Hi there:-)
I'm an Australian Phd student in Sociology. I've been doing a PhD for nearly 5 years (with time off for work and babies) now and am probably about half way through writing it (I have 4 complete chapters). I'm having a major crisis at the moment: I just don't want to finish it. I decided a while ago that academic life was not for me (i.e. I don't want to teach AT ALL) but quite enjoy research work and have had a part time job on a research project for the last 2 years. I wake up each morning depressed and feeling the burden of having to face my thesis. I struggle to write anything and have no interest or passion for it anymore. When I think about letting it go, I feel instantaneously happy - I know I'd be a better person without it in my life and I'd have no regrets. But ethically I feel I SHOULD finish it because I was funded for it (money has no run out however), because I received travel grants, because my supervisor has put so much effort and faith in me, because my family would be disappointed if I didn't finish etc etc. I would also feel like I'd wasted 5 years of my life- although when i think about this rationally, I know I,ve grown intellectually and emotionally in that time, I've had children and I've had many wonderful opportunities for travel and conferences and work opportunities. But I feel like I've reached the end and i can't go on. The last 3 mornings I've just sat in my car and cried before dragging myself to my office to sit at a computer staring at words that no longer mean anything to me anymore. What do i do? What happens when you drop out? I'd imagine the university would be quite peed off?? What are my obligations to my university and supervisor? Any advice appreciated
thanks

I should add that If elt this way for at least 2 years so its not a hasty decision. 18 months ago I told my supervisor I wanted out and she convinced me to stay.

I left a full-time funded PhD in 1996, due to developing a progressive serious illness. My funding was still current then, so stopped immediately when I left. I didn't have to pay anything back. I had no obligations to the university or my supervisor, although my leaving and not completing would have reduced the amount of funded places my department would get over the next few years. But I couldn't do anything about that.

If you feel this bad maybe you should leave. But equally you are near the end. You'll also have to think how you explain the last 5 years on CVs and in job applications. That wasn't a problem for me because I'm too ill to work, though I did have to explain it when I applied for another PhD, part-time this time, and in a diametrically opposite discipline.

Talk honestly to your supervisor. I did this, and then made the decision to leave. I emailed my decision to my supervisor, which was the easy way out. I wish I'd had the courage to say goodbye.

Hi Trillian, Would a possible option be for you to convert your PhD to a MPhil or Masters by Research, and use the work you have already done to complete that qualification quickly, get credit for your work so far and get it out of your life? I really hope you find a solution soon, ultimately though, what's best for you and your family matters more than institutional obligations. All the best.

Can you convert to a Masters by research? With 4 chapters, you should be able to finish up with a masters, then you will have something to show for all of your hard work, and will able to continue with your research work.

Best of luck

Hi Trillian,

I am also a PhD student in Sociology.
I'm in the Republic of Ireland, going into my third year.
Like you, I wake up with the thesis hanging over me, so much so that I even devised ways to avoid leaving the house, so as to avoid the thesis.
I have about three chapters prepared, my biggest problem was access (it has taken me 2 years to get about 7 participants) and I just cant give any more of my life to this. It has almost sucked the life out of me.
I am disappointed in myself, I had such passion for the subject for my undergrad and MA, now I am just using up a funding stream that would benefit someone who has the energy and enthusiasm.
Have you resolved your situation?
I don't know i its even worth submitting my chapters for an MPhil degree, I feel like a total fraud!
I am also thinking, what can I really do with these degree's in this discipline? There were some opportunities before this 'economic crisis', but realistically, these degree's will only serve to better my critique of the 'new' world we now live in, rather than get me a job!

and lets face it, its a job we need!


apologies to everyone for that rant, I needed to get it off my chest

Sam

thanks for your replies. i met with my supervisor yesterday and we talked about my next chapter- I'm going to see how i go writing this one and take it from there. I'm not sure i can change to a Masters at this institution... that would be ideal though. I'm going to check that out today:-)
Just curious too about how long it generally takes people to finish a doctorate? As i said, I'm into my 5th year (with breaks) and have been pretty much doing part-time for most of it. Its seems like such a long time!
I'm feeling better today- i think just getting my feelings off my chest helped. thanks again!

Hi Trillian,
I'm pretty sure that most colleges offer the MPhil/MRes option for students in your position and to be honest, there's a growing body of universities that are offering this option because it is considered as a secondary, superior masters degree. Basically, its as high on the academic ladder one can get, without becoming an academic. Since it seems that you don't really want to be an academic, then you're at the top of the tree!

But fundamentally, if you're depressed, get help! You seem to be a bit lost as regards where you want to be. Your parents, friends and family will understand whatever you do, you're not going to disappoint them at all.

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