i know lots of people have experienced supervisor problems, but it the stress and tears worth it? i cant cope with the situation here anymore and have started to doubt whether a phd is worth this stress. i cant handle how my sup talks to me, appears to enjoy shouting at me in front of others (never when lab is empty does he say anything) when something doesnt work he says im careless and lazy (yet when others experiments dont work they laugh about silly mistakes, i just dread coming and cant see how anything is going to change anytime soon as have tried to sort the situation out in the past .i try my best but cant seem to get him to treat me as an equal with the other students/ post docs. any advice ?

Hi There,

Is there anybody else in your department that you can talk to about this situation (i.e. another academic)? Your supervisors behaviour is wholly unacceptable/inappropriate, and if he isn't prepared to support/encourage you at this stage (I'm assuming it's still early days for you), then things won't get better with time if you don't do anything about this situation.

Is there anyone you can talk to? (... remember, switching supervisors might be an option that you haven't considered yet)

I agree, this isnt normal supervisor behaviour - it sounds like downright bullying. I agree with Goods, you definitely need to talk to someone, and you should check out your Uni's bullying/harassment policy while you're at it and see where you stand.

i have had alot of issues with supervision - its only worth the tears if something good comes out of it. someone in your department should be able to help. Believe me - i understand that it is not easy - it really isnt but do try to get help - make sure that you get what you want in that do you want another supervisor or do you just want this one to get better - beacuse when you do go and see someone - they willwant to make changes. Be prepared for a bumpy ride that will be worth it in the long run. I really hope yuor department is more accomodating than what mine is.

Hi wornout. I agree with these guys. It seems like you have a bit of a bad egg here. You definitely need to check out the procedures to log a complaint/grievance (is there a research student handbook at your uni?) - this doesn't sound right at all. Have you not got more than one supervisor? Or is there another person in the Dept. you feel you could talk to? If your supervisor is making you unhappy, don't blame yourself. Get rid!!!

Hi Wornout,this must be an awful situation for you, yet it is not you who is wrong, it your supervisor!
If you don't to anything things will not change and will even be re-inforced.The fact that this behaviour is in front of others may actually be your advantage as you have plenty of witnesses!
Ideally you should speak to your supervisor, yet I can imagine that you may feel too intimidated to do this. Alternatively you must speak to the "ombusman" / dean / person who is at the your university responsible regarding complaints. If you feel that you cannot talk to them write a (recorded) written complaint (and keep a copy) mentioning this behaviour. A written complaint will be investigated and will not be ignored! As your supervisor may deny his behaviour, as mentioned it is useful to have witnesses or even better people who are happy to back you up.

Hope this helps

It sounds like we have very similar supervisors, I am regularly told taking me on was a mistake and other charming comments, and she makes my life difficult in everyway possible. I am now writing my thesis but have come extremely close to leaving on several occassions. How did I get through it? Because I am too stubborn. Can you remember the time when you got your PhD place, and were so excited b/c I assume you were once passionate about your subject, hence the PhD. I know it is hard, but I managed to get that into my head and accepted that she would treat me like cr@p and I would just let her get on with it. It is so hard to do, I know, but it made me more determined to get through it and get my PhD in spite of her. Which I hope I will!