Started writing, and did an extended proposal and lit review in a year. Have felt a little stressed, unaware of how to create collaborative relationships, not motivated about taking the research forward as the research questions do not emerge naturally. Have just written and presented a couple of posters.

Have 1 supervisor. Supervisor tried to influence angle of research heavily, in a direction which I did not feel that I'd signed up to. He changed second supervisor so that my PhD was no longer interdisciplinary. I kept working until one day I told him that I didn't want to take his angle; I cried and he got angry. I meet him weekly. He is very organised but he is very hard to relate to on a human level. He writes very, very abrupt emails and we hardly know one another. I am pretty scared of him, to be honest. Another student has him and feels similarly - she quakes and frets before meetings.

My own behaviour: I missed an important meeting once. I beat myself up about it but I just genuinely forgot and it slipped my mind because it didn't come up in my diary. Supervisor uses this against me, and says I am a bad student. I am genuinely trying very hard but I feel that nothing is good enough. I gave a presentation of research and deliberately simplified it for the audience, but got flagged as a "concern". Unfortunately got stressed and for a couple of months did less than 2-3 hours a day, because I was just sleeping all the time out of exhaustion. I am over that now, but my supervisor is more severe than ever when I told him.

Social: I have an office but the other students are not in often, so I have spent a year mostly working at a desk on my own. A few other students in the department, but doing technical subjects, in contrast to mine. Still have a friend network apart from PhD, as haven't really bonded with PhD students.

I should add, I am trying to find positive solutions. I am coming up to my annual review. I have booked an appointment with the university counselling service simply because I do not know who else to talk to and ask whether my PhD supervisor is too controlling. I would like to switch supervisors but I am afraid of it being used against me and that I may be failed or chucked off at the annual review venture. I don't know if I should say anything in my annual review. It feels like a work review, where you can't tell your boss that you find the job really tough.
My supervisor applied for the funding, so I do not know if it is possible. I find it hard to have agency in this environment, because I do not respond well to the "tough" bootcamp approach, and I don't know how to initiate industry partnerships and feel I have to ask his permission for everything. I also want a second supervisor who gets my research, possibly out of the environment. It would be so nice to hear a "yes, well done" at some stage.

I just wondered, is it normal to sit in front of a computer all year, typing and reading online papers? I have no idea if I am going about this the right way. It is rather isolating. Is a PhD just one of those tough things, like military bootcamp or being in domestic service, or am I having an odd experience of it? My supervisor says I am rubbish, but I just sit here working all year. Am I doing something wrong? Am I supposed to write papers for conferences or ask to teach or something? I have decided just to imagine I am some kind of indentured person with no rights and then focus on the things I can change (asking for the second supervisor I want, tell him what conferences I want to present at). Or is it the case that most PhD students don't do so well, don't complete on time, but it just doesn't bother them?

It does depend slightly on which field your PhD is in, but no, this does not seem a normal way of doing a PhD. Obviously, there will be times when all you do is read and type, but this should be interspersed with other activities which are contributing to your skillset. These activities include presenting your work at conferences, attending workshops/training (either at your uni or sometimes externally), and teaching.

Just to give you a flavour of what you could be doing, I did the following during my time as a PhD student:
Year 1: multiple training courses at the uni, presented a poster at an internal uni mini-conference
Year 2: attended a UK conference to present a poster, gave a talk at another, presented my work multiple times within the department and for my industrial sponsor, 8-10 hr per week teaching
Year 3: attended a week-long training course in the US, presented at a UK conference, presented at a conference in Greece, presented multiple times internally/for my sponsor, approx 8 hr per week teaching

Of course, you have to work hard at doing a PhD and a hell of a lot of it is just solid hard work with no respite (a bit like the domestic service you mention!). However, other parts of it should be enjoyable, giving you the opportunity to put your work out there and get feedback from experts in your field, as well as learning new skills (presenting, teaching etc.) I wonder if there is someone other than your supervisor you could talk to, perhaps someone not attached to your project - at my uni we were assigned an advisor, who was an academic in another department who I could go to with any issues without fear of them telling my supervisor. Do you have anyone like this you can go to? I really think something will need to change, as the way you are working doesn't sound sustainable to me. Hopefully others will be along soon with some advice on how to deal with your supervisor.