allowed a minor tantrum now and then ;-)

As you say, your sup is fantastic, absolutely amazing, and she's just trying to help. But when you've done what you consider the best you can do, have so much work on it'd be enough to make Superman crack, and then you get that back its hardly surprising you have a flip out. Just get back to it when you can and ignore it for now - its Sunday, have an afternoon off for once, chill out, put your feet up, and relax then you'll feel far more able to deal with it constructively than you do right now :-)

Bonzo, sounds like a marvellous plan, but where on earth are you based?? Its freezing here lol, well, maybe a slight over-exaggeration, but its certainly not nice chilling in the garden weather - I so wish it was, I'm going green with envy at your afternoon plans!

Scratch that last post ... it is actually a bit nippier out now! Moved inside but gonna go for a walk later.
Moved into a small house I inherited from the uncle and best thing for separating myself being near the college. Commute is rotten but only doing it 2-3 times a week. It really does bring home (excuse the pun) that it is work! Using a dictaphone to take down thoughts on the journey and it helps to just over-worrying about stuff and especially now since I have to work more externally (funding is finito!). Three years in and a long way to go, but a change of scenery is well worth it... if ye get the chance do it!!

Sorry for the digression, but in order to get a bit of perspective, Bug, get other people to read your work. A tip if that is not an option, read your writing aloud to yourself ... it really does help in helping in "What was I thinking there?". Bug - I think it was yourself that broached the idea of having a distinctive tips/suggestion section - any more on that notion? I'd be more than willing to put down a few tips (learnt from mistakes over the years :$

Hi Bonzo, people who've seen my work recently have actually extended nice little opportunities for me, so I'm taking it that things are fine. Other profs included...

Stressed, do I want to hug you so much!!! You are so sweet, I'm not half as brilliant (or even good) as you paint me out to be, but you made me smile so widely! And you are so correct with that head-under-the-desk metaphor, that's exactly where I am right now. la-la can't hear anyone.

Ever since reading (and unfortunately responding as well:$) to that feedback email, I have been feeling like I'm 2 yrs old or something.

I think I actually replied saying something like I shant write again or something (well, not quite, but similar) but once-in-a-bluemoon tantrums are excused around here :-)

you be miffed if you want to be, we've all been there, given in something that we thought was good, only to have it pulled apart. Throw those toys if you need to, but don't stop writing because of it. It is just a little hitch upon the way. A bit of 'that bit is good' would probably have changed your perspective a little, but what's done is done, it can't be undone, but you can rise above it . Every time I hand in something I fear the response, but so far it hasn't been too bad, my supervisors make lots of comments, most are positive, with ways to improve what I have written, some are a bit off the mark, but tend to show where I need more explanation to make the meaning clear to those not so immersed in the subject. (some comments suggest where things are in need of total rewriting of course :$). onward and upward I say, keep going, cast that particular paper aside if you feel like it, but don't stop.

Thanks Joyce, yes a bit of that bit is good would have helped. Person concerned is rushed off her feet, truly though. As a result, the 'that bit is good' has become the regular introductory 'this is good, i liked reading it' and then.... haha.

It's a cynical mo I think.

Thinking, what if I didnt take up this offer and had taken up those US fellowships instead. Would have missed a great sup and all fantastic research experiences, but wouldnt have had to work, would have had more free time, less tension, less worry, all research time...better productivity..bla bla...

all the 'what if's hit you when you are down.