Hi all.

Haven't posted for a long while, but I feel like I've hit a bad patch. You know, that time when you think what's the point of putting myself through this for a PhD? I'm panicking about not being able to find participants and also that the research methods I'm planning to use are all wrong :-( I'm one year in now and feel like I should be so much further along. Any words of encouragement and how you got through a similar time would be greatly appreciated (up)

Hi Lemonjuice,

sorry to hear you are feeling low at the moment. When I finished my first year (I am in a science PhD) I had:
-a good literature review (I spent long hours reading and writing)
- ethical approval (was complicated because I was working with children)
- selected all my equipment and my methodology (with help from my supervisor, I was presenting him the options, advantages -disadvantages, and he would take the final decision taking into account financial considerations)
- was ready for my upgrade
-We approached my participants in September probably (that was the last thing we did)

Finding participants is stressful. You never know if your research methods work until you start your analysis.

I would definitely recommend a pilot study before you start your main study.

Good luck

Hi Lemonjuice

In my first year, to be honest, I did not achieve much. I am in a humanities course so I work with texts and concepts. I mainly did a lot of reading and discussed what I read with my SV. I had a chance to present a portion of my work in the Uni's Postgrad Conference. Then I had to take a leave of absence for two months due to a sickness. Got back to work on a few texts and resumed meetings with my SV. I also attended a few Masters class to get a clearer understanding of certain concepts. I'm now in my 20th month and have written some 30 K words...not much, I know. Sometimes I wonder if I would be able to finish before my funds run out ; that is a miserable thought itself ! I just push on anyway. Hope I have given you at least a little hope and encouragement though. Take care.

Thanks for your replies. I have to say I'm feeling much, much worse at the moment compared to when I last posted. I've been very low and have thoughts of killing myself, I know it's very serious now. I want to quit, but the thought of doing so and the shame/humiliation involved is overwhelming. I just want to crawl away and hide all day and think the PhD is causing a large part of these feelings. Guess I'm just not cut out for this.

Hi Lemonjuice,
You need to go and see a doctor, and explain how you are feeling. You are right it is serious, it sounds like you are depressed and need some medical attention. Is there a uni counselor, or a friend or family member you can talk to as well?

It sounds to me like you need to take a break from your phd, and take care of yourself. A phd can be incredibly stressful, and depression is very common. It doesn't mean you are incapable or weak in any way, most people who do a phd have low points and feel awful at some stage, I know I have many times. You can get through it, but you just need to get some help and support first. And if you decide to quit, there is no shame in that, there are many other amazing things that you could do instead. But don't make this decision now.

Please talk to someone you trust, and keep us updated on how you are feeling.
*hugs* E x

Hello mate,

Mate, I don't have anything constructive to say (and I'm afraid to say the wrong things), but could you take a leave? Depression is an illness and it needs to be taken care; you are the priority; it has always been about you; the PhD is second and screw what others think; they are not important; you are important.
Take care of yourself first. Once you're ready, then you could start with the work : )

*bro hug*

Hi Lemonjuice, how are things at the moment? Please let us know how you are doing.