...to one's parents ?

I've been unemployed since April due to an unfair dismissal.

My family knows nothing about this, except for my baby sister and brother. I am the guarantor of their study loans, so I felt I had to let them know.

My parents have hinted on me to help them renovate the house, etc, etc, and such matters which involves having lots of money. They still think that I am teaching at the uni.

Does anyone know if it is worth it to have a good talk with them about MY finances ?

Oh CB, very sorry to hear about the unfair dismissal. Wishing you all the best and hope very much that there is rewarding work around the corner.

Yes, tell them. You can't be expected to support your family (of origin-as in siblings and parents) financially. Particularly now, when you need your all of your own resources to help you find more employment.

I don't know your parents, so I wouldn't know how to go about this (saying this as I am surprised a little that they seem to be looking to you for support but I don't know the circumstances) but if they are hard people to say this to directly then write them a sincere letter-saying how hard it has been for you to let them know but you are hoping that this letter will help them understand your circumstances better.

You really need to let them know (even if they are worriers or would get upset or critical). Right now you need support and by not letting them know, they may keep hinting for financial support (or have I misread your post-very sorry if I have).

Best of luck CharlieBrown-but let them know and then keep up your energy and positivity for the hunt for new employment.

PS: Is there anything you can do about the unfair dismissal -legally or through workplace authorities or similar?

Thanks Pjlu for your kind advice.

In some communities, the grown-up child is expected to contribute to the family's expenses, especially during festivities. I had been doing this for the past few years, but I don't think I can do this with my currently miserable finances.

I am going to let my mom know about the state I am in very soon.

Regarding my unfair dismissal, there were a few other tutors facing the same predicament in my uni. Basically, we were booted out as we did not manage to submit in 4 years' time. I managed to submit just in time, but as I had two leave of absences (in the UK), my uni back home refused to recognise this extra extension period.

I don't wish to pursue this matter due to personal reasons. I would rather find a post somewhere else.

I sympathise. I also have to cover my mum and dad's expenses because of bad economy. Good news is that If you are in the UK, the Xmas period is great to make extra money if you work as a temp. Who knows? They may even keep you employed after the end of the holidays.

Sorry to hear about your current situation but you have to answer me something! Were you the happiest person in this world when you were employed? or Are you the saddest when things are not working out? I understand the fact that time is indeed BAD for you (which will eventually pass) but there is nothing to hide! You have to tell them that you are facing a trouble. I am sure home renovation can take a break but just don't create that sort of void in relationships. I hope you will understand :) Good luck!

Thanks Elizabeth & Marasp for your views.

I am not in the UK at the moment; I'm back in my home country. I suppose I am still lucky because there are many part-time tutor posts in my subject area.The downside is that one needs to travel to get to the colleges/unis, and this may take some one or two hours.

I am hopeful that there will be one or two colleges/unis who might be interested in me in the next few months. Failing that, I will just go the part-time route and divide my time between two or three colleges.

Charlie,

I don't think you were right hiding this from your parents, however, I appreciate cultural issues may be involved. I would advise you talked to them at the earliest opportunity and explain exactly what happened. Allowing this false impression of your circumstances may create more difficulties as time goes on.

I know a former colleague from my PhD days who faced the situation you described almost exactly. He overran and despite extenuating circumstances he was dismissed. You say it's personal, however, posting a less personalised version of your story may allow us to offer advice.

Have you checked employment law in your home country as the situation you describe may allow you to sue for unfair dismissal. A letter from the UK university explaining your situation should have been enough for a reasonable person to accept.

Ian