So I have presented in the department seminar and I'm very unhappy with how I went. The talk itself went ok, but I was really stuffing up the question.

In fact I couldn't answer most of them, there was one guy in the audience who kept asking ton of questions and I just didn't even get what he was talking about (and he is pretty big deal so I know he wasn't talking complete rubbish). My supervisor was answering for me and I just stood there like an idiot while they discussed things for 10 minutes or so.

I kept thinking how I am never going to be able to discuss that topic at that very high level. Looking at them I feel like I'm not good enough and never will be. I feel that even if by some miracle I manage to get a PhD, I will be unemloyable and never a true expert in the field I'm doing research in. Best I can hope for is mediocricity (and I know I have spelt that wrong too).

I beleive that if you can't do things well, then better just don't do them at all. So what is the procedure for quiting? Do I fill in some form or will I need to discuss this with someone? At this stage, I just want out.

I also felt almost like my supervisor who has been incredibly supportive so far was kind of showing off with the "big deal" guy and went into far more detail than necesseary while completly ignoring my discomfort of standing there. It was just a complete disaster. Worse still, I had people come up to me afterwards telling me "That was good" in that "Feel sorry for me" tone of voice.

Cont.

Just wondering if anybody else had similar experiences and did you just ride it out or seriously considered quitting? This was my best chance to make an impression as all big deal people were there and I failed miserably

I think that everyone experienced things like that. I can tell you that I attended conferences with big names presenting papers and some of them were either unable to deliver or to answer the questions. It certainly gets better as you build up your experience, but things like this may happen regardless of how experienced you are. I presented many times and I made a little disaster the time I felt very confident about it. I thought about retiring somewhere remote, but in the end I learnt to take it as a lesson. Your perception of what happened may also be a bit different from what it really was. You felt uncomfortable and probably inadequate, so your 'picture' of the event appears much darker than in reality was. I would say that, on its own, it's not a good enough reason to quit. You will survive, you will present again, you will be successful next time because you know how to deal with this.

I really hate questions, even though I know my topic, once someone asks a question my mind goes blank. I don't think you need to quit though, I'm sure plenty of people feel the way you do.

Here is two bits of advice that should help.

Firstly, try and write down all the questions you have been asked (at any point) and in your own time try and answer them on paper. If you don't know the answer try and find out.

Secondly, try and get yourself into situations (such as supervisory meetings) where you can be asked lots of questions. You'll find that the same ones come up again and again.

Thirdly (yes I know...) try and ask your self really difficult questions based on your own work, ones you would really hate to be asked, and try and get a feel for a good solution. There is rarely a perfect answer, rather a satisfactory explanation.

I really hate questions, even though I know my topic, once someone asks a question my mind goes blank

Exactly. As soon as some audience person starts talking I pretty much can't think at all. From their first word, my mind goes blank, so much so that if a question is not incredibly easy (as in I could answer it in my sleep) I'm just lost.

This is my first ever presentation on my project so I had no idea what sorts of questions I will be asked.

The only positive thing from the whole experience is that my project seemes to be generating a lot more interest than I thought.

Please dont quit on the account of this presentation. with time you will get better and besides the point i have been at presentations where "big names" found it hard to answer questions. My topic relates to international development and i am always at the ODI and other places where they deliver related talks and you find that even ministers and various authors struggle to answer people's questions and because they are so used to giving these talks, they just find something to say even if it doesnt address the questions asked. I agree with what Away is saying, give yourself a chance to improve.

Don't even think of quitting over this! I exprect that even in a week's time you won't feel so bad: just put a bit of time and mental distance between you and this experience. No-one ( and I mean no-one) has gone through their training without feeling severely inadequate at least once.

And don't worry too much that your supervisor was answering: it's happened to me and it doesn't mean anything, except that your supervisor is excited about the topic and can't help talking about it.

Really & honestly this is all just part of the process. The more you do it, the better you will get at it. You couldn't ride a bike without stabilisers at first, right? Or swim without arm-bands? Your supervisor was just being your stabiliser and arm-bands ... it was actually a really supportive act, even if it didn't feel like that. She obviously cares about you & your work or she just wouldn't have bothered. You are doing fine! Don't quit! Keep going!

I agree with all of the above- I've had some pretty huge disasters when it comes to public speaking, but I decided to keep going and to get better at it and I think that I am. I know what you mean about questions and not neccesarily knowing the answer- one thing I've found that really helps is to flatter the persons ego who is asking the question by telling them what an interesting and thoughtful question they have asked, which gives you time to think. I also find that it makes them far less likely to criticise or question your answer- hope you dont give up because of this..

Oral presentations are a major part of academic life; if you hate it now, do something about it - try attending public speaking courses. Its really down to confidence. There will always be smart alecs trying to get their voices heard by asking seemingly intelligent questions to throw you off guard. Separate the boys from the men and you'll be OK. Its true, this time next week, it'll be a very faint memory. Good luck with future presentations.

I hate doing talks as well- my mind turns into a big gaping hole when someone asks me a question. Often, a few hours later I realise that I probably could have answered the question, but nerves meant I couldn't think straight. In fact, I find it easier to give talks without my supervisor there, he also has a habit of answering the questions for me, which makes me nervous of further questions. There's no shame in saying 'Sorry, I don't know' or suggesting you can have a chat about it after the talk. One of the best talks I've seen someone give, at the end was asked a particuarly nasty question, and answered 'I'm sorry I have absolutley no idea', everyone laughed and it really lightened the atmosphere. I'm not saying you can say this for every question though!

As far as I know, most PhD students hate talks....so you're far from alone....

Exactly the same thing happened to me recently and i was so upset and thought my supervisor was totally ashamed of me. It turned out that certainly wasnt the case. What I did was enter an abstract for the next internal event and gave my presentation again and it went fine (almost well!). Its all learning experience you know and all those questions you couldnt answer you will never be stumped by again ever,the answers will be there forever,trust me I know!!

Although I am normally sympathetic towards people that quit, I don't think that this is a good reason. Almost everyone messes up their first presentation/ gets shocked at the level of questioning. Thats because this is doctoral level, which most of us are not used to. Also that guy is probably a veteran expert doing this for years, and you are still a rookie. Its not a fair comparison.

Do you like your subject? Is your supevisor good? Are you learning something? Are you happy? If the answer to the above questions is yes, don't let this experience demolosh all that.

Thanks guys, this all made me feel a lot better.

Yes that guy was a veteran, in fact has 40 years experience in this field. Few people that were there told me afterwards that they thought his questions were largely irrelevant to what I was presenting. However, I still think that they were relelvant enough and definetly want to be able to answer those types of questions in the future.

Even if I can't discuss them in detail that my supervisor did, I can still give answers that are adequate enough.