Hi all

I know there is many other posts on this site regarding the same issue but I've hit a wall and I am really struggling to get though it.

I am in my second year of study and for the past 6 weeks I have been unemployed so I have had plenty of time to work on my PhD but I just can't seem to find the motivation. Between the stress of being unemployed (waiting to start a new job which is taking ages), financial problems causing arguments between me and my partner, had to get my wee cat put down 2 weeks ago which was awful and also added to the financial issues and my only supervisor being off sick and not replying to any emails, I feel like I've got everything against me atm. I sit down at my desk and I know I've got plenty to be getting on with and I just seem to sit and stare at the screen until time disappears.

I've tried writing to-do lists, I've tried changing what I am working on so I don't get bored, I've tried contacting someone else at the University for advice on when my supervisor will be back. I've sent a few abstracts to conferences later in the year and I've finalised my survey which I can't disseminate until my supervisor signs off on it. I've started writing a paper which I've been meaning to start all year but can't seem to stay focussed on it long enough to get anywhere with it.

I know I should be using this time off constructively and I have all the best intentions in the world when I get up but then it all goes out the window when I sit down at my desk and feel totally deflated. It doesn't help that I am 5 hours away from my university so I can't go in and sort things out regarding my supervisor.

Is anyone else feeling the same?

Hi clairaN

I'm sorry to hear that you're having a tough time atm. It's horrible when things like this happen, and all too often, life gets in the way of the PhD and what you're trying to do.

I have no revolutionary advice, but the first thing you need to do is take a deep breath. You've got a lot going on and everyone goes through periods of their PhDs when they feel like they're making no progress and beat themselves up about it. From what you've said, it actually sounds like you're doing quite a lot: sending abstracts; finalising your survey; and starting writing a paper - recognise this and give yourself a break. You're also being proactive by making the long journey into uni to try to sort out your supervisor issues. Well done!

So, it seems like you're doing a lot. Maybe you really need to prioritise what you want to work on. Do you want to write? In which case, have you tried restricting your time at the desk? Rather than sitting down and staring at the computer screen for hours, use pomodoros (20 min timer sessions) and only allow yourself to sit there for an hour or so at a time. Write! Write anything - it doesn't matter if it's rubbish. I always found that just getting something down would help, even if I scrap it all later.

If you need to get your survey out, what did the people at university say about your supervisor? Do you have a second supervisor? Maybe it's worth going in and spending more time finding out what you should do about that.

I don't know if that helps, but I really think you're probably doing more than you realise. It felt like I had vast gaps of time when I wasn't making progress, but I am getting there. Let me know if you need anything else and good luck

=D

Hi claira

I'm so sorry to hear about your cat - as a fellow cat person, I have been there a few times and it is awful. I'm sorry to hear about your spell of unemployment as well. Although it might technically give you more time for your PhD, it sounds like emotionally your needs are somewhere else just now. Are you due any time off? Maybe even just taking a couple of days would help to re-set things a bit?

As glowworm says, it does sound like you're managing more than you think at the moment. My advice would be to go easy on yourself, accept that this is a difficult time for various reasons and take some time out to de-stress.

Thanks very much. It is reassuring to hear you both say I am possibly doing more than I think, it certainly doesn't feel that way. I have taken a week off and done other things and socialised with friends and thought that would be enough to bring my head back to the right place but that was the week my cat died so it didn't help much to be honest.

I don't have a second supervisor, she is my only one. Which hasn't been a problem until the past few months. The trouble is she happens to be the director of graduate education at my university so everyone I speak to has said they would usually advice me to speak to her which obviously is a tremendous help.

I'm trying to sort things out via email and the phone as I can't really afford to travel down at the moment and I'm not sure it would help much anyway. So far, everyone has advised me to wait for her to return to work and do what I can until then.

I think the fact that I'm off work at the moment has actually added to the pressure rather than relieved it because I keep thinking I've got all this time and I'm not using it as I should be whereas when I'm working full time I know my days off are set aside for PhD stuff and I have a set routine I stick to.

So my supervisor came back to work today and this afternoon has emailed to say after this week she is taking the rest of August off so anything I need to know I should ask this week. I've arranged to have a phone supervision with her on Wednesday and would like to broach the subject of getting me a second supervisor. Every time I've mentioned this in the past she keeps brushing it off but I am struggling with all her time off at the moment.

How do I say I need someone who I can rely on without rocking the boat. I generally get on with her quite well.

Maybe try to word it like you are taking the pressure off of her. Something like 'I know you are going through a tough time not being well, so I thought that if I got a second supervisor it would take some stress away from you so that you have the time to get better'. Then it doesn't seem like you're not happy with her, but are concerned for her. I hope you get it all sorted soon! =)

Thanks for the advice Caro. That's what I went with but she's not buying it. She said they are working on getting me a second supervisor (been working on it since I started) but because she is an experienced supervisor they are not too bothered. I explained that while she is an experienced supervisor it's no use to me when she's off and I'm flying solo.

I also recently found out that she's got another PhD student who is doing something very similar to me and since her other student confronted her about us both practically doing the same thing, she has changed my research and mde it sound like that was always the plan. I'm starting to get really annoyed with the whole thing.