After a year out after finishing my masters I was unsure about doing a PhD straight away, but applied for both jobs and PhDs. The situation was complicated because I now live in France (also did during my year out because I came to live with my partner of 5 years) and finding a job here is tough. I got offered a position on a really great programme over here but even once I accepted it I was never excited...dread was more the word. Not only because it's 7 hours from my partner but I still wasn't sure if research was for me, but I was convinced I'd need it for a career afterwards (I want to work in pharma, definitely not academics) , and everyone advised me to take it. I thought it was too good an opportunity to turn down.

Now I'm here, having moved into a flat, had to get a car because of the location and spend money on furniture and a flat, it has hit me like a ton of bricks that I don't think this is for me. We have to do three 1 month rotations so have to visit labs this week and talk to PIs to decide on projects. I feel no passion for any of it, and whilst everyone else is enthusiastic and happy to be there I just feel lost with a huge weight on my shoulders and want nothing more than to quit and find a job. I'm really worried about money though since I borrowed money in the first place to move. I also feel like a total failure, I regret accepting it and my family would probably be so disappointed and think I am just being silly. I'm not sure what to do but surely it's better to quit now than months down the line. Job prospects also terrify me now that I've had a year out and I have little experience in anything out of the lab. Any advice would be appreciated!

Really, you need to give it more time. I would say you need at least 3 months to truly decide and 6 months would be even better.

You've invested a lot in this to quit so early on, and feelings can often change. Other people may be feeling the same as you, but putting a brave face on it. You may feel differently soon, so just give it a bit more time.

Hi Eilatan90,

every start is difficult. I also struggled a lot moving to a new city and getting adjusted to the new lifestyle and job responsibilities. Your partner should be supportive, and not adding to your stress.

But you need to be more positive about the whole thing. It is a new experience, enjoy the opportunity you were given. PhDs can be hard and stressful, but you will get to go to international conferences, see your work published, and contribute a tiny little bit to current knowledge. Most importantly, someone is paying you so that you can learn and develop yourself.

Personally I wouldn't live 7 hours from my partner of 5 years either. There's more to life than study/work. If it's a serious relationship I couldn't live separately and be happy. But that's just me.

Thank you for your advice, yeah it's made me realise what's important and what I want in life. I've never been sure if a PhD is for me and I feel like I only accepted this because it was the only opportunity that I had and thought i'd be silly to turn it down. I just know that if I knew I could find a decent job in France without a PhD i'd quit in an instant. I have no passion for research and have no idea what I am doing here. My life is a mess..I probably won't quit without at least doing the rotations but it's going to be a rocky road.

If you've gone into a PhD without being sure you want to do one, then no wonder you have doubts about wanting to be there after such a short space of time. If the motivation wasn't there before you started, then why did you start?

You've listed various financial commitments you've had to make and if I'd had doubts, I would not have even made these commitments, let alone start the PhD until I was 100% sure. You've a challenging few years ahead of you and you need to be sure a PhD and possible research career to follow is what you want.

I agree with other posters that one week is a very short timescale to have doubts now you have started and perhaps the three month mark is a better time to review your situation. Give the PhD a chance and don't look for excuses to berate your situation compared to what you could be otherwise doing.

Would your partner being with you make all the difference? Is this possible? Long distance relationships are hard to maintain at the best of times and perhaps if it was possible for your partner to move to be with you, it may give to the psychological lift and emotional security you need or want. If not, you need to take a good long hard look at what you want, which from your later post you have realised.

I note you're doing Pharmacy and will comment that is one career path where a PhD will help you outside academia. I distantly know of someone who works in a Pharmaceutical research facility and almost all the key staff there hold PhDs.

Ian