its that point in my life when everyone is speculating on what i should do when i graduate and it's beginning to occur to me that that is just a year or two away. i would love to stay in research -at a particular place- but it doesn pay much... eventually some people make it, most don't. but its close to family. my family expect me to stay here and look for a job in industry which am not inspired by and would only do for the money. however, i won't deny that it wouldn be nice to have a decent salary and some work experience. but would i be happy? or i would just turn into one of those people who seem to care less about anything and whose knowledge seems to have just faded away. am also thinking 30 isn't very far. remaining single is appearing to be more attractive because the last thing i need is to be bogged down with a husband and kids and stuck at home when i could be doing research and contributing to making the world a better place.

is this normal? or am i just loosing it?

You have to do what would make you happy, you can't let other peoples opinions/expectations stop you from doing what you want to do. I'm in a similar position in that I'm thinking about what I'll do when I finish my PhD, and although I'd love a highly paid job etc I'd rather to something that made me happy

Jojo: sounds so familiar:) The most straightforward way to happines is to do things you want to do, not what others suggest. It is not easy, I know, as I hear very frequently that a woman of my age must think about getting married and not about getting a research grant for the next project. Accept you own needa and wishes and follow them, you live your life, not your family.

My favourite is going home to my family and my dad saying to me (half-joking), "oh well when she was your age your mum had three kids..." Yes, but my mum also left school at sixteen with no qualifications whatsoever and barely gets more than the minimum wage even now. I feel like I need a mentor who can tell me what's normal. I partly want to emigrate so I don't have other people's expectations to worry about.

I just want to open a pet shop or work in a zoo....

thanks guys, you're all so encouraging. thanks for reminding me that its my life and it's up to me how i live it. i can't please the whole world. i have considered emigrating, but for me, i would prefer to work at home but everyone would rather i got this well paying job in a whole different country. speaking of jobs, i dono what they are gonna do when they hear that am applying for visiting scholar opportunity is the US. school, school and more school! its my life anyway, if i like school, that's what am gonna do with my life. can't deal with the 9-5 Mon to Fri, 28 days off a year thing, when will i actually ever LIVE. at least with teaching, i can travel during the holidays and do other things with my time during the week. am considering trying out what i want and testing the US first as a visiting scholar before i decide to emmigrate there.

chris - wait until people hear that.. "..after getting a PhD? What was it for, you might as well have started out after GCSEs." All the best

Petting animals is so much easier, fun and cute than theorising about them!

I imagine my life being glamorously split between London, Stockholm and Berlin - an endless montage of research trips, sabbaticals and weekend breaks.

"can't deal with the 9-5 Mon to Fri, 28 days off a year thing, when will i actually ever LIVE. at least with teaching, i can travel during the holidays and do other things with my time during the week"


I so much agress with you on this point;)) Hate working from 9-5 in office!!!