Dear all

this is my first post on here and I would appreciate some advice.

I just finished my first year as a funded PhD student.

In this year i have had a lot of ups and downs and fights against "the system". I have complained about the lack of defined objectives and direction of my PhD and the fact that I do not feel I am being given the time to read, reflect and learn. All to no avail. I don't live close to my institution as i travel so much with my PhD it isn't cost effective top be there, so i commute for meetings which are usually only 1hr long and a repeat of everything we said previously (no idea why he cant just use MSN or Skype)

All in all after looking back over the past year i feel i have learnt practically nothing and made very little progress if any, this shows in my poor standard of work and my severe lack of motivation and interest in a project that was once exciting. I still no relatively nothing about my project area and haven't written one piece of work other than a small presentation and some meaningless reports on meetings.

I don't know what to do ?

I am fed up of working alone with no objectives and feel as though i am being asked to learn an advanced level degree subject without any guidance.

I already hold a Masters degree and I am thinking that a PhD was a bad fit for me considering i cant see any real world benefit of my PhD project.

I have considered my options and I believe I would like to go into a secondary school teaching role, something i decided i may do after getting the PhD and also something i have though about ever since 2nd year of my degree but stupidly I thought I need a PhD as it will give me more options.

I look around and see collegues and friends succeeding in life and enjoying there youth (i am only 23) and I think to myself "there is something drastically wrong here, I work my ass off, never feel a sense of achievement"

All in all im not sure i feel bad for quitting but i think and have been told many times in my life so far a) i would make a good teacher and b.) i am not the PhD type.

I also need to add I never want a job in research or advanced academia (university etc) or as a scientist.

I think my minds made up but I need to think it over for a bit away from everyday stresses.

Hi Sasa,

It sounds like you've already convinced yourself that quitting is the best answer. If you've lost passion, motivation and are generally disliking the experience, it's probably best to pack it in. At least you're making the decision relatively early - only one year's work and 'very little progress' suggests you haven't written/wasted much, so see that as a positive.

I think you'll regain the passion that you've lost when you throw yourself into secondary school teaching. As a career it will have all the things you're missing out on - plenty of human contact, structure, direction and a sense of achievement. Your Masters degree makes you much more qualified than a lot of teachers out there - the world needs more secondary-school teachers with postgrad-level qualifications and skills.

Best of luck!

Is school teaching a good option at the moment though? In Scotland anyway something like only 10% of newly qualified teachers are getting school positions. I don't know what the figures for the rest of the UK are. And even locum work isn't a good alternative, because there are so many unemployed teachers seeking the few opportunities.

Don't want to dissuade you, but check out the statistics before leaping towards this specific career.

I left a full-time PhD 14 years ago, so I've been there, done that. It's not an easy choice. But once you make it, if it's the right choice, it can be as though a weight has lifted off your shoulder.

As I'm only a couple of months into my PhD, I'm probably not in the best position to hand out advice, but it sounds like you're trying to talk yourself into quitting. As you're funded, what happens if you drop out (are you required to pay back any fees as a consequence of non-completion)?

I wouldn't want to sway you one way or the other, but perhaps you should discuss your concerns with your supervisor(s). At least arm yourself with as much knowledge as possible before making a decision. If you're funded then your school/sups must believe you're capable of producing a good thesis. Perhaps you should explain that you want more explicit direction (I plan to discuss this with my sups tomorrow, as I don't even have a thesis topic at present).

Good luck with whatever you decide, but don't rush into anything you may regret.

======= Date Modified 17 Nov 2010 00:03:25 =======
Having re read my post I noticed a bunch of typos I apologise for that.

thanks for the quick replies

In reply to one reader, I have asked for more direction and clearer objectives and will ask again, I have produced gannt charts, task lists, monthly objectives and calenders all to no avail. the objectives are always vague or non productive tasks i.e write a report of 300 words to go over what we discussed in the last meeting, (I had emailed him the minutes and he was in the meeting)

Another worry is that the PhD changed from its original project to a different project due to study site access restrictions. So i get the feeling that this project was an after thought and my supervisor doesn't know where its heading either.

Also I have had an extended period of time where I have been unmotivated and un interested in what I am doing and dragging my feet. I guess I am also fed up of complaining about it.

As far as teaching is concerned it may be that only 10% of graduated teachers go into teaching, but I wouldnt limit myself to the UK alone nor Europe.

