So if that title isn't emo enough, here it goes. My advisor is one of the best writers in the field. He cannot seem to teach writing to me though. I have issues when it comes to writing. I am an engineer who does things with computers others in my field dream about. I have always struggled with writing. It is actually gotten to the point where I hate it and I don't mean like I hate my friend for doing something stupid, I mean I hate it like I have a visceral reaction to even thinking about getting started.

I have a writing disorder. It is impossible to explain but I actually do have a problem. I have tried almost everything to work around it and I get the same response: "I sort of understand where you are coming from but you are not being clear." It isn't clear enough, it isn't good enough, and I don't know how to make it better. I have read 100+ articles, 5 or 6 books, use Dragon, try to mimic styles and explanations but none of it really works. I have 95% of all of my models done with fantastic results. I don't know what to do and I can tell my advisor is starting to get frustrated since he does put in time and effort but whatever he is doing isn't working. I can't afford the thousands of dollars for a writing coach and I have a really bad feeling that my writing isn't horrible but it is never good enough. That is, it will be okay for my committee but not my advisor.

What do I do? I am so close to finishing that I can't stop but my first paper took 2 years, the second took 6 months and is still isn't very good. I am now on my third.

Thanks.

Hi asterix! Is it possible that your advisor, as a good writer himself, is overemphasising this as a weakness? Does anyone else read your work? Sometimes good writers have a very firm idea of how things "should" be written but everyone has a different style and yours may be perfectly acceptable to other readers i.e. your examiners. Did you struggle with writing earlier in your education? You must have done well enough to succeed in your undergraduate course. It sounds as if anticipation of his criticism could be inhibiting you from getting your thoughts down.

A thesis argument does have to be clear but I think most people struggle with this at some stage or other. I go for long walks and record myself speaking when I'm trying to articulate something new - it sometimes helps. I also use mind maps to build up arguments, and sometimes story boards, anything to get away from staring at a flashing cursor on a blank screen. Also, it's important to remember that first drafts are usually badly written and the clarity gets tidied up on revision. Most people do not sit down and write perfectly first time.

Hi Asterix,
I am curious to know. How is your verbal communication? Are you able to crisply convey your ideas and research verbally?

Academic writing is a skill that you acquire with lots of practice, time and patience. Usually universities offer academic writing courses to their PGs, and it should be free. You can check with your student learning services. Don't be discouraged - I know that it is not easy, especially if you don't enjoy writing, but you can improve if you keep trying and you get a bit of guidance.