Anyways

thanks I just needed to get this off my chest for a bit and refocus. I think Im going to make a decision by January and stick with it.

sasa. i feel the same about another course am enrolled in but am 28 and therefore can explain that friends really are living and that. at 23 come on... differences aren't that much yet!

re the feeling of quitting, the only reason i agreed to take this other part time course was because i got funding. i had wanted it years before but by the time i got the funding i had lost interest but decided to go ahead anyway. in my case its not that i hate the subject; its just that my body does not want to be sat in a library when others are partying, dating, getting married and having children and good jobs! luckily for me this course ends in June which is in about 7 months time. i have lots of exams before then. i have decided just to stick it out for a number of reasons: 1) if i failed, i would be frowned up as i already have a phd which is a higher qualification that this course. so explaining to the funding group really is not my idea of fun. 2) its just seven more months before i start living again and the perfectionist in me cannot stand giving up. 3) i have decided to stay away from schools after that and never enrol in anything stressful like a course. God help us all!

in your case, i would say that the direction of a project is not something that becomes clear until much later. as long as you don't quit you should find it. most people don't actually find what their thesis is about til their second yr. so its not a reflection of your ability. re the feeling that life is passing you by, i totally understand. if its that bad - that your whole being has rebelled against the course and cannot possibly persevere, then leaving now rather than later is a good idea. if you have it in you to persevere, its the better thing to do. i'd encourage you to do that. because feelings come and go. don't decide your future based on a 'feeling' or a 'phase'.

all the best. it gets better. i promise. (up)

Hello Sasa

Its sad that your having a tough time in your doctoral studies. I am in my first semester of mine and its in a field i am completely clueless about. I am interested in communication, but the program i am taking is communication that is heavily grounded in philosophy and rhetoric. My first few weeks were frustrating because i couldnt understand a word in class due to my zero knowledge about philosophy. I have learnt to take it one day at a time and i am hoping my second semester is better.

I just want to point out that its impossible that you havent learnt anything, it might be little, but its something. Secondly, how far along are you in the program? it may still be a bit early to know what your thesis is, besides ideas change and evolve if you give it time. Third, i understand what its like to see your friends living life while you work your way through school. At 23, you are young and should be proud of being able to get admitted into a doctoral program. Its important to note that people have different destinies in life and you should not compare yourself to your friends. I have come to realize that sometimes-people look happy and settled on the outside, but inside they are all messed up and long to have what someone else does. Fourth, there are other options besides academia and research, there is consultant work. the good thing about being a consultant is that you get to specialize in a field you enjoy and make money doing it.

All that being said, my aim is not to dissuade you from you decision especially if it is hell for you, i just want you to see other possibilities, maybe try to find the positive in negative situations and work on minimizing the negatives and increasing the positives. e.g, i find that leisure reading on subjects i am interested in not only broadens my knowledge base, but its interesting because i can apply the new ideas i am reading about to what i already know and eventually use it for my thesis.

Another thing is learn to separate public from private. Public life is school work and outside work, private is your personal life. Work hard, but remember to make time for yourself on a personal level. Go out, see friends, join dance classes, learn to play an instrument, develop a skill, have something that you love doing that helps you de-stress. I am 25 and i live in a different country from my family, its difficult, but i find that having friends that i see from time to time helps, and i am trying to cultivate a leisure reading habit (not novels although that is also a good idea) and find a sustainable hobby.

You will be fine. Good luck with your decision making process :-)(up)

HI Sasa

I am almost at the end of my PhD (part-time) and I can now reflect on those early years.  I found that my subject area was very broad at the beginning (mine and my supervisors ideas) so I didn't really see the direction until the study began. The results have defined the path that it has ultimately took.  I found myself writing bits and pieces with no bearing on the final thesis but this is a learning pastime in itself. You need to write in order to establish an effective communication style.  I also felt out of my depth and questioned my ability to complete this, but I am not going to quit easily as I am fully self-funded! The university really didn't have any guidelines for what needs to be done and when, I had to find out myself what paperwork had to be in when and how.  But a PhD course is not a taught course with laid out timetables of lectures such as a masters, it is down to you to orchestrate the whole project. I guess looking back this is a reflection of the organisational skills that you need to acquire. 

So I guess what I am saying is that a PhD journey is a lonely and isolating one. It is about learning to manage yourself and, to a degree, manage your supervisors too!  It is frustrating and directionless at the beginning but once the project starts to flow a direction will find itself. You need to decide whether this is for you.  I had to turn down a funded PhD that was offered to me in my 20s due to a health issue and I have always thought 'what if?'. I was gutted to turn it down but I was fortunate to work with a couple of consultants on some research for them and so my PhD dream was started in my 30s.  I hope very soon to realise my dream! I also need to point out that passion and drive is required and yes I have lost those every now and then but something exciting happens and it is refreshed.  I am not doing this to advance my career (it has no bearing on my clinical career) but to open new doors to me in the future and for self satisfaction. What are your doing your PhD for?  Maybe you need to revisit this question in order to make your decision.

Good luck in whatever you decide